Why I Second Guess Hiring Moms

You’re a stay-at-home mom, whose children are growing more independent, and you want to reenter the workplace.

You don’t want to return to your former profession as a teacher, bank executives or lawyer because you left that life long ago. You just want a fun, little job that will provide some extra cash. But you want more than that.

You want a job to give you a sense of connection, of contributing, while actually getting a paycheck.

You want a job because you want to be reminded that you have half a brain, and are capable of using it.

You want a job because – and there’s no shame here – you’re bored, and tired of sharing everything with your family. At least you know, when you hang your coat in one of my employee lockers, you will not have to share it. Or clean it.

We sit down to chat and you immediately tell me, “I want a schedule that works for my family.”

I hear you. That’s my goal, too. I’m working 10- to 12-hour days now, until I can bring someone else on board.

You continue.

“I want to work only when my kids are in school. No evenings, no weekends. I’ll need a week off in the spring and another two weeks in the summer for family vacations. I cannot work Thursdays; I help in my kids’ classrooms. Every other Friday afternoon, I volunteer for the food pantry. But other than that, I’m totally free.”

You sit back, smile, and breathe in the aroma of freshly-baked bread.

As we talk, your voice becomes distant, fuzzy, and a new picture emerges in my mind. I’m getting home past 7 p.m. again.  My teenagers are sprawled out in front of the television, with chips and bean dip for dinner again. They are older than your kids, but they still need me. At times, I think more than when they were little.

Oh, how I would love to hire you! And here’s why:

Moms are pros at customer service. My business is customer-driven. Moms have been on the other side of the counter enough to know how customers want and should be treated.

Moms are team players; you have each other’s backs. Just like you do on the playground. Or in your neighborhoods. Or in your community groups.

Moms are fierce. You have an amazing tolerance for pain, for dealing with less-than-ideal people and circumstances, and for pushing through tough situations. You are, after all, like me, a mom.

Moms can sell my product. Who better to sell a loaf of wholesome, preservative- and additive-free, whole grain bread to my target audience – other moms – than a mom?!

Moms, you’re phenomenal. I’d love to hire you.

If only you’d work with me  – be willing to inconvenience your husband, your children, your in-laws, neighbors, and friends, not a lot, just sometimes – I’d hire you in a heartbeat.

Maybe then, we’d BOTH get what we want and need.

About the writer

When she isn't running an award-winning bakery with her husband, Tom, in St. Louis, Missouri, Judy Honigfort is raising a final teenager, cheerleading her two adult daughters, and doting on her precious grand baby.  She dreams of losing 15 pounds by giving up cookies, pretzel thins, and chardonnay. Read her chronicles of aging gracefully and other topics at hairpasteandotherlifeessentials.com

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Jessica 11 months ago

Thank you. I very much appreciated the comment of ‘work with me’.
To some of the above commentors, remember the hiring person didn’t ask about kids, the Mother volunteered it

Unfortunately I work in a professional environment, and see this enough that it gives ‘working moms’ a bad rep. There’s a woman who comes in around 10 and leaves around 3, which is not 8 hours, and uses the kid excuse every day. There are options to ‘work with you’ and your schedule, including working 7-3 or 10-6, or telecommuting. Instead, her abuse of the situation makes the person and other mothers look less competent and capable.

Issa 11 months ago

Actually, from an HR standpoint, one should never be asked about one’s family or marital status. And it’s not a smart idea to share it openly. If there are scheduling restrictions, lay those out, but be prepared to be hired or not hired based on them–end of story.

Heather 11 months ago

I’m looking for work at the moment and I do mention my children in the interview. But i also stress that I have a wonderful support system in place and have no problems working any hours they require of me. As a single mom I don’t have the luxury of being able to dictate my desired hours. And it’s the moms that do that tick me off. Because employers are hesitant to hire mom’s because of this.

Kay 1 year ago

In the 15 years I have been in retail management, I think I have interviewed thst mom hundreds of times. Yes, people really do look for jobs with that mindset, and yes, if you do hire them, it is with the understanding that their family is much more important than yours.

EllC 1 year ago

Why the heck are your teenagers sitting in front of the TV eating bean dip?! Why aren’t they working in the family bakery?? This is an idiotic BS article.

AmandaAmanda 1 year ago

I certainly don’t think that employers should be made to meet outrageous demands and frequent time off requests. I just think employers need to be more transparent at times and less passive-aggressive. Let them know what the request policy is since most workplaces have a “two week in advance notification” policy.

Amanda 1 year ago

Honestly, this kind of irritates me. What happened to the mutually beneficial employee-employer relationship. I’m a young mom and I’ve been in both the situations where I’ve been the only one working and the only one at home. Employers need to stop trying to trick employees into jobs. You need to be the one to say what you’re looking for and have the balls to say “I’m sorry your schedule doesn’t suit what we need/are looking for. Are you willing to make accommodations?” Instead of pussyfooting around it.

Passing over a woman because she has children and might need time off occasionally shows how much respect has been lost on the end of employers towards their employees. It seems like the job market nowadays has employers looking for slaves rather than employees. They don’t give a shit about you as long as you’re getting their product out.

lisa t 1 year ago

I can not believe how women are so unsupportive of each other. How are we going to change the workplace so that we can make and get these demands? We all want this–why can’t the women who are in a position to make it happen, make it happen? I am ashamed by this.

Ann 1 year ago

See, the part-time type jobs at fooderies and such (which I spent a lot of years working at) usually have a section that asks what hours the applicant is available. Perhaps you should add that portion to your process and weed out candidates that way so you don’t have to interview them. Instead of, ya know, being bitter that you chose to start a business (from the sounds of it), sacrifice your own family time, and wasted time interviewing somebody who wants a part-time job that will fit their own schedule.

(Signed, a full-time working mom)

Nicole H 1 year ago

That is not correct. It is not legal for them to ask about your personal life. That is not anything related to the job and has nothing to do with your qualifications to perform the job. And once they know personal things about you, it can very easily influence them based on their personal beliefs. That is why it is NOT allowed… they could definitely use it against you in deciding whether to hire you. They cannot ask if you are gay, what religion you are, if a woman is pregnant, etc – for a good reason. They also cannot ask if you are married or have children. The CANNOT. There are many employers out there, however, that do not know the law – and many candidates as well, like yourself, that should maybe become aware of what your rights are in an interview. My profession before being a SAHM was a career counselor, so I am pretty familiar with what is and is not acceptable in an interview as we advised students all the time as to how they should answer specific questions if they arise.

Nicole H 1 year ago

I think it all depends on what job you are applying for. If you are applying for a professional job working in an office or working for someone in their home office, it should be understood that it is a full-time job and that you will have to pull some longer shifts once in a while. That is the nature of the professional workplace. But if you are applying for a part time job or a job as a counter person at a bakery, then – um = yeah… you can certainly say there are times you cannot work. Those places often operated 7 days a week and past 5pm, so it is not unreasonable that a person would say they cannot work Thursday afternoon of something like that.

I also find it really offensive that a person would not hire ANY person who is a mom. It is offensive, unrealistic, hypocritical and making suppositions. I believe each individual should be considered INDIVIDUALLY. You cannot lump all moms in one category. When I decide to go back to work I will be looking for appropriate work – if I only want to work part time then I will only be applying for that type of job. And if I decide to work full-time, I know that means extra hours sometimes, as is the nature of any job. I do not expect to be disqualified from a job simply because I have children. That is a ridiculous standpoint to take as an employer. And you will lose out on very qualified, smart, hard working employees because of it. Not to mention how very discriminatory it is. Is it not possible that a man would need to take time of to stay home with sick kids or go to a school function? Because my husband sure does. And when I go back to work we will be splitting that responsibility as we have no other family nearby to help take care of sick kids. I am honestly appalled that another mother would thing and write such a thing. Shame.

Sarah Ziegler 1 year ago

Your “article” is one huge stereotype and offensive. Any competent woman who reads it will immediately disregard your opinion. You’re holding your fellow working women down rather than cheering them on. Too bad.

Ashley Go 1 year ago

I don’t mention I am a mom in interviews, on purpose. I think it could make u look less desirable. Most people would assume your kids come first, and if they don’t have kids, this would prejudice them against you. JMO.

Keara McNulty Sweet 1 year ago

Makes me wish I was still in practice. I got to see way more of the fam knocking out 3 x 7-7 night than I do M-F 9-5 at an insurance co now.

Keara McNulty Sweet 1 year ago

I LOVED nights with my first. Adored them. Made perfect sense to me….My husband is a paramedic so he’s on the wavelength.

Monica Jo Ptacek 1 year ago

I totally get that, but trust me, if you’re feeling that way you are probably a very valued employee because your boss knows you are dedicated and giving what you can!

Monica Jo Ptacek 1 year ago

Yep-I’ve interviewed many who seem to think that they should have a “special” schedule. And we are very flexible with specific requests, but if you come in and tell me that you can’t work any nights or PMs “because you have kids” I’m going to refrain from telling you about leaving my sleeping kids @ home so my husband could take me to work in the middle of a blizzard with our 1 4WD vehicle because I was on-call and an OB came in in active labor. But I will be thinking it…

Holly Noonan Stewart 1 year ago

Wow, I’m sitting here reading her “availability” and thinking I wouldn’t hire her either. I’m currently staying home with my 2 year old after finishing my degree, expecting baby number 2 and PRAYING for a job that is 40 hours, offers insurance and pays decently. I would never restrict my work hours like this!

Amy Swantner 1 year ago

I totally get what you are saying.. Trust me… But when you have a career next to a minimum wage job, paying babysitters pretty much makes it so you are working for nothing. My husband is a principal engineer, so I have been able to stay home with our kids 12 and 14… But is is unreasonable to think that when the kids get sick, or they need to be picked up by 4:30 for after school practices, to think he should leave early to accommodate. That would all be on me…

Stacy Leigh Etter-Voegele 1 year ago

My bosses hired me because I WAS A MOM. They wanted someone with awesome customer service, sentiment, feelings, personality, and knew my schedule would be wacky. They wanted someone who could relate to the needs of our clients, whether they come in for a scheduled appointment or because of a death in the family. Moms are awesome…whether they are stay at home or working.

Amy Swantner 1 year ago

I agree! I sub for special Ed aides at our school district for minimum wage. Solely for the benefits of being off work when my 12 and 14 year olds are off. I think it is a very trying job for minimum wage, and think I could work at Target for minimum wage with much less headache. Problem is… Nights, weekends, Holidays, summers… Ugh!

Sydney Simone Sharkey 1 year ago

And why didn’t you just say ‘these are the hours I’m available’ duh. Lame piece.

Becky Grover 1 year ago

I can see where they come from. no point hiring someone that can only work during certain day time hours but only on certain day thats not the reliable help most places need and you may understand but hey business is business

Rose Zadik 1 year ago

If you don’t NEED the job for survival, it’s a non-issue in my opinion… Spend as much time with your kids that you can… My comment only referred to moms who MUST work to support the household, otherwise the family cannot make ends meet

Amy Swantner 1 year ago

Ahhhh… This is fitting for me right now. As a SAHM for 13 years, I started subbing last year for special Ed aides at our school district. The pay is low, but it got me out of the house a little. Being on call was the worst part. Summers, nights, weekends and holidays are off when my kids are off was the big plus! Now my kids are almost 13 and 14…. Old enough to be home alone for an hour or two, but not all day. The questions run through my head all the time… Should I get a job that I have a schedule with more hours? My husband is a principal engineer, and I have been fortunate to stay home w/o money problems… But cars and college are creeping up on us, and I keep thinking… You can never have too much money. But then, what about summers? Nights? Weekends? Holidays? It scares me to give that all up knowing how fast my babies are growing up, but paid for college educations are also really important. Hhmmmm… I wish I knew the right answers!

Diana Ratliff 1 year ago

It’s more prevalent then you think.

Diana Ratliff 1 year ago

This article is so smarmy. She didn’t even give her a chance to compromise she is looking for a part time job and offered 4 days a week and roughly 10 hours a day. If that doesn’t fit your needs mrs employer the move on, but don’t blame it on her being a mom. I have 50 part time employee and I fully expect for them to have a life outside this minimum wage job. That’s the cost you pay as an employer for offering that type of job. I work with all of their schedules and help them when they get second jobs or have children. I can’t offer them benefits like 401K so I offer them a chance to feel human and that their employer respects them as a human functioning out there in the world. This woman is self righteous.

Lara Burau 1 year ago

I am a working SAHM. I once had a 60 hr/week job (with kids), but when my husband got the job with better pay & benefits, it made no sense for me to keep working as my job would’ve only paid for the required childcare to keep working. In the 7 years I’ve been a SAHM since, I’ve had PT jobs, and have continued to work a small side business the entire time. But employers don’t see that as “work”. And employers don’t see their little pay offers, don’t compensate the required babysitters (who start at $10 an hr out here!). Nice try, but whilst many mom are willing to bend and sacrifice, so many of the employers merely look for excuses.

Clare Eggington 1 year ago

I don’t read this article as having a go at stay at home mums at all. It’s saying if you want or need to work then you may broaden your chances of landing a job to suit you by being prepared to compromise a little bit as you are not the only person with needs and a life outside work to balance.

Cecilia Baquirin-Torres 1 year ago

I think the key is if the mom doesn’t want to compromise, she should find a job that will suit her schedule. She shouldn’t try to demand that her employer rearrange the job to suit her. It’s always best not to make commitments you can’t fulfill, especially if your being paid for them.

Melissa Fisher 1 year ago

I had to list a reason for all lapses in employment for my current job. This had nothing to do with being hired, I already had the job, but had to go through a very intense background check and they verified all previous employment or lack of. Luckily, I worked part-time seasonal work and said my husband made enough that I did it to get out of the house, without saying I was a stay at home mom for 5 years.

Melissa Fisher 1 year ago

It is illegal to ask if you have kids, are married, anything personal, not pertaining to your work experience. I was a hiring manager for many years and it is amazing how many people DO think they are flexible with their hours and disclose all the things they have to do for their kids, and honestly, it does bear on whether or not you get hired. I did not hire people who sounded like they would call off/not show up because little Johnny needs you to read to his class every Tuesday. Never disclose info like this! I am a mom too, but sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut.

Angela Roster 1 year ago

I know that U-Haul has work-from-home jobs, because I knew a guy who did that. Also Hilton was hiring a year or so back for reservations. People do medical billing and appointment setting from home too. Just other ideas for stuff to do from home. :)

Angela Roster 1 year ago

I work at home too. Medical writing and editing. I am salaried through my company but I only go to the office for meetings, and I travel occasionally. I work with lots of consultants who have many kids, and they freelance too, also doing medical editing. They have their offices and kids’ hours set up, and they work doing their planned hours, and they take their kids to and from school and email me that they will be gone certain evenings for someone’s birthday. It works out really well, and we keep using the consultants we can count on. I’ve also worked with people who “leave” (log off early) because they have a sick kid, which would be fine except they don’t log back on when the kid is sleeping, and I’m left taking on their work and mine, even if I have a sick kid too. That’s no fun. :)

Angela Roster 1 year ago

Yeah, or they need money and want a job to get that money, but don’t really want the job or the balancing act that comes with a job. Not that any of us do, but if you want the pay part, you have to do the work part too.

Angela Roster 1 year ago

I don’t think people are saying they don’t hire moms, they are saying they don’t hire crazy self-centered people. If you are reliable and upfront but not insistent and demanding, you aren’t the person the writer is talking about, and you are fine. :)

Heather Taeger 1 year ago

Remember that article ” I’m pregnant, not broken”? The reply to this should be “I’m a SAHM, not stupid!!!”

Rachel Larson Bebus 1 year ago

Not sure that this article is scary mommy material.

Julie 1 year ago

It is legal to ask about personal life in interviews – it’s just not legal to make hiring decisions based off that information. Therefore, most (smart) employers will shy away from asking anything at all, because if they ask and you say you have 12 kids and then down the road they don’t hire you for any reason, it’s really hard for them to prove in court that it wasn’t related to your 12 kids.

Stephanie Burns Dowd 1 year ago

Sorry Scary Mommy- you just lost my following, and I will spread the word. I believe this marginalizing article written by a 50+ Grandma will spread far more mental hurt to your audience than benefit. I don’t know any female parents returning to an already bulimic workforce that would consider leveraging family time in their contract bargaining. If anything, we are reminded to pretend we have no children or commitments other than work, just so we can attain an entry level job and make 1/3 less money than the male counterparts hired at the same time, with less experience. Those males are fathers too. Is anyone asking about that? Furthermore, our own family, spouses, children and parents… Females included, will give us a guilt trip for being the ones to abandon our household, our kids, our responsibilities as involved moms. At what point are men going to be held to the same standard as women and blamed, picked apart, or held responsible as much as women? I have worked a “man’s career”, stayed home with kids, and am college educated… At what point are women going to be treated equally?

Tonya Utkina 1 year ago

So the reasoning goes like this: My kids eat junk food because I don’t have time to cook and take care of them, so I want your kids to eat junk food too. I’ll hire you only if you forget your family and stop caring about your kids and your spouse. Sounds pretty crazy!

Jenny Vega 1 year ago

I’m afraid that this author, while trying to *say* she is understanding, is coming across as very uncool and unfriendly.

Tania McCreanor 1 year ago

I was a SAHM for 5 years and I was lucky enough to return to my old job (with lesser duties). Within the first 2 weeks of being back, my hubby’s work sent him overseas for a month and my daughter and I both caught a terrible virus that is going around this winter. I can deal with it myself with the multitude of drugs on offer to adults over the counter but for a 5yr old it is seriously tough going. I’ve had to bring her with me to work 3 days already just so i can keep working and watch her at the same time. My boss is very good about it and has no unreasonable expectations, and only expects me to finish my work by the end of the day. Before I agreed to go back to my old job however I was ridiculed by recrutment agents for being too demanding (I asked for school hours! heaven help me!) It took 6mths of serious job hunting before I decided to go back (it was only a difficult decision because it is a 40min drive that takes me to the other side of the city every day). I know what every mother goes through in the workplace, but I have also known mums who take full advantage of their bosses lieniency. This I completely despise and in some cases i don’t blame employers for judging so harshly. It’s not right but it happens.

Brook Boston 1 year ago

I’ve recently been told that “business is business” and while I understand that, my business is to provide for my kids AND be their only parent. I completely relate to the author though, since I am one of the management team, and the truth is, if you can’t have open flexibility when you are in the work force, you will be passed up for someone who does. It sucks, it’s not fair, and it’s the way most businesses are run. I’m the only one who can and will put my kids absolutely first in everything.

Nancy 1 year ago

I prefer moms in my business. But I do get a lot of people who say they will only work weekday mornings. I say up front that nobody gets to cherry pick only the coveted daytime shifts. Willingness to work at least one evening or weekend shift per week is non-negotiable. I spread it around, make it as fair as I can. I think sometimes people think if they don’t say “mornings only” they will get stuck with ALL the stinky shifts. I really want to hire moms, and sometimes all they need to do is think a little creatively about how they could manage just ONE evening a week.

Sharon Angnakak 1 year ago

I think we should support stay at home mothers, or mothers who want to continue their role in.the home. If they are a right fit why not? Our culture needs to change, it’s obvious that society is being affected because of the loss of that primary role for the children. I have never had that luxury to stay home with my kids, but I definitely see the value in SAHM, for all of society.

Danielle Fournier Peterson 1 year ago

As a business owner I respect your stance. I would not expect you to sacrifice your family for my company. That means however, that I will hire someone who can work the hours I need and not you.

Kylie 1 year ago

Me too.i was a great worker before I got married. I just was not a good worker once I got married and pregnancy made me even worse. My heart just wasn’t in if anymore. My family comes first 24/7. Tbh I probably won’t ever return to work unless we really need the money because I want to be involved in my family so much. It’s just not fair to the employer really.

Kylie 1 year ago

I love it! I worked for a small business like this while pregnant with my first. I got paid minimum wage for running the business. She only came in like once a week. She kept wanting me to come back after I quit too. So not worth leaving my baby for that. Lol

Anonymouse 1 year ago

This is why corporate America sucks.

Sofia Munday 1 year ago

It’s articles like this that prove why it is so difficult for mums to re enter the workforce. The attitude of this employer assumes that ALL mothers are demanding and unwilling to work with the employer. If you want talent, skill, success in your business open your mind and that includes giving a fair chance to mums trying to get back into work.

Jasmine Rodriguez 1 year ago

I am a mother and a full time employee. Here are my thoughts. If you want part time don’t interview at places that are looking for a full timer. Full time means the company’s full time hours, not yours, and they should not be expected to be flexible with their business hours. Secondly, we are NOT special just because we have kids. I am amazed at how many people posting seem to think they are. That’s bull. You scream equality but then complain that you can’t make your own schedule. The young adults that don’t have kids deserve the same that us parents do. Do you expect companies to work around everyone? Come on, get a grip on reality.

Anna Maria Gialias 1 year ago

Hey, as a working mom we really can’t have it all. It’s tough out there and flexibility is key. We would all love to have the perfect schedule so we can be with our children when they are home, but business is business and life is not perfect. Article is right on the money

Vicci B. Chuc 1 year ago

Thank you for your input, I won’t only apply there, I plan on applying as many places as I can and taking the position that works best for me. I hadn’t planned on going into too many details, just my availability, the rest they can just mind their own business. How many of you live in Canada?

Jessica Ceman Thiel 1 year ago

I think interviews are an opportunity for both the interviewer and interviewee to gather information to see if it’s a right fit. If something’s not working for one of the parties, so be it. Move on and look elsewhere. To the author I’d say try not to paint a whole group of people with too broad a stroke.

Beth Reser Roybal 1 year ago

Maybe if you worked smarter, not harder, you wouldn’t have to sacrifice time for your family. They obviously aren’t a priority. It’s too bad you don’t hire moms. After all, we are pros at time management and raising a human being is pretty much the epitome of responsibility isn’t it? Dumb article.

Jen 1 year ago

I don’t understand how this candidate reached the in-person interview stage. If you spell out the job description and requirements clearly in the job posting (including hours, responsibilities, etc) — how do you get candidates coming in (presumably after a phone screen) making these demands in person?

Erin McComas Cockrill 1 year ago

It is because of these types of articles that reaffirm that I made the right choice to become an independent consultant with Rodan + Fields. I make my own hours, work when I want, where I want, take vacations when I want. I am not constrained by an office or a boss and the upside potential to my business is incredible. The doctors who created Proactiv recognized how they could not only change people’s skin, but their lives as well by creating an opportunity for normal people like you and me to generate residual income and help people. I want to share this with you all, so if you are interested, give me a shout and I will tell you in 15 minutes why this business is booming and perfect for sahm’s and anyone looking to bring in extra income each month.

Mandy 1 year ago

I find this article and comment thread utterly disappointing. I am a SAHM now, and was an HR professional for nearly a decade before that. It really stinks that SAHM’s are dismissed out of hand before ever landing a job for fear that they will try to tend to their family as well as work. How are people supposed to raise well rounded families, if they are told by all of society that you have to work, you have to be devoted to your children, but don’t think you get any time off to do it. Oh, and by the way we will make evening/weekend daycare so prohibitively expensive you will never be able to make it work.
People are so damned if they do and damned if they don’t, it is ridiculous.
Why shouldn’t someone be upfront with their schedule? As an employer if it doesn’t work for you fine, but why should Mom’s have to hide the fact they are Mom’s to even be considered.

Katherine Bertram 1 year ago

You know, I never see my husband say, “I’m special but I’m not that special” or “you can’t walk in to a job with a list of demands and expect to get the job”. Of course he has a list of demands. He demands decent benefits, he demands schedule flexibility, he demands to be respected for his expertise. This is the reason for the gender inequality in pay. Women don’t get that employers need to treat them with respect for what they bring to the table. A single dad applying for a job wouldn’t hesitate to demand a flexible schedule and would be respected by his employer for being a family man. The only reason women are treated different is because we allow ourselves to be treated like we have less value.

Heather Kobzarev 1 year ago

Amen!! Agree with every single word in your comment!!

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

I found that working as a newspaper carrier while my kids and hubs slept was a good job for me when mine were tinies. Got me out of the house and worked with our schedule.

Sometimes you just do what you’ve got to do.

Adrianne Ward Burney 1 year ago

I’m with Mary, Hannah & JoAnne. The reason I’ve had such a hard time finding a job is because of my situation: My husband works nights & weekends with no set hours, & there are no after-hours daycare providers in my area. Therefore, I’ve been a substitute teacher for the past 8 years since it’s the best job for my needs. I have the chance to get a better-paying job with longer hours, but if I can’t arrange transportation for my preschooler, I won’t be able to take it because it wouldn’t be fair to my employers to bend over backwards JUST FOR ME. I’m special, but I’m not THAT special that the business world revolves around me.

AndiP 1 year ago

I think the message is more along the lines of needing to be flexible if you want a job. Yes, it is likely that the interviewer will make more than the person they hire. That is not relevant to the point of the article. If you, as a candidate, plan to dictate every single thing you will or won’t do from the moment that you get an interview, then you have shown the employer that you are not planning to be a team player and be flexible in unusual circumstances. Never being willing to bend is not a quality I look for in potential employees. If I have a teacher meeting, would you not be willing to bend a bit and send your kids to a friend’s house for 1 afternoon to help out? It’s just an example, but the point is that any one of these demands may not be a deal breaker, but all of them is.

Roman 1 year ago

You know what is fascinating about this article and the dialog that ensued? From the get go, we are assuming that ANY job/career is some how more important that raising a family. It is basically a forgone conclusion. I am shocked that not one person raised the objectivity of this dialog. And what exactly is wrong with putting your family before your job?? Oh, that’s right. Because, the WalMarts, Fords, Walgreens, Microsofts etc will be there forever for YOU. They value you for who you are and see you as a person (not cattle of course, that would be ridiculous). I absolutely, loved the comment about having kids make their own dinner, or eating canned beans. And how dare, this Mother who wants to actually balance work and family, oh and give more priority to actually raising the family.

And you smug repliers out there (@BarkMan) don’t be so quick to rebuttal with “I don’t know how it is to be a mother or I am a lazy democrat”. Or, I must have a great job, so, it is easy for me to say all these things. So here is a little story for you.

I am self employeed developer. While I am working on my “I will be rich soon” project for a couple of years now. My wife has put her career on hold (we have four kids under 6), so, I can finish. You can guess the rest.. She has tried to work, but it always turns out that you have sacrifice your family – for what?? (you can re-read the WalMart etc comments)

BTW
I am Republican and a fierce capitalist.

Brandy Garza 1 year ago

The writer or the blog is in the food service industry… That’s a very demanding industry and is busiest on holidays summer nights and weekends. It explains the writers frustration with having interviews like that.

Sara Nibarger 1 year ago

I’m a SAHM. I think some of the comments this article has received are just crazy! Reading this in no way did I feel like the author was discriminating Mother’s. She’s not saying all Moms should be like her either, she is just telling us what she does do. Yes it’s her choice as others have pointed out, as it’s every other Mother’s choice to do whatever it is that she feels works best for her, for her children and family. If you feel you can’t compromise at all and that’s what works for you and your family then do it. Also realise it will be hard to find a job when/if you want one. If you feel you need a certain job with certain pay to do what you feel best for you and your family go for it. Most likely in such case you will have less family time. There is hundreds of scenarios in between, everyone has to compromise somewhere whether its pay, family time, personal time, or whatever. None of us as people, as Moms are any better than the other. We are all just different we choose different lifestyles. If you find your self wanting more family time or more money or whatever somewhere you will have to compromise. We can’t have it all, we can’t do it all, thats just not how it works.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

Samantha, you don’t have to disclose that you have children. The employer does have the right to ask if there is anything that would prevent you from meeting the expectations of the job, including the schedule, but they can’t ask about what that might be. So if you say, I can only work until 3pm, they can’t ask you why. If they do (some small business owners just don’t know the law), you can politely respond that you have other daily obligations.

Michelle Mullinax Gurion 1 year ago

Love your comment! I feel exactly the same way.

Stacy Hotaling 1 year ago

As a SAHM for the last 3 years I can safely say I will not wish I had worked more. I am a SAHM because child care is simply way too much. I would literally pay to work, I wouldn’t even break even. However when I do go back to work, yes I will need to work four hours a day to pick up the children, shuffle them to activities and what not.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

Asking someone if they are married or have children would be illegal. Not hiring someone that is the best candidate only because they are married or have children would also be illegal.
This woman did not ask, and she didn’t hire the mom because of her lack of flexibility, not because she was a mom.

Jeni Deisinger 1 year ago

Nicole Van Hoose, I have an associates degree. If we’re barely surviving on 1 income, which is why I need to work… I’m confused how you think I can go back to school for anything.

April LaBar 1 year ago

Whoah, that’s kind of harsh. But the reality of it, is that SAHM pay a price of leaving the workforce…we will never be looked at as the “dedicated employee” once the stigma of, “Oh, you quit your awesome paying job to hang out with your kids everyday?” Follows you around. And you know what, I don’t care. Fine. Don’t hire me. It is worth far more to be able to name and know your kids teachers and friends and spend quality time that you can NEVER get back with your kids. I don’t regret quitting my job to stay home. Yes, I go a little crazy at times and yearn for adult conversations, but it’s all worth it.

Cheri Allison 1 year ago

This article is perfect proof to the detriment of our society. Putting family first is frowned upon??? When did that become the norm??

Kasi StJohn 1 year ago

You dont have to tell them you are a mom. Its none of anyone’s damn business. I worked up until I was 39 weeks pregnant and came back when I was 6 months post partum and never missed a day after that.

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

:) I’m a freelance writer.
I should add, it took me a solid two years to build up to a point where I’m making enough to support us. (I’m a single mom raising teens).

I mainly use oDesk.com. It’s a listing of freelance jobs available. It takes a lot of work to go through the listings and find jobs worth taking among all the “500 words for $1” type postings. I took a lot of crap jobs- for example, wrote a 40 page book on “how to make better cheese at home” for $200, before I landed regular clients and started making any kind of money.

It’s not an easy way to make a living, but I’ve always been a writer, so I love it. If you have additional skills, like graphic design and HTML, you’ll find other jobs as well. They list quite a variety, including personal assistant and customer service, doing sales calls and so on. I just stick to the writing jobs because that’s where my skill set and interests are.

Good luck!

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

Have you thought about some additional training/education? Retail is a tough job when you need flexibility. Then you might make more money too, so if you do need childcare. There are so many online options too, so you can keep your schedule around your child. If you do consider it, I highly recommend looking at a community college and avoid the “online” colleges; most of those online colleges are for-profit, they charge a small fortune and some have gotten into some lawsuits over questionable/predatory loan practices. Community colleges tend to be really affordable and being a mom you might even be eligible for some financial assistance. Many of the classes and faculty tend to be pretty flexible too as lots of students go to community college because they are working while in school or are parents.

Jennifer Hammes Logan 1 year ago

Nicole, I’m well aware of what it takes to run a business. My husband ran a plumbing company for nearly ten years, and I ran the office and books.
I never expected any of our employees to work the kind of hours my husband did. The phone rang at all his of the day and night and there were no days off, weekends or vacations.
That’s what comes with being a business OWNER.
For her to expect someone to work as doggedly at her business as she does, surely she doesn’t expect to get by paying them a part timers wage.
But that’s what it seems like she’s saying. “You expect to have some sort of existence outside this company of mine, therefore, I can’t hire you.”

It’s not because the job seeking mom’s priorities and expectations are out of whack. It’s because hers are.

Gerette Gordon Braunsdorf 1 year ago

As a SAHM who has been lucky enough to freelance here and there over the last 10 years, I understand that the work needs to get done. However, many of us no longer live in our city of origin so we don’t have relatives to watch our children. So if you’re paying me $10–13/hour for a retail or support position, I have to spend $20-30/day for childcare. And that’s on a school day. That figure is doubled or tripled for vacation days or during the summer. I literally can’t afford to work unless it’s a more professional position with a professional pay grade.

GunDiva 1 year ago

Further, if you don’t “need” to work and just want something to do, there are plenty of volunteer opportunities available who would LOVE to work around your schedule :)

Vanessa 1 year ago

Very well put! It’s too bad the outrageous cost of childcare (many people cannot AFFORD to work weekends/afternoons), the discrepancies of pay rates between managers and minions, and other issues of employment in an grossly unequal capitalist system are rarely considered in articles like these…

GunDiva 1 year ago

There are a lot of women commenting who I *would* like to hire. Unfortunately, it’s been my experience that they’re the minority. My experience has been similar to the writer’s experience, which is a shame.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

I’m sure that if you want to come up with the $100,000 plus for a partnership and take on equal liability as a business owner, maybe she’ll consider your proposal. Her investment is already much greater than anyone working a 8 hour shift.

Liz Beyer 1 year ago

I find both sides of this article a bit ridiculous. First off, I am a SAHM looking to return to work and I would NEVER go in making those types of demands. Anyone who would seriously do that should expect not to get hired. Second.. The author writes about what awesome employees moms make, and I agree! Moms will be more patient, knowledgeable, and a lot of times make an all round better employee. BUT, if that’s what you want, managers should be willing to not only offer higher pay to mothers but be willing to make some scheduling concessions. The compromise should work both ways so that both parties can benefit.

Micah D. R. Bower 1 year ago

Yes!! ^^precisely this!

Michelle Holt Finch 1 year ago

This article is such bull. As a child, I never saw my parents because if their ridiculous work hours. I grew up in daycare until I aged out and then stayed at home alone getting into trouble until I was finally 16 and pregnant. I don’t have any memories with my mom but tons with my many child care providers. For this reason alone, I have opted to go against the American ideal and be a SAHM for that last 10 years. I have been actively pursuing education and am nearly finished with my bachelors degree but am finding it daunting looking for flexible careers that will allow me to still put my family first. The problem isn’t the mother and her demands are far from ridiculous. The problem is the over zealous, profit hoarding businesses who don’t pay high enough wages for most mothers to even be able to afford quality child care. The problem is the ever busy, career first family last mentalities that have taken over the developed west. I have so much to say about the ignorance of the entrepreneur woman who wrote this article but why bother?

Betsy Aimee 1 year ago

I agree with you. There is still so much work to be done on adjusting our work force and attitudes about the work force so that they are more family friendly for both fathers and mothers. I think that it is changing but very slowly and with our actions we all play a role in accelerating or slowing down these changes. Kudos to your husband for doing what he felt was right for his family.

Heather Louise 1 year ago

I don’t blame her at all, really. I’m a mum who’s pregnant with a toddler, working full time and I often feel like the worlds worst employee- always needing sick days for my kid, taking off earlier than I should (no set hours, but could stay a half hr longer to work) because I need to pick up from daycare and constantly tired from the incessant night waking a that come with a toddler. Frankly, I don’t blame her.

Jeanie Trexler 1 year ago

Bottom line. It does not matter if you are a parent or not. It doesn’t matter if you are married or not. Employers need what they need and that’s that. What people seem to forget is because I have a job does not mean you now own me and get to threaten my job if I need days off. A sick day for a kid um that’s from someone with no children. If a child has a fever they are sent home and must be gone for 24 hours before returning. Daycare won’t take them either, and if you are lucky it will be an over night thing but kids get strep, bronchitis, ear infections, etc. Try to schedule appointments for outside of work. Um my doctors office isn’t open at 7pm. My life doesn’t stop because of a job and neither does any of yours. We get sick, we get married, we get divorced, take vacations,we have babies, sick babies, surgeries, deaths, etc. These normal life events do not stop or get erased when obtaining employment. When an employer asked me if I would consider myself to be reliable I said, Absolutely! I am always there for my children. As far as anything else, I am reliable as my children allow me to be. There are far more discriminations being used when selecting future employees and it’s not just because you’re a parent. As far as someone wanting off work for a hair appointment VS a parent that needs to leave because their child threw up in school I guess I know who I would make stay and not because I am choosing the parent over the person with a hair appointment but because the parent is more likely to walk out. I am also finding more and more employers not accepting Doctors notes or even requiring them unless you are gone for 3 or more days.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

There are people that will take advantage. I also used to hate how people would take advantage of smoke breaks. While everyone else, including the boss, would go out and smoke, the non-smokers were expected to stay in and keep working. I took up “smoking” just to go outside. That is when I discovered that there were a lot of important side conversations and decisions happening outside of the office that the non-smokers weren’t apart of.

Carolyn Brodie Honsinger 1 year ago

Who the hell goes to a job interview with these demands? If I were hiring, I wouldn’t let the person finish their sentence, seriously. I obviously am aware there are no jobs that meet these criteria. I would never speak to a potential employer like this or expect this type of coddling.

Sunde Ahlgren 1 year ago

I am one of those moms. Well, will be when my kids go to school. I do hope to find a part time job that works with my husbands time-off schedule. Cause how can we plan family vacations if I can’t get the same time off as him? And sue me if I have to be off in time to pick my kids up from school. I am blessed with a husband who works hard and makes an income to support his whole family. So me working is not a priority, my family is. So if I can’t find a job that fits my needs, then so be it. I’d much rather be here for my family than have to get after school care for my kids because you need me to clean up after you or tend to ungrateful customers needs. I’ll leave that for the moms who actually need to put up with that.

Samantha Kerkstra 1 year ago

Kate Jack I didnt know that!! Thankyou so much for posting that! Im going from sahm for the past 6 years to looking for a job starting next week once my oldest starts school & I really didnt want to disclose I have children

Shannon Baker Meyer 1 year ago

I think her assumptions are pretty offensive and she’s making a huge generalization that all SAHMs would have these ridiculous demands. Not to mention that the title of this article alone suggests hiring discrimination – it’s illegal to refuse employment due to marital status, pregnancy, whether people have kids or not, etc and the question shouldn’t even be asked or discussed in an interview by either party (completely unprofessional). It’s like saying “I second guess hiring women because they’re overly emotional” or something. Her little cheery points in the middle about what makes mom’s such good employees don’t make up for the rest of the article. This does nothing but put more of a divide between working moms and stay at home moms, when all we should be doing is supporting each other because we ALL have a difficult job to do, no matter what choices we make about working outside or within the home.

Stacy Hotaling 1 year ago

This country really needs to get it’s priorities straight in response to maternity leave and flexibility. You shouldn’t have to choose work over family. You should not be held captive to your job or the dollar. It’s so sad this country is so dead set on profit. They don’t care if you have family or not, if you don’t benefit them in then it’s not worth it to them. We need to bring back the family/work balance. We need to reboot the childcare system as well, shouldn’t have to base taking a job on the fact it only pays daycare and nothing else. It should not be like that.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

I think of it more as a representation of what NOT to do. You are right, the stereotype is already there, and the author is making you aware of what you are facing when you go in. Be prepared to battle that, and don’t ever go in saying anything like written in this article. I have hired many women myself, and I have had similar experiences. Some women feel entitled to make their own schedule because they have children. There are women that are this dense, unfortunately. :/

Jeni Deisinger 1 year ago

I’ve been trying to rejoin the work force for the past 2yrs. This year, I’m going on 5yrs of being a stay at home mom. We NEED the 2nd income. I’ve always worked in retail, so I know there is no such thing as a flexible schedule. However, I don’t have child care & I can NOT afford childcare (unless I’m making $20+/hr). So when I can ONLY work when my child’s in school, it’s because I do NOT have a choice.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

I think that my husband lost his job for doing this. He starting making family more of a priority, cutting back on office hours and working more at home at night. Actually using all of the vacation time that he had accrued. He told one of the bosses that he voluntarily worked every major holiday and most Sundays throughout the year and had accrued 5 weeks of comp time, and he was planning to use some of it around Christmas break. After that he noticed that he wasn’t included in a lot of the company decision making and when his project was almost done he was fired, despite stellar performance reviews. He was even told that he would eventually be partner of the firm at his last review. A couple of divorced guys with no kids had moved up in the company and I think they were the ones that pushed to fire him.
I am a highly educated woman that has always had a career, but I have also always also been the primary caretaker. I pick them up from afterschool activities and take them to the doctor and stay home when they are sick, etc. However, I took a job that had a short, but inflexible work schedule. I only needed to be at work 20 hours per week, but I HAD to be there during those specific hours. My husband had to pick up some of the slack. I think men are looked at more critically for taking time off to deal with family issues.

Lia Oprea 1 year ago

I love how her description says “when she is not helping her husband” but then expects someone else to neglect theirs.

Erin Zielenski 1 year ago

I’ve got news for ya, flexibility exists, but you have to work your ass off to earn it. Employers generally aren’t out to hire someone they can accommodate; it’s the other way around.

With that said, I work for one of the most family friendly companies in the world, but I WORK. Yes, I sacrifice, but it’s worth it.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

It is okay to share your availability, but I wouldn’t do so until they ask for it or until they offer your the job. If they ask for your availability, just tell them the days/times you can work. Don’t go into explanations about other obligations, employers don’t want to hear that. They want to know how much and when you can be there. Period.

Sarah Wallace 1 year ago

why does this article focus solely on mothers? is it because, for some mystifying reason, fathers are still not expected to shoulder their fair share of child rearing duties?

Mary Ann 1 year ago

This is exactly why I didn’t work for the first 8 years of my son’s life. I am just crawling back to work this year but it was obvious to me I couldn’t go to an interview and say, “oh by the way, I am available Mon- Fri from 9:30 until 2:00 and I have to be off early on Wed. because my son has half days, and twice a week he has a Dr. appt….”. It would be idiotic to assume anyone would have a position that worked around my schedule. As other’s have mentioned I wasn’t about to go take a minimum wage job and put my kids in day care when the pay would barely cover the cost of day care. It just doesn’t make sense to have someone else take care of my kids while I’m at work so I can bring home $2.00 per hour after child care costs.

Britta Marine 1 year ago

I agree entirely with you. I was just offended that she lumped “moms” into this category when they are by far not the worst offenders. I have worked through vacations planned months in advance (and time off requests made months in advance) before just because some college student didn’t study all semester and then threatens to quit if they can’t have the next week off to study for finals. When I was a student, I studied in advance and never needed extra time off because it was suddenly finals week. I guarantee those particular co-workers are one day going to become the moms that this author is talking about. But it has nothing to do with them being moms; it’s because they are self-absorbed, narcissists, unrealistic, etc

Andrea Kanaar 1 year ago

Thank you!! Very well said.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

Why would I hire someone that can only work 4 hours when I need them for 8? Then _I_ have to pick up the slack of them being gone. She is hiring someone to help her business, not to help a mom get out of the house for a few hours. I would never not hire a mom (or dad) just for having kids. I get that parents need to take a sick day, or sometimes for special events they need a day or few hours off. I’m a parent, I get that. This is precisely what personal time and sick time is for. But if you can’t do the job or work the regular schedule, then you can’t, and it is unreasonable to ask for such special treatment. No one is entitled to any job that they want.

Stacy Hotaling 1 year ago

Very well said! I don’t think mothers or fathers should have to back down on some of their requests for fear that they won’t get the job.

Scargosun 1 year ago

I am STUNNED by the people on here that think the demands, all or some, of the interviewee are reasonable. If you want a job, it is a job. It is not a ‘job for moms that need more flexibility than people without kids just because they are moms it doesn’t matter if extra work falls on someone else because I am a mom.’ I have seen this attitide in action. The attitude of the interviewer is not sexist. She is being realistic. She has a family too. This is a woman looking for a person that is willing to do a job, not a person willing to do a job only when it is convenient. Why would you apply for a job that you know requires more than you are able to give?

Aimee Bermingham Miller 1 year ago

It’s also good to volunteer if you are a SAHM! Then you do have work history, it’s just not paid :)

Nicole Solis 1 year ago

I say this all the time. I’m a single mom so I have that schedule barrier as well. However when I’m going to get a job I’m very aware that my schedule demands could cost me that job there’s always someone else an employer can hire that does not have those time issues. Make the adjustments if you want the job is my opinion

Aimee Bermingham Miller 1 year ago

If a stay at home mom wants to re-enter the work force “for fun”, who cares what type of schedule they need. It’s not the income the family is running off of. She has every right to hunt for what will work.

Most husbands can’t make “sacrifices” at work that will risk their jobs, a single family income needs it.

Jennifer Gammonley Boisvert 1 year ago

To piggyback on this, not only are we the only one not to have mandatory maternity leave(this is fact, look it up) if a company does offer it they offer perhaps 2-3 months & you have to use part of your vacation time. Throughout the U.K., Europe & the Scandinavian countries you are not only guaranteed your job when you return from maternity leave but the average maternity leave(and PATERNITY leave) is 6 mos- 1 year. Not to mention, you cannot be fired for being pregnant. Whereas this has happened in the U.S. more often than not.

They also take childcare more serious overseas then they do here, many companies offering free childcare or at least a stipend to the parents to pay for such.

The U.S. continues to be backwards in how it treats parents & children and it shows.

Rebecca Bussa Saunders 1 year ago

Here’s the problem I see: That we, as a society, have stigmatized mothers in this way. Businesses are not changing to accommodate the new workforce and create a supportive system with FAMILY at the nucleus- and we, as women, are still trying to cram ourselves to fit into a business model created by men 50 years ago whose wives handled everything at home and had absolutely no worries beyond being the primary bread winner. There’s something seriously wrong with this country and our perceptions of family as being a burden instead of an asset, and working mothers being less effective in their positions then childless women or men. I work 10 times harder at EVERYTHING I do since having my children, but when push comes to shove, I will put them and their needs above a job. But see- I have “rich white people problems” because I’m lucky enough to not be a single mom forced to work two jobs just to support herself and her kids. I have those options; a lot of mom’s don’t. And the way our society is set up, we’re forcing those moms to struggle and ultimately fail. Unex-fucking-ceptable.
I’m lucky enough to be able to refuse to fit into that old school business model where money is king and your employees are a secondary consideration…. and I’ll be damned if my future employees will have to either- especially any employees who happen to be working mothers.

Ashley Marie Bingham 1 year ago

I don’t think this article applies to “moms” so much as people who seem at best uninterested in a true job. I mean the article describes someone who just wants something that passes the lulls between busy times.

As the child of a single mother- it’s actually a little offensive that this article would suggest “moms” in general are like this. My mother worked and still works 60+ hours. When I was young it was to ensure I was cared for and she was financially stable. Now it’s to maintain that stability. I’m sorry but just because one employer had a bad experience with a mom candidate doesn’t mean they are all like that.

Kate Rademaker Webster 1 year ago

What do you do? I would love to work from home.

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

Of course, everyone deserves time off. I think this is more about the people that come into the initial interview with such demands (in the experience of this author, moms, but anyone that does this would be in the same boat). They haven’t even been offered the job. They haven’t even heard what the benefits may be already. Once the job is offered and benefits reviewed, then negotiations can begin.
My husband just started a new job. When he got the offer, we already had a vacation planned. He told them that he would need a week off after only working 3 weeks. He didn’t mention it until he knew that they wanted him. This is when you have negotiating power. If they want you bad enough, they may consider such requests.
The mom example in this story also did not show dedication to working. Really, you aren’t going to give up your volunteering to work? I schedule my volunteering around my work schedule, not the other way around.

Katherine Bertram 1 year ago

I’ve been working since I was ten. I have two college degrees I earned while working five part time jobs putting myself through college. I also understand household economics. A job that requires me to sacrifice all of my time with my kids isn’t worth it for “pocket money”

Anna Perng 1 year ago

Thank you to the SAHMs returning to work for responding so eloquently. I find the entrepreneur’s attitude here troubling: She assumes that the applicant who answers honestly about her availability to do the hours isn’t trying hard enough to re-organize her family’s childcare needs and family obligations. It takes a village to raise children (or care for aging parents) and for some women, they don’t have that village. They don’t have access to quality, affordable or even free/family-provided childcare to then go make $10 an hour. So to those saying, “Either you want the job or you don’t,” I respond with, “Either you want the experienced candidate or you don’t.” Employers are losing talented employees because they treat moms as burdens. Work-life balance which is beneficial to all, not just to moms.

JoAnne Dietrich 1 year ago

Mary and Hannah, I agree with your ladies. Some of these moms don’t understand how the real world works. There are plenty of people looking for jobs. If you come to a job with a list of demands, don’t be angry if you don’t get the job.

Rhonda Barcomb Kovar 1 year ago

I used to do ALOT of hiring at my job before becoming a SAHM four years ago. I interviewed (and did not hire) plenty of people (many who were not moms) who had schedule demands like this. So I get not hiring someone whose schedule is inflexible. But this article sorta irritates me because it implies that moms are the ONLY applicants who would have special scheduling requests and that’s just not the case. And it plants the idea in peoples’ heads and furthers the stereotype that moms (stay-at-home-moms specifically) are not worth hiring.

Kate Rademaker Webster 1 year ago

Dang! I need to work with you!

Amy Morris Cowley 1 year ago

I may be biased but the Network marketing company I am a part of is very impressive… And I am a huge skeptic. I would love to share more if anyone is interested!

Erin Hetherington 1 year ago

What does this story have to do with being a parent? The prospective employee’s expectations did not align with the employer’s needs regarding work hours and flexibility. It’s not a good fit, and they should both look elsewhere.

That said, why shouldn’t parents try and find opportunities that fit with their family’s needs and their needs if they can afford to do so? I don’t think parents should be made to feel ashamed of seeking work/life balance.

Desiree Climer 1 year ago

When filling out apps I fill in what I could work and if they interview/ hire than I was right for the job. If they don’t than they need someone more flexible. I let people know right up front what I can work. If they don’t want to hire me because of it I move on. There is nothing wrong with hiring moms it’s a little sad they lump all into one. Yes some moms need certain schedules others don’t but it’s biased to put all moms in the same “inflexible demanding” group

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

An employer cannot ask about marriage or children, but absolutely can ask why you left a previous job. If you left to have children, you don’t have to say that you left to have children, but you should have some idea as to how you will answer as to not give away too much information or lie to them. Just saying, “for personal reasons” may come across as too generic and illusive. I would say something like, I left paid work to pursue other opportunities and then start listing any interests or activities that allowed you to acquire skills that could be beneficial to the job. This is especially important for professional careers–show that despite bring out of work doesn’t mean that you’ve been out of touch. Classes, seminars, conferences, volunteering can all show continued dedication to your field while focusing on raising your children. I stayed home with my oldest for a year and continued to volunteer. I didn’t need to disclose that I only volunteered 1 hour per month, but I was able to list it on my resume. I was also glad to get out of the house and have adult conversation. 😉

Jessica Vacchetto 1 year ago

I hope that everyone who discriminates against mothers would be happy to support them on welfare.

Julie Antczak 1 year ago

Lmao! Hhmmmmm is right!

Keara McNulty Sweet 1 year ago

The fact of the matter is nursing/paramedicine/public service work is the ultimate example of everyone bearing the inconvenience load & helping each other out. If you wanna go to work you’ll expect to chip in a fair amount of crap hours–but a fair amount a ton of Moms/Dads around you are splitting them with you and needs get met. The notion of shared inconvenience can’t be that foreign in other (hell, non-24-hour and M-F only) professions….can it???

Keara McNulty Sweet 1 year ago

Hmmmm. Hmmmmmmmm. Any other registered nurse moms wanna collectively Hmmmnmmmmmm with me here?!

Loraine Guichard-Singh 1 year ago

I lost a job because (and I heard about this later) my one child was taking up too much time because he was often sick. I was told that my position was made redundant and the “other” person in the office would be able to handle my portfolio and hers. Her one child was 8. Her performance appraisals were borderline underperforming and I outperformed each year. It didn’t matter that I worked back every minute plus additional hours (average 20 additional hours a month) overtime (for free). My young family was the “distraction”. I was told this very much by accident later on. I never went back out to work. That was a hard slap in the face for me.

Sumi Lineback 1 year ago

Some people ask for too much, but this still screams to me that even other working mothers are contributing to the continuing discrimination against women with families in the workplace, because you KNOW that this sort of thing goes through the employers head as soon as they get even the slightest whiff that the interviewee is a mother.

Shannon Fleming 1 year ago

Well said.

Susie Hieronymus O’Leary 1 year ago

When I was single, no kids, my requests for days off repeatedly got pushed aside for those with kids, I was the one expected to change my schedule, come in early, work late to cover for someone with kids, it gets to a point where you want to scream that while I don’t have kids, I still have a family, I wasn’t produced by a robot. I missed family get togethers, holidays, had to reschedule doctors appointments, all to accommodate someone else’s family. I’d pick up to cover for little Johnny’s preschool graduation but you won’t give up your regular family game night to cover for me to attend my nieces college graduation? It’s got to go both ways, moms have to be willing to sacrifice too…

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

I have worked at a couple of different places where I traded higher pay elsewhere for a flexible schedule or better hours. Even my job now. I LOVE my job, but I could make probably 40% more working in my field elsewhere, but the schedule would not be conducive to family life. I leave for work after the kids are on the bus. I am home when they get home. I can work evenings from home. I have a longer summer break than they have. Money certainly isn’t everything! :)

Kathea 1 year ago

No. It’s not illegal. What is illegal to use that information to discriminate against someone when hiring. It’s perfectly legal to ask the question though. But most employers don’t want the question touched because of the possibility of lawsuits.

AnnaMae Wilson 1 year ago

if women employers continue to have this attitude and don’t band together with those of us who want more flexible options, the entire system will never change. As moms, we need to ask for what we want or we will never get it…..sigh.

Kristin Haskins 1 year ago

But those demands are silly for a full time job.

Amanda Varney 1 year ago

Its actually none of your employer’s business about your family and private life…I wouldnt even put that on the resume

Elizabeth Grattan 1 year ago

Of course. That’s the point. This has nothing at all to do with her being a mother. It has to do with the hours requested for that specific businesses. But the author set it up as needing to get her work load decreased and that sahm are just not fit to be hired because they demand flexibility. That’s nonsense. If it’s what you say: This employer demands hours most people don’t want.

For someone with a business (depending on industry) operating regular hours and the owner just needs help decreasing the number they work and flexing themselves, this schedule is perfect.

Basically: this flex schedule of 28 hours is a better fit for most businesses than a business that demands nights and weekends.

I’m sure this mom wouldn’t be an awesome fit for a trucking company either.

It has nothing to do with her being a mom and everything to do with the employer’s hours.

Clarissa 1 year ago

I realize this is not an option for everyone but my wish for an extremely flexible schedule is why I chose to quit my job and become a stay at home mom… I couldn’t expect them to accommodate all I wanted to do so as soon as we were financially able I left

A mom 1 year ago

Wow. Just wow. It’s crap like this that feeds the mommy wars. What a complete lack of understanding or sympathy for the other side. I’m in this exact position. I’ve been a SAHM for years but my youngest will be starting Kindergarten in September so I am looking for a “mother’s hours” job. But here’s a thought: I’m not looking for a job because I’m bored, or because I want to feel a connection, or I want to use my brain again. I’m looking for a job because I need a PAYCHECK, not “fun money” to go get my nails done or whatever else crap you think stay-at-home-moms do. We’re drowning in debt. And before you say I shouldn’t have left my job, childcare around here costs the same as I previously made, and that was for one kid, nevermind two. And to the point of “inconveniencing my husband”, well he’s fairly inconvenienced as it is. He’s already works two jobs and is gone from the house for at least 14 hours every day. So yeah, I can’t work weekends, or school vacations, because it’s fairly frowned upon to leave a 5 year old home along with a 7 year old in charge. Oh, no wait, not frowned upon, illegal, that was the word I was looking for. There’s no money for afterschool care, or a nanny, or vacation camps. And for some reason you seem to think I’m surrounded by “in-laws and neighbors” that are willing and able to watch my kids while I work. Um, nope.
Now, all that being said, would I ever apply to a job where clearly my singular presence in critical? No. But I don’t think this type of schedule is a crazy idea for your average supermarket or chain retail store.

Stacie Slone Parker 1 year ago

Yeah you can forget Walmart lol. They tout themselves as family friendly but that’s a joke. Now there are employers out there that understand the needs of parents. I am a parent first. Sometimes though, that does mean sacrificing time with my children in order to provide for them. However, I have worked at places that were more than willing to work for me. Of course, my demands weren’t nearly as bad as those in the article. I didn’t work weekends….or holidays. Beyond that, unless my child was sick, I asked off in advance for other things.

Kristin Haskins 1 year ago

I was referring to the comments not the article.

Stacy Hotaling 1 year ago

I completely agree. However, I would like to know if this woman is hiring for a part-time or full-time position. If it was a part-time position then I do not see her expectations as unrealistic. As a part-time employee you usually have a strict schedule you ahear to. I wouldn’t make all these requests for a full-time job because I would assume the pay would actually pay for the daycare and bills, not just daycare and no pay.

Heather Stratton Williams 1 year ago

Thank you!!

Htsmjjcxhg 1 year ago

Seems like the candidate doesn’t really want a job outside the home.

Leslie E. Schaefer 1 year ago

This is a great gut check for those thinking about re-entering the workforce after being out for so long being a SAHM. It’s what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. Thanks, even though I hate those proverbial 2×4’s.

Angela Smallwood 1 year ago

I don’t understand how it could be a great flex schedule. She essentially wanted bankers hours and retail businesses probably don’t need that. They can find plenty of people who want that schedule. It’s harder to find people to work nights and weekends, thus people that can work nights and weekends are more likely to get hired. Now if it was a doctors office that was only open during the day, I can see how it would work. I think it would depend on the business and what their needs are.

Jen 1 year ago

No….. there have been men that earn less than their counterparts that want to go back into the workforce. If they had those demands as well, the manager wouldn’t hire them either.

Jenny luff 1 year ago

As a sahm for 5 yrs I am looking for weekend work so hubby can do the stay at home and work 24/7 for 2 days but I am unable as they want people to work weekdays too or only hire kids at weekends….. I will keep looking …. Great piece btw. Xx

Marie Radtke Lewis 1 year ago

I was denied a promotion because I am a mom. I was at my employer for 10 years, very loyal and dedicated, however, because I was a mom I was denied the promotion…. I quit that job despite the excellent benefits and retirement pension because “I am a mom”…. They no longer deserved my loyalty and dedication, I would rather give that to my son.

I love this article because it hits the nail on the head for moms when interviewing. I did the exact opposite and was still denied the promotion. I do take comfort in the fact that the person they hired could not do the job and they had to hire a second person to help her 😉

Keri BarkMan 1 year ago

Yes, it is illegal, but the second you open your mouth on the topic of kids or marriage, that becomes fair game for job consideration. Chances are, if an individual even alludes to these during an interview, the hiring manager will see a red flag. It’s unfortunate but true.

Bethany 1 year ago

I promise you, I do work for a small business. The owner is in the office next door to me. And yes, I know I’m making your point – if your needs don’t fit the business needs, you shouldn’t be working for the business. This is also the point that Judy is making. And yes, my example was a current employee, but she’s also a new employee (only a few months) and I have interviewees who do the same thing. The biggest problems I run into with SAHMs is that they come back and expect the business to run around them, simply because they “have kids”. Sorry ladies, you may have created a person, but you’re not the first one to do that, you’re not the last one to do that, and you’re not the only person in this building who did that.

You’re doing the world a service by raising the next generation, but that doesn’t mean I need to run my business around you.

Dia 1 year ago

Why do all moms think the world revolves around them? Why do I see so many posts about being discriminated against, because their schedules won’t be accommodated?

I don’t have kids. The women I work with that do have kids, they think they should get first dibs at time off around the holidays because they have kids and I don’t. So, I obviously have nothing worth taking time off for, and my life doesn’t have nearly as much meaning as theirs do.

Please. If you need to work to keep your household afloat, you’ll make sacrifices and you won’t be demanding special hours and vacation time. If you don’t “need” to work and you just want something to do, don’t feel slighted when potential employers won’t abide by your schedule. There are plenty of other candidates out there willing to put in normal hours.

Elizabeth Grattan 1 year ago

It’s still a great flex schedule. And depending on the job, could work.

The author sets it up as all sahm and all employers. No job fits every person, sahm or not.

A bakery position could have the exact same scenario with college students wanting a flex for classes or a man who has a second shift somewhere and couldn’t do it.

If she posted the hours needed in the ad, she’d weed out applicants. But that’s not how she spun it. As is, based on her statements, it’s advantageous to hire this woman in many circumstances.

Lianda Jane 1 year ago

Anyway. .. someone needs to show this to our political leaders who seem to think we dont need childcare funding..

Angela Smallwood 1 year ago

Where in the article did it say that it was only a minimum wage job?

Nicole Slaughter 1 year ago

I wish you the best of luck Vicci, but i tried walmart and they would not work with me at all. i am also one of these moms and i have stayed home for the past 8 years. by the time i pay a sitter and put gas in my car to go to work, i figured that i would only be making 2.00 per hour. i just wasn’t worth it for me.

Michelle Tribble 1 year ago

I didn’t complain so I’m not sure how this is relevant to what I wrote but thanks for your input.

Angela Smallwood 1 year ago

The article seemed to suggest that it was a retail bakery. They have to staff based on when they are busiest and that might be in the evenings or on weekends.

Priscilla 1 year ago

Money Talks.

Beth Morgan Wielgat 1 year ago

Sounds like she was applying for a part time job and was just stating what her availability was. Granted, she gave a bit too much detail. I’d like to know that info up front. I see nothing wrong with this candidate….

Crystal Jacob 1 year ago

I personally love this article. If you cant afford daycare or your husband wont help with the kids then maybe its not time for you to re-enter the workforce in a full time position. These companies and your co-workers will be the ones that are covering for you when you cant come in because your kids have a snow day.

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 1 year ago

If you can’t do the job, in it’s entirety, don’t complain when you don’t get hired.

Bethany 1 year ago

Yeah, but mostly you don’t have to ask. Former SAHMs will volunteer it almost immediately. It’s highly irritating as an interviewer, because if you don’t want to hire them, the burden is now on you to prove that you’re skipping them over because of reasons other than their children.

Rose Zadik 1 year ago

I have never been a SAHM, mostly because as a single mom it was never an option, and I work in hi-tech. My solution has always been to put in a 8-9 hour day at the office (so long as my son was in day care), then spend the afternoons with him and continue working from home into the night after he slept, but this is the advantage of having a job that is not location/hour sensitive… So long as you can get the projects in on time, and in high quality. It’s made me extra-efficient though… I think it really depends on the position and what is needed. Obviously, if I worked as a receptionist, or at a store, specific hours would be critical. The main issue should be reasons are irrelevant. A job has demands – if you can meet them – great. If not, simply say “thank you” and move on…

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 1 year ago

I don’t think most people actually read the post. It isn’t against hiring moms. It against hiring mom’s who can’t be depended on for working certain hours. Wanting a job where you only work certain hours a nice and all, but not entirely realistic. Flexibility goes a long way.

Angela Smallwood 1 year ago

I think women who go into interviews and act like the one described in the article might not really want jobs. They might just be “looking” to appease a spouse or something.

Kristin Joseff 1 year ago

I hire moms all the time. In fact, most of my best employees are in this group. It is something to recognize, however, that in most industries, scheduling flexibility is not always an option. (my agency provides care to seniors on THEIR schedules, for example, so it’s not just office work) I don’t actually discriminate against any background, parent or not, but I do have to cut people regularly from my applicant pool due to lack of flexibility in scheduling. It’s not just moms- sometimes it’s students or people who have another job already, and they just don’t line up.

Victoria Vallejos 1 year ago

Melissa she is raising kids of her own and the entire article stated that she thinks moms are hard workers. Lianda Jane, it isn’t discrimination because her choice not to hire is because a person is a mom. Her choice not to hire is because too many come in with very strict scheduling requests and low availability because they want what they want without inconveniencing there own lives.

Her whole article praised moms and the quality of employee they would be if only they were prepared to be a little inconvenienced sometimes. I am a mom of 5. I have been both employee and in charge of hiring staff. She is dead on with her assesment and she in no way was insulting or degrading of moms.

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 1 year ago

It’s simple. If you can’t work the hours the job requires, you probably won’t get hired. Period.

Victoria Haavisto Lindsay 1 year ago

Yeah, she owns a business and is not a part time worker. She set her own boundaries as a business owner and I call bullshit that she pulls the whole ‘work with me’ line when hiring a worker.

Jess 1 year ago

I actually understand where the writer is coming from. It’s not to say that all SAHM are the same and make the same demands, but that it does happen often enough to give an owner/hiring manager pause. I work in HR for a staffing company and have heard these things. I have seen the people that are desperate to go back to work because they’re ready and/or need the income but their expectations are a little skewed. Does that mean we don’t consider former SAHM for positions? Of course not. We have two in our office right now. But it does mean we have to take the “desire” to go back to work with a grain of salt sometimes and brace ourselves for their potential expectations/requests/demands.

Angela Smallwood 1 year ago

and Megan, that is why you have a job because you are reliable.

Noelia Madrigal 1 year ago

This is not discriminating and illegal. You need to hire people that will be there on that shift that they committed to when they were hired. Everyone has a life and it’s hard rearranging everyone’s schedule so you can be there on the first day of school. Now if you asked for the day off a few weeks in advance, I work around that but again I do understand and work with my mom employees but I know it bothers my other employees.

Beth Kramm 1 year ago

It really depends on what kind of job this woman is applying for. If it’s full time then the requested schedule is ridiculous. Having been in the position of hiring workers before, this sounds typical of everyone applying for part time. Part time positions are usually just filling holes around the full time schedule. People looking for part time work are often just looking to fill time in their schedule for some extra money. As an employer I would appreciate someone who was upfront about the schedule they needed so we could work something out or just move on to the next interview. It’s really hard to find quality employees, and I’d rather work with someone’s schedule who is awesome than end up with a 100% available person who is mediocre at their job. It always depends on the persons attitude, but I wouldn’t automatically assume they were self important just for requesting certain hours.

Brianne Crooks 1 year ago

I have 6 children (4 of my own and 2 step). My oldest are both 16 then it goes 10,7,6,2. I am just starting to get back into the work force after 3 years of not working. I had an interview yesterday. Yes it is on me that I said I have 6 kids at home. Yes I did tell them that I could work any day, any hours. I did also tell them that I would like one sat or sun off a week. So that way I could spend time with my school children. I made sure to make it clear that I did not want all weekend every weekend off. I also told them that I would give them notice of when I couldn’t work late because of school stuff also. They told me that if I could come in on Thursday for orientation I was hired. I have worked at jobs before when I put my kids lives on the back burner and let someone else watch them while I worked. I will never do that again. On my days off my kids didn’t want to be with me cause they weren’t used to it, and a lot of times I would get called into work on my days off. When my then 10yr old daughter told me to just let her and her brother live with their baby sitter I knew something had to change. I will never go back to working like that again.

Denise Freeman 1 year ago

It is not illegal if the applicant flat out tells them they can not work the job as listed or hours as described. If a job needs someone there 8-5, then don’t apply if you can only work 9-2. And yes, the writer was probably generalizing, but as a single mom (with no family in my city for childcare) who has always worked full-time, I couldn’t imagine walking into an interview with my own list of time-off expectations.

Leanne Clayton Seewald 1 year ago

I have been explaining in my cover letters for jobs applied to that I have been a stay at home parent for the past two years (since my daughters birth) … Because it explains the two year gap in employment. That does not get me interviews and neither does excluding that info from my cover letter. I’m at a loss as to how to get back in to the work force at this point

Noelia Madrigal 1 year ago

I’m real and on my job posts I even add, you must have a flexible work schedule from 430 am-8pm and can you work a shift between these hours and give them a real schedule to see. On the applications they put flexible and then in person I hear all the restrictions. I understand Bc I am a mother but I was upfront from the beginning and then it’s a waste of time. I don’t ask them if they have kids but the mock schedule is a dead give away or when they say they will need 2 weeks off in the summer, the first day Of school off, etc, it’s hard because I have to get everyone to switch their schedule.

Kate Jack 1 year ago

It’s illegal to be asked about your personal life in an interview as well. :-)

Darcy Riley 1 year ago

As a sahm and some one who use to do the hiring, I never liked hiring any one who came out of the gate with all the “I cants”. It’s all in the delivery. A tip for moms trying to get back in the work force, work out your schedule before hand, tell the interviewer what you can do, where your flexible. The question will be asked if there are any days/time you are completely unavailable. Be honest but don’t go on and on about your families need for you. That’s a given. A positive “I can ” attitude is much more desirable than the “I can’t” or the “I can only if you…”

Sarah OnFire 1 year ago

While I agree with you on a personal level, I only wonder if that’s been here experience as the owner in the restaurant industry. I’m not judging one way or another, I just reason that when working customer service it got to where I got a skewed perspective of my company because I only handled the negative feedback. Does that make sense?

Kate Jack 1 year ago

NEVER say you have kids or a family. Even though it’s illegal for them to ask or not consider you for a position recruiter/employers still take it into consideration. No recruiter should be asking ANYTHING about your personal life. It’s illegal and usually has no bearing on whether or not they can do the job. I am a Mom of two babies under 2 and I travel 2⃣ times a month for work. There is always a balance.

JoAnne Dietrich 1 year ago

There are some stay at home moms like that. I can understand that woman’s frustration. I have worked with women like that. There are plenty of hard working moms,

Nina McCord 1 year ago

Great article! Most employers will work with you, man or women, but when on an interview you may want to be careful about presenting too much personal information and requests right off the bat. As a mom of three, I get it, but I don’t want to discuss all the times you can’t work on your first interview. Sadly, this happens often.

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

I took a part time job fresh out of grad school while my husband was finishing up a temporary job before we could move. I remember the shock when I was told I would not get time off for Christmas. First time since being a kid that I couldn’t see my parents during the holidays. I dealt with it. Had I demanded that time off up front, I never would have gotten the job (and it was a terrific one). I’m surprised that so many people will not even consider changing their family schedule to accommodate work, or ask their spouses to take up some of the slack.

Kim Allport 1 year ago

My boss gives the moms with small children Halloween off. She’s a mom of a young child too. That helps.

Traci Brown Guthrie 1 year ago

Be prepared to be asked to join every MLM sales team EVER! Lol.

Andrea Wald McDonald 1 year ago

Except moms are not a protected class. Women are, but not moms. So while it is wrong and it is discrimination, it is not illegal.

Jeny 1 year ago

First of all, it’s not a new hire you talked about, it’s someone who had been working and now wants to change her schedule because of a change in circumstance. That’s not what we’re talking about here.
And don’t be sorry. If you can’t actually retain what point I was making, I wouldn’t be working for you anyway. The fact you’re in HR tells me you’re not a small business owner, which the author of this article is. You work for a corporation. Even worse, you don’t even know the owner you’re telling people they need to put their children on the backburner for.

Jennifer Easlick Potter 1 year ago

I think it’s unreasonable to make any demands regarding hours/time off until you’ve been offered the job. I certainly wouldn’t say any of those things in an interview. However, I find it insulting that the author lumps all moms looking to get back into the work force into the same category. Also, I think it’s inappropriate for her to say that she’s so committed to her business (that she owns and is obligated to keep going) that she struggles to balance her work life and family life, so that means you should too. Everyone makes choices. If you want to build your business then maybe that means that your kids don’t get home cooked meals every night. If you want to be super mom then you put your family first and your job second. Articles like this make me angry because it just reinforces stereotypes that our mothers and grandmothers fought so hard against. Way to put another nail in the women’s lib/feminism coffin. Let’s lift each other up instead. Women should support other women. I’m a firm believer in that.

Lauryn Weinshank 1 year ago

I actually disagree completely. I am in a situation where I don’t have backups to watch or drive my children and it doesn’t make financial sense to pay someone based in my salary. I am very lucky to a flexible job who understands my situation. I work hard at work and because of that – they are flexible with my hours.

Kim Allport 1 year ago

It may not be allowed to be asked, but if the info is offered then the employer can do what they want with that info.

Andrea Wald McDonald 1 year ago

Perhaps the problem is in the way the job posting is written, because I really can’t imagine anyone making these types of requests in an interview unless the job was specifically billed as “flexible schedule” or something like that. Maybe I have just had better luck with the candidates I have interviewed, though. If they said they were available all days and shifts and then say otherwise, then it is another story, but then you wouldn’t be hiring them because they lied, not because they were a mom.

Mel 1 year ago

An article that proves that women can be overtly sexist when it comes to other women. First off, I became a SAHM when we adopted our two daughters. I did it for four years. When it came time to return to the workforce, I didn’t do it for a little extra cash, or to make sure my brain still worked, or because I was bored. The fact that you belittle SAHM’s with comments and assumptions like those prove you have no notion of a woman’s choices outside of your own. There are plenty of us who have careers to be proud of, and returned to them with the same gusto we had before staying home. There are also plenty of us that manage those careers and our families so that no one is ever eating bean dip for dinner.

Rather than worrying about hiring moms, perhaps the author should invest in a time management course.

Beth Stolte 1 year ago

If a man came in with those same demands, he wouldn’t be hired either.

Traci Brown Guthrie 1 year ago

Technically it’s illegal to not hire someone because they are a mom. But if someone is stupid enough to say all that in an interview about their schedule, sucks to be them.

Regina Dean 1 year ago

I feel like a lot of people didn’t read this article all the way through, If your flat out telling the boss when you are and are not willing to work without any wiggle room whether you are a mother or not they aren’t going to hire you if someone more flexible or willing to compensate is available. The article isn’t saying they discriminate it’s saying don’t tell your boss your setting your own hours and days

Kari 1 year ago

I loved your reply. I think that if we lived in a culture that supported the family unit more (like your company) it would become more of the ‘norm’ and therefore wouldn’t ‘put out’ employers so much. Again, I think this scenario listed above is a little far-fetched and most moms are not demanding like this. An occasional parent-teacher conference, okay. A sick day, okay. A crazy list of expectations on when they want to work as listed above…..I think this above interview is definitely in the minority.

Apple Jackson 1 year ago

I went back to school so that my degree was my most recent history. No one cares about what you did before you went to school (like barista is going to help your new career?) and I have seen several moms transition by getting a new degree or certification or something. It’s not free but it means a higher salary and kids help you write off the tuition and get more scholarships. A woman who can do a degree and parent can work and parent.

Heather MacDougall Molloy 1 year ago

Ewwwww…. as a working mom I find this to be an absurd generalization.

Meg Boomer 1 year ago

Some moms never left the workforce and have scrambled to make a career AND all the demands of being a homemaker and mother. All moms work at being a mom…some of us also hold down a little side gig called a full-time career.

Mary Ittak 1 year ago

I think what some people are missing is the fact that anyone who starts off by telling a potential employer what they (the employee) want before listening to the job requirements will most likely get overlooked–Mom or not. If you are good fit for the job, the employer may be more likely to work with you on the scheduling aspect, but you have to get to that point in the interview first.

Kim Allport 1 year ago

I’m lucky I have a present and involved husband. When my daughter was 8 months old I needed to go back to work. Not back to the office job I had, but something more flexible so we wouldn’t have to get childcare. It’s not glamorous, but thanks to it being unionized, I work at the grocery store part-time and make a decent wage for it. I told them in the interview that I had a baby and toddler at home and that I wanted to just work nights and weekends. I was told that was exactly what they were looking for and hired on the spot. 6.5 years later and I’m still there.

Styles Simpson 1 year ago

People have had kids for years. Mothers have pulled off raising jids by themselves for years, also. If I was the person applying – you bet your sweet ass that as ling as I made enough for a sitter or daycare and my bills were paid – the schedule wouldn’t be an issue. Hubby would be inconvenienced asap.

Andrea Wald McDonald 1 year ago

Then I don’t think they really want the job. And then it is not that you aren’t hiring them because they are moms, but rather because they lied.

Lianda Jane 1 year ago

Wow nothing like generaling and painting everyone with the same brush. You do realize this is discrimination and illegal.

Kim Allport 1 year ago

She’d love to hire me then. I’m the mom that would prefer to work nights and weekends. That way, I have all the PD days, holidays, summer, etc off with my kids and I don’t have to scramble for childcare.

Mellissa YR 1 year ago

Hell, Moms are working there buts off, not by choice, byt because they have too and need all the help they can get, people who assume Moms are are only half hearted employees need to try working and caring for kids and household themselves then lets see if they feel same way

Denise 1 year ago

You tell her! It sounds like blatant sex discrimination to me.

Jamie Benjamin O’Hare 1 year ago

I don’t ever say that I have 4 kids, including one with mild autism, just that I have kids and will need some occasional flexibility.

Shelbi Wolterman Smith 1 year ago

Love you Scary Mommy but have to say this article you posted from this author makes me sad and mad at the same time. What a bad stereotype to perpetuate (and frankly, I see the scenario in the article to be questionable…) For moms trying to go back to work out there, this piece is not making the transition any easier. I know I have a BIG mountain to climb to get back into my career after staying home for almost 10 years with my boys. I think moms are even MORE ready and willing to put in their best after being home. Please don’t assume that they will be silly enough to dictate to their future employers what THEY want. We are not that dense. :(

Stacy Hotaling 1 year ago

This is terrible news. Mothers shouldn’t have to go above and beyond for peanut pay, assuming the woman is hiring someone for minimum wage or close to it. They’ve been out of the workforce for probably quite a few years and deserve a chance for molding/teaching and caring for their children. Child care is through the roof. Let’s kick stay at home moms and dads even more. I understand it’s a business and all but I would try and work around their schedule. If they can only work four hours it’s probably because they have to do the pick up, drop off for school, schedule doctor’s appointments etc. Mothers are already getting harassed about the amount of maternity leave they are allotted, if any. This is just another kick in the face.

Hannah Fabiani 1 year ago

Good advice for me to keep in mind when facing that first interview again. My only need is to actually work evenings but only evenings because that’s when my husband gets home from work and we can’t afford childcare.

Britta Marine 1 year ago

Don’t all employees deserve to be able to demand time for themselves?

Personally, I think college students are the WORST. All of a sudden it’s like, “I just can’t work this week because I have finals.” And then, I, a mom, end up covering the slack.

You say moms are team players? Team players are willing to be flexible.

However, don’t all working Americans deserve to be able to take off a week or two per year to go on vacation?

Yes, I have to work holidays. I happily do. But I shouldn’t have to work ALL holidays.

Work is a means to an end. I work to live, not live to work.

Maia Cartechine 1 year ago

I find it unfair to not hire a mother, we need to support our self and our family just as well as any other! In my opinion parents are more likely to be a better employee than the average single person that goes out to parties, travels, and calls out whenever because they only have themselves to worry about!

Mia Sutton Cantrell 1 year ago

I wouldn’t hire anyone if they came in with this attitude, who does she think she is? Everyone would like school hours but very seldom are you going to get those hours.

K. Nicole 1 year ago

I found this to be an interesting article. Up until about 3 weeks ago, I was a SAHM– not by choice, but because just 6 weeks after having my son, I was laid off from the job that I had. As a single mom, finding another job was a MUST, not a choice. It took over 8 months for me to land another job, and I feel that it was largely because I briefly mentioned in interviews that I had a son. I’m sure many didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t start immediately because I had to find childcare and get my son enrolled. I’m sure many others didn’t like the chance there was that I’d be calling out BECAUSE of lack of childcare during holidays or when my son was sick. And I’m definitely sure many didn’t like the fact that it would probably mean I couldn’t work an infinite number of hours for them or want to work from home from time to time. However, I didn’t let it discourage me nor stop me from mentioning my son in interviews. I figured that if they didn’t want to hire me because I was a mother, it was exactly the kind of place I didn’t want to work anyway. I now work for a great firm and I didn’t have to change industries or the type of work I did– all I needed was an employer who understood and embraced a work-life balance. They didn’t bat an eyelash when I mentioned I had a son during my interview. I now have plenty of responsibilities, great pay, AND a flexible schedule. I’m even able to take time out of each day to pump breast milk and does anyone care? Nope. There are several mothers here that do the same. So, while I’m sure there are employers who “second guess hiring moms”, there are still the ones out there who embrace hiring moms, whether we have a family to take care of or not. If they’re the best for the job and to help your company get to where it needs to be, you’ll hire them and be willing to work with what SHOULD be their #1 priority– their families.

Bethany 1 year ago

And just to be clear, it is 100% okay for you to have a schedule that you want to work and to work that schedule. Your work should fit your life, not the other way around. You’re just not going to be working for me. My schedules are my schedules, and if you can’t fit that, sorry. There are a LOT of qualified people out there that can.

Jessica Clawson 1 year ago

Amen

Ashley Dreisow 1 year ago

Speaking of jobs. Does anyone know of where I can find LEGIT work at home jobs?! Pm me if you do!

Amy Morris Cowley 1 year ago

This is why I joined Rodan+Fields. It will soon allow me to quit my job and work when and where I want and completely around my family! Instead of working my family in around work!

Anne 1 year ago

You’re exactly the kind of woman I despise. What if you did hire a Mom who “worked with you” but one day had to take off because of a medical emergency with her child? Are you going to fire her? Not all Moms have help at home. Our husbands work full time, our families live too far away etc. As for your teens having chips and bean dip for dinner, that’s on them. They’re old enough to make themselves something more for dinner than just that. My 7 year old knows how to make herself a sandwich.

Cindy Rooh 1 year ago

For those SAHM’s that have returned to work, how do you explain the lapse in work history. I’ve been at home for 6 yrs. I have student loans to pay from my masters degree! :-(

Elizabeth Grattan 1 year ago

If your goal is to free up your massive load, the schedule this person offered is actually perfect. It would have been win win for both. Not sure what the author was suggesting by implying it wasn’t. Did she even do the math on this?

She didn’t say she wanted to be paid 3 weeks vacation or on Thursdays or Friday afternoons.

Basically, you get someone who wants to work 28 hours a week all weeks of the year but 3.

That’s not full time, which means a boatload in savings for this employer and a great income for the employee.

It’s a no brainer. You hire this woman.

Sara Petrick 1 year ago

I’m a SAHM, and planning on staying one for a while. However, I agree with Kristin Haskins: the same stereotype isn’t there for fathers (stay at home, or otherwise). Women are expected to be there for family (or pay a sitter) on less pay than men. It’s not good for women, and it’s not good for society.

Also, the USA is one of the only first world countries that don’t have paid maternity leave or guaranteed vacation time. Maybe the US has it wrong.

Megan Marie Fowler 1 year ago

I find it sad the amount of owners/managers that are moms on here that have said they DO NOT hire moms. Like all moms are the same or something, which simply is not true. I think it is rude and judgmental to not hire someone simply because they are a mom. I’m a single mother, working, and going to school. I pretty much have a set schedule, I requested to specific days off a week because those are the days I go to school. I don’t ask for weeks off at a time for vacation or anything like that and I have told my boss that if I am needed on the days that I have off that I will work. I sacrifice so much time with my daughter because I try my hardest not to have my daughter effect my work schedule. I am hard working and I will work with my employer. I don’t like being lumped into this group if high strung moms that people seem to think we all go under. I will do what I need to support my family.

Jessica Nyhoff 1 year ago

I get it. I ended my full time job to be a SAHM for a lot of these reasons. Couldn’t work late or weekends because of the kids & my husband’s hours at his job. And because daycare for two was almost my entire check. I see both sides of it. Obviously employers want reliable employees & moms want to be there for their kids/family. I’m looking to possibly do volunteer work once my kiddos are in school. So I can get out of the house, interact with adults and do some good. On time that fits my life.

Cristine Ann 1 year ago

I call bullshit . I do not believe that moms are demanding that their bosses cater to their schedules

Jme 1 year ago

Great comment!!

Liz@ZenMasterMama 1 year ago

HELL YES! Amen, Mama!

Castle 1 year ago

Very well said Jeny! I agree with you 100%

Angela Hassler Senft 1 year ago

I can’t believe a person would say that in the interview and expect to be hired. When I was looking for part-time job a while back, most places were very upfront about the scheduling needs before I even applied. Mostly nights and weekends, when everyone else is off from their 9-5.

Sharon Perry Lee 1 year ago

I re-entered the work force after being a SAHM for almost 15 years. I took a part-time job as a grocery store cashier. I gradually was promoted to management and learned to do the books. I wasn’t going to go back to work until I knew I was ready to fully commit to the job, schedule, and expectations. Life happens though and things come up. My boss knows I was a SAHM but does have reasonable expectations. I feel lucky to have this balance in my life now.

Linda Sherer-Horton 1 year ago

I’d rather someone be honest and upfront than lie and call in sick. If they are up from then a discussion can happen immediately to see if there are areas of flexibility. Kids matter and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep them an equal priority as work. Some businesses have flexibility while others don’t. At least the mom described is straight forward. I hope the author is equally as honest with them as to why she can’t hire them.

Bethany 1 year ago

Jeny, as someone in HR, I can tell you FOR SURE that moms often make those demands, and not just the ones that are coming back to the workforce for the first time. I have a lady right now who has been working a schedule just fine for months, and yesterday came in and informed us that she’s no longer working nights, weekends, or full-time, because she doesn’t want to (aka her husband got a job again). Never underestimate the demands that clueless employees or interviewees will make!

Christina Martin Medeiros 1 year ago

this article was pointless….

Monica Jo Ptacek 1 year ago

We seriously hear this ALL the time from potential employees, and I’m talking healthcare professionals. “I can’t work any Wednesdays, and my husband golfs on Thursdays, and I need off for every basketball game…” Hello, I worked nights weekends and many 16-20 hr shifts while my kids were tiny and my husband farmed and so also had very long hours. I paid baby-sitters to stay at my house for entire weekends when I worked 12 hr nights and was on-call during the day and my husband was in the field. So I’m now supposed to hire you for a cushy schedule because “you have kids”…

Nicole Van Hoose 1 year ago

If someone was that upfront with their demands, mom or not, I would be hesitant too. You can only be as demanding as you are desirable to get any job, especially in a market where there are fewer desirable jobs than there are workers.

Lizette Alvarado Stradford 1 year ago

and this is exactly why it is hard for ME to find a job…I don’t have anyone who I can rely on for my kids if I am working and I wouldn’t jeopardize my husband’s good job for some low paying part time job…people are so quick to say u can get a job but those people usually have family and/or friends they can rely on if needed…to others it might just seem like an excuse but to me, I just don’t trust anyone with my kids like I know most of u wouldn’t either

Kristin Haskins 1 year ago

What I’m reading in a lot of these comments is that people are off the bat hesitant to hire moms. That’s stereotyping and shameful! I don’t see the same stereotype being thrown around for fathers. What’s even worse is the that many of these comments are from other female bosses. With the majority of families in this country being single mother families this is harmful not only to women but to children as well.

v 1 year ago

I say fuk that. And if you have your own teens then u know how it is. Ps u likely still take at least one vaca a yr and maybe just maybe shldnt have started a business until your kids were ‘conveniently’ out of your house. Just saying. Just bc i have a life and family (like you/ or not) doesnt mean im not worth a compromise here and there. Its not going to break your business.

Gina Wheeler 1 year ago

I wish I could get a schedule like that!!!

Danielle Matthews 1 year ago

I feel guilty and nervous any time I have to ask off for a kids dr appt. I worked 2 months from the NICU when my first was born. No work means no money and no insurance, so I try not to miss too much.

Vicci B. Chuc 1 year ago

I understand where she is coming from, but as a stay-at-home mom hoping to find employment this fall the article is a little concerning for me :/ I need a job the fits the schedule of my children, I am the only parent home during the week, sometimes a week and a half. Everyone I know works full time jobs or lives on the opposite side of the city. I am hoping that someone out there will find it in themselves to work with me because I am always dedicated to my job as well as my personal live.

Jeanie Clements 1 year ago

I don’t find this helpful at all, particularly the title and the overall implication that anyone who had stayed home with their kids has automatically lost the ability to understand workplace demands and dedication. Rather, it seems to be just a perpetuation of shallow stereotypes and generalizations. I know I’ll be a much better employee in the future than I ever was before I was home with my kids. I am completely realistic about the demands of rejoining the workforce and the sacrifice I’d have to make with my family (why I have not yet), and I know far more women like me than like this. It’s sad to see another woman and mother not only believing this is the norm herself, but also giving others another reason to pause when thinking about hiring mothers. Just what we need.

