Christmas shopping for kids can be a lot of fun. It’s a blast reliving your own childhood by searching out fun toys for your kids that you can surprise them with on Christmas morning. However, any seasoned parent knows that for every fun moment, there are 17 pain-in-the-ass moments. Tracking down that hot item your kid claims their Christmas will be ruined without. Trying to maintain the “Santa” story and giving him all the credit for your hard work. Spending so much money on gifts and hours wrapping them only to have it all over in a crazed cyclone of paper and boxes. As the season draws to a close and your frustration reaches its peak, allow the funny parents of Twitter to relieve you with a few well-earned laughs about the annoyances of buying gifts for your kids.
1. Just give up and shop for yourself.
Went online to get the kids’ Christmas gifts and long story short an hour later all I ordered was a really funny Supernatural mug for myself
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) December 6, 2015
Shopping for the kids got you down? Buy yourself a little something. And maybe another little something. Hmmm….new Ugg boots? Yes, please.
2. It’s a little ironic.
I’ve spent over 100 dollars on Christmas gifts for a kid that doesn’t know the meaning of the words Christmas, gifts, 100, or dollars.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 14, 2015
It’s funny how we go to such great lengths and spend so much coin to impress tiny people who have no concept of money or status. Funny. And a bit maddening. It’s really just best to not overthink it.
3. So tempting to be the “cool” parent.
Wife and I agree about not giving 6 too many Christmas presents, but I still sneak him a few a couple of days later so he’ll like me more.
— Meh For The Holidays (@TheAlexNevil) December 9, 2015
You both agree on an amount to spend, but it’s easy to want to go overboard and be the favorite parent. Just understand you might no longer be the favorite spouse once your partner catches wind of your plan.
4. Socks. Underwear. Toilet paper?
[ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift… ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! “Toilet paper?!”
— Marl Beans (@Marlebean) December 9, 2015
We all want to create that massive “gift explosion” under the tree and make it as magical as possible but it gets costly buying that many actual gifts. This is one time where it’s best to take advantage of how easy it is to please a small child. Toilet paper would probably be a big hit with the pre-school set. Wrap it up!
5. Their list rarely matches ours.
Me shopping: something to wear something to read, something u want, something u need 5’s list: something loud, something loud, something lo
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 13, 2015
We start out with the best of intentions for educational toys but after hearing them rattle off 23 different battery-operated items to the mall Santa, those intentions are replaced by insistent beeps and sirens. ‘Tis the season to be merry. And maybe a little wine-drunk.
6. No one deserves it more.
For Christmas I gave my kids’ teachers grocery store gift cards along with a map of the quickest route to the liquor aisle.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) December 16, 2015
While completing our children’s wish lists, we have to consider the most important people in their lives. And giving them exactly what they deserve. Here’s to a new year spent tolerating our kids, teachers! Cheers!
7. For all that money, we should get something.
Just set the high score on this Toys R Us cash register and they didn’t give me a balloon or anything. Christmas shopping sucks.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 2, 2015
Watching the total add up can be incredibly stressful. A balloon would be nice. Or maybe a flask full of bourbon. A parent can dream, right?
8. Their capacity to believe is crucial.
Trusting my kids to pay no attention to the 84 empty Amazon boxes stacked in plain sight in the garage that showed up right before Christmas
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) December 25, 2013
Thanks to Amazon Prime, those towers of boxes arriving over the next week are a fixture in most homes. Luckily, kids are so busy being excited for Santa they hopefully won’t make the connection between the sudden permanence of the UPS guy in the driveway and the most wonderful time of the year.
9. It requires 72 trips, at least.
Funny how this Target cashier says “Merry Christmas” like she’s not going to see me 50 more times between now & then.
— Hot Breakfast (@amydillon) December 14, 2015
Gift bags, tape to replace yours since the kids stole it, one last teacher gift, stocking stuffers you forgot about — the reasons to gravitate to the red bulls-eye are practically endless this time of year. But how sweet when the employees pretend you have your shit together and won’t be back 22 hours later.
10. That’s one way to end your shopping hell.
3-year-old: *finishes watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”* Me: What did you learn? 3-year-old: How to get all the presents.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 24, 2015
When all else fails, hope that your child has the ingenuity to figure out how to amass tons of gifts without you so much as setting foot in the mall. That would be the real Christmas miracle.