The Funniest Parents On Twitter Talk The Joys Of Marriage Post-Kids

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 

Thankfully, the challenges can be hilarious, as the funny parents of Twitter so merrily point out. Check out these tweets about marriage after kids and know that you’re not alone in pawning off your progeny on your spouse so you can prance off to Target in peace.

1. You have to keep them updated.

If one of you is fortunate enough to escape for several nights of uninterrupted sleep it’s the duty of the parent left behind to help keep them in the loop with all happenings on the home-front. It’s only fair.

2. You find whole new ways to annoy each other.

It’s so special to see your partner’s traits in your kids — both the bad and the good. But let’s be honest, the bad is a lot funnier.

3. Lol bye.

It’s after having kids that you realize having fun doesn’t have to mean as a couple. Run when you get the chance! Fly free!

4. Sigh.

It’s like he gets your hopes sky high only to immediately dash them. But if you don’t step in, they could end up wearing stuff from the dress-up bin to the zoo. Which, come to think of it, who even gives a shit?

5. Sometimes, it needs to be said.

When raising kids together, you might start acting like one yourself. Just calling a spade a spade, ya’ll.

6. Just make notes for later.

If you love never being able to finish a conversation with your partner, absolutely have kids.

7. Because babysitters are expensive.

Keeping a regular date night is all well and good, but have you SEEN what teenage babysitters cost these days? It’s cheaper to buy your kids dinner too and just pretend they’re not there. Romantic as hell.

8. Do it for the amazing social life.

Oh, your childless friends are going to that craft beer festival this weekend that you’ve been dying to check out? Too bad you’re all booked up with Madysyn and Kale’s birthday parties. Organic, gluten-free cupcakes for everyone!

9. An apt description.

You have to explain it in terms they’ll understand.

10. The key is agreeing on the important things.

A united front will get you everywhere.

11. The romance dies just a little.

Mostly, I just need to know where I can also get a footed unicorn onesie.

This article was originally published on