Donna Bourque Ryon 1 year ago

Part of an interview is to ask the potential employer if their expectations are something you can work with. If a schedule can’t work with mine, I would politely decline the position & keep looking for one that works. It needs to be mutually beneficial, people have somehow forgotten that.

Donna Bourque Ryon 1 year ago

Part of an interview is to ask the potential employer if their expectations are something you can work with. If a schedule can’t work with mine, I would politely decline the position & keep looking for one that works. It needs to be mutually beneficial, people have somehow forgotten that.

Betsy Aimee 1 year ago

Not sure if this is a real life scenario or if she just juxtaposed a bunch of examples. But this is why it’s important to encourage our partners to take an equal part in child raising and child care issues. Mom shouldn’t be the only one making adjustments with her employer for this. I know for single moms it’s a whole other topic depending on how involved the fathers are and so maybe this is why some women need more flexibility than others. Just not an issue that can be summarized in one article. I would love to see a response from the other side…

Jen Marques 1 year ago

I’ve been working since I was 15 and I’ve always known at least one co-worker who had demands like that. And I’ve interviewed those women as well. And when you mention that they may have to work on a holiday or some weekends they implode. Or they lie, say they will be fine with that then the first Saturday they are scheduled to work they call in sick. They are out there.

Micah D. R. Bower 1 year ago

I worked with moms at a previous job and it pissed me off how much time they would take off or call in sick for or demand to have. As if the rest of the world doesn’t also have obligations and commitments outside the office. I’m pregnant now and certainly don’t expect any special treatment from corporate America because I’m a mom. Sorry moms…businesses are looking for a mutually beneficial situation and if you can’t offer that, you shouldn’t get the job.

Lucy Aguilar 1 year ago

I have theeee best employer who let’s us leave when for school conferences, gives me 1 day off a month that doesn’t go against vacation time to spend time with kids and even closes early on Halloween so we can all go trick or treating (he’s a dad he knows!) While I understand I work for a very small business and know that most businesses can’t function that way it does wonders for office morale and we all bust our asses off for him

Carly Bonderud 1 year ago

And that’s why I choose NOT to work; I realize that my needs as a mom would inconvenience anyone who hired me, because I am just not as invested in the career world as I am my family. I never have been. I would work for myself, but not for someone else, because I like a flexible schedule.

Mary Burg 1 year ago

This article is bull. I very highly doubt the interviewer actually had someone in her office saying this to her. She was just lumping all mothers into one category and being judgy and hypocritical. I wouldn’t want to work for her . I’ve Been a SAHM for 2 years, and am going back to work next week in a part time capacity in a very well known medical system. I was actually asked by the employer to make my schedule and let them know what was convenient for me.

Becki Rasmussen 1 year ago

As a stay at home mom who’s reentered the workforce several times I can tell you that while you don’t have to say you are a mom or a stay at home mom or any of that…when an employer asks you to explain your lapse in work history there is little one can say…and unfortunately because of this stigma alot of hard working mom’s get a bad rap.

Miriam Blank-Pilgrim 1 year ago

It’s not about the interviewee being a mom, it’s the inflexibility of her schedule which isn’t exclusively a demand of moms seeking employment but others as well

Noelia Madrigal 1 year ago

You hit it right on the nail!!! I go through this all the time hiring people. No you can’t ask them if they have kids but you can ask, what hours are you available and do you have any restrictions that would prevent you from working this shift till 5. And then here comes the problems: I have kids in school and can only work 9-2 ( in their application they said they can work any shift and all days) or I can’t work sat and Sundays so I can spend with my kids. I have 3 small kids too but I would never put so many restrictions on myself if I needed to work. It’s annoying but I try my best to accommodate them if there is an available shift that suits them but 80% of the time, they lie on applications and tell you something else during the interview.

Rachel Clelland-Spitz 1 year ago

If you let on that you have a family during an interview, that is on you. It is illegal for them to ASK but if they figure it out, they’ll find a way around hiring you for certain jobs.

Rachel Leigh 1 year ago

Thank you! I was startled by the number of “that’s why I don’t hire moms”…

Michael Cheri Pitts 1 year ago

I wish I had the flexibility to work like this but I work doubles on weekends and my husband does Monday through Friday. I miss out on all the weekend birthday parties, get togethers etc. I have to support my family though so we do what we have to do

Jeny 1 year ago

Here’s why I won’t work for a woman like you:

While I am a pro at customer service, and give beyond 110% at any job I do. That’s all it is. A job, for extra cash. I’m not working with you. You prove that you expect someone to work FOR you. (And the list of demands is exaggerated, I don’t know of anyone that would demand all of that) You are the owner of a business. You want someone to pick up the slack, while thinking we need the job for validation in my life. I don’t need YOUR validation. Owners with this mindset expect their employees to do the owner’s job, for minimum wage. You hold all those things you mentioned over our head, I wasn’t incomplete before you. I just wanted some extra cash. If I wanted to let my children come second, while eating bean dip for dinner, I wouldn’t have left the work force.
Your complete indignation towards other mothers is a sad representation of what we deal with when trying to make things a little easier on our families financially. Unless I am going to get a cut of the company, don’t expect the same sacrifices you need to make to keep things afloat.

Heather Poole 1 year ago

I think most employers don’t hire Moms in general period. Even if they want to work and willing to work when ever.

Kerri Lynn Warner 1 year ago

I sadly know of plenty of mom applicants and current employees with this same list of demands. At every job I’ve ever had. Their lives are the only ones that matter. No team work at all.

Jennifer Oatman Coelho 1 year ago

I can’t imagine going into an interview stating you need 3 weeks off, etc! Most jobs don’t even give vacation until you have been there a year and then its usually 2 weeks. Then, if you get vacation, its often based on seniority deciding when you can take time off. However, I am self employed and like it that way.

Kari 1 year ago

Although this article was written in good faith, I find it a little insulting. I think this type of ‘going-back-to-work-mom’ encompasses a VERY SMALL percentage of moms out there looking for employment. Although you say good things about us at the end, we’re not as dense as we’re portrayed in the start of the article. No mom, wishing to go back to work (no matter what her reasons are….) would dictate what SHE wants to her potential employer. Get the job, then see how you can work it into something else later. It’s articles like this that make it hard for moms to get BACK to work, FOR REAL. I’ve chosen to stay home with my three kids and am looking to get back to teaching full time now that my youngest is two. (Let’s face it, teachers don’t make big bucks, but they put in A LOT of time and extra time of their own, so the $$ wasn’t worth paying a daycare for my children.) I’ve put in a few resumes and boy, am I going to be climbing a mountain to start all over again! Almost 10 years out of the workforce raising kiddos and I’ve been left in the dust by others in my profession. So please, give us moms a chance and don’t make people think we’re all a bunch of spoiled ladies that want to make our own schedules. Whatever moms you interviewed that were like this CAN NOT be the majority, but an article like this can make an employer think so. :(

Kimberly 1 year ago

Moms who do that are…quite frankly…assholes. I’ve been a stay at home mom since 2008. Frankly, getting a job sounds like a huge chore for me because it is highly unlikely that I would get a job that would cover more than the daycare expenses for my three kids. But even being out of the job market for so long, I wouldn’t even dream of trying to get an employer to hire me around my weird schedule. 9-5? Great! I’d be able to see my kids off to school and be home in time to make dinner. Understanding employers are awesome (because really, I don’t want to miss my kids first day of school) but all that other nonsense?? No way. If I owned a business, or did hiring for a business, that crap wouldn’t fly. I’d rather hire someone way under qualified who can put the time into a job than a mom who wants me to work around her schedule.

Katherine Bertram 1 year ago

I’m sorry, I’m a sahm so obviously my opinion doesn’t matter here, but there is a big difference between being a minimum wage employee and being a business owner. As a minimum wage employee it’s unreasonable to expect my kids to not have me around so I can barely cover the cost of daycare. As a business owner, that’s the sacrifice you made for a chance at having a successful business. If you want to make me co owner of your business, then I’ll absorb an equal amount of sacrifice for an equal amount of success

Amy Shelden 1 year ago

It’s illegal for an interviewer to ask if you have children, FYI.

Selina Smith 1 year ago

I agree. Always hesitant to hire moms. I try my best to work around their needs and their schedules outside of work but at the end of the day I’m running a business. I’m fine with occasional sick call or needing to leave early because of your kids, but I also need you to be reliable. I’m still on mat leave and return to work in December. I’m more than willing to be accommodating to other mom’s needs as long as it’s a two way street.

Keri BarkMan 1 year ago

I don’t know anyone that actually says that in an interview, or even thinks that real jobs work this way. I guess the people are out there, but I can’t imagine someone who wants to enter the workforce, but is so deluded to have these kind of expectations.

Angela Roster 1 year ago

There are a lot of non-parents who show up to interview that way too. Because of their injuries, their own school schedule, etc. We are super flexible at my office, but we don’t like feeling like a colleague thinks their priorities matter more than ours (meaning our own families and plans). I think it shows the colors of a person who isn’t good at multitasking or time organization. I feel like it will be easier to keep doing everything myself than to hire them. I’m totally fine with, “I absolutely must leave by 4 pm on Friday, August X because I have concert tickets.” Or whatever. :) As long as the work is part of the juggling act and not the first ball thrown on the ground.

Michelle Tribble 1 year ago

I’m guessing the person doing the hiring makes more money. You can’t really expect someone to make the same sacrifices you do for less money especially when the job is optional for them

Andrea Wald McDonald 1 year ago

If this is how her interviews are going down, I don’t think she is talking to the right candidates. I have never had or heard of anyone making all these demands during an interview, at least not anyone who actually wanted the job in question. Nor have I been asked to provide that level of flexibility to any employees, moms or not, whom I have hired, until they have proven themselves in the job. Maybe the author just thinks that is what moms want or would ask for, in which case she is likely missing out on some great employees.

Lareina Harris Clark 1 year ago

Either you want a job or you don’t.

Erika @ VACreatively.com 1 year ago

Aaaaannnddd … I just realized you probably weren’t talking about working for you from home, but at your business site. Sorry I misunderstood!

Heather Rotz 1 year ago

So accurate. I worked til 1:am regularly while my children cooked their own dinner. I’m a mom too and I refused to hire one. They all said those exact words. My kids need me too. I wanted to scream at them, you aren’t the only mom in the world you know! My kids need me just as much as yours need you, maybe more since there’s no dad at my house to help take up the slack. I really feel both sides of that article. Thanks.

Miriam White 1 year ago

Excellent points. I have heard this many times in my hiring days. As a mom myself who sometimes works weird and long hours to support my family, while I understand the desire to have a schedule that works around your life, businesses cannot be run that way.

Rose Zadik 1 year ago

That attitude is so non-prevalent that I am not sure what the point of the article is… Most moms I know work harder and more efficiently than most employees. Yes, moms may need a little more flexibility sometimes. but they are willing to give so much in return for that little consideration… I don’t know ANY working moms with such ridiculous demands

Megan Arbster 1 year ago

I never bring up my private life in an interview. That’s inappropriate. O don’t think an employer should move around my schedule unless it’s severely part time work or something. Work means sacrifice, it sucks but it’s true.

Suzi 1 year ago

Jennifer – exactly my thoughts as I read this article. Obviously the wrong candidates for the job! Doesn’t mean you should write off every SAHM out there.

Chrissie Ashworth 1 year ago

I would love to work for and with her!!

Kelly 1 year ago

I stated I was coming back into the workforce after taking two years off to be a mom. I wasn’t stupid enough to state I wanted a schedule that worked for my family. I asked what schedules they offered and said Yes! Agreed, the wrong candidates are being interviewed. I didn’t mention time off or any inconvenience my job would cause. I said my husband gets off early, has a great job and is absolutely is involved.

That just sounds like a horrible interview.

Amie Wolff Logan 1 year ago

Yes! This is the truth. Perfect!

Erika @ VACreatively.com 1 year ago

Judy, thank you for this article. It’s largely “me” (except for the bad parts, LOL). I’m a mom who was quite accomplished in the workforce, had kids, and decided I wanted to work from home. I’ve been blessed to be doing so since 2007. BUT. I would never dream that I’m in the position of making time-off and schedule demands. I work for my clients around the clock, weekends and holidays – whatever it takes to get the job done at or before deadline. Yes, I miss some events and am too busy to volunteer in classrooms but I interact with my kids and husband all day, every day. I’m with you – moms are awesome to work with! But we need to realize how lucky we are to continue earning a paycheck