The Olympics Inspire A Whole Lot Of Funny From The Parents Of Twitter

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 

The Olympics hold a special kind of interest for those of us with little people we hope will one day do great things. After all, why else are we lugging a grumpy 6-year-old to 9 am gymnastics practice on a Saturday when we could be at home mainlining coffee and playing on our phones? Sure, we’ve given up on our own potential for greatness, but now, we have teeny vessels made in our image to heap those old dreams upon.

Because whether we admit it or not, all parents have that fleeting thought that their kid might have what it takes to get the gold. Or at least qualify. It’s a long shot, but someone has to be a world-class athlete, and that someone might as well be your special snowflake! That is, if they can just stop tripping over their shoelaces or learn to put on their own bathing suit without incident. And the funny parents of Twitter keenly understand that kind of hope and how very hilariously unrealistic it is.

1. Such potential.

Greatness comes in many forms. Never lose faith. But maybe start using non-toxic tub cleaner?

2. Not even a contest.

Tantrums are certainly cardiovascular endeavors involving the whole body. We should see about this for the 2018 games.

3. So very full.

It’s all relative. For a dad, having the time to eat a big hamburger without interruption is totally cause for celebration. But I’m guessing one of them looks a lot better in a Speedo than the other.

4. Ummmm.

You know what, buddy? Let’s go do a little Googling!

5. Accomplished AF.

Points for resourcefulness though. We all have our talents.

6. Yayyyy!

At least he’s top of his field for something.

7. So close tho.

Maybe they’ll change the rules by the 2024 Olympic games and allow parents near the pool to help with this kind of shit. Helicopter as fuck.

8. Better stick to Minecraft.

Well…let’s be honest. It kinda is.

9. *clutches pearls*

Moms be like, cringing and watching through their fingers. BE CAREFUL SWEETIE.

10. We got this.

Please also add an event for chasing a diaper-free toddler who could poop any second without spilling a drop of cabernet. Such grace and athleticism.

11. Sorry, honey.

Oh, were you talking? Because, swimmer abs. And shoulders. And package. Drool.

12. Fingers crossed.

The shitty part? We won’t even get a medal if they do.

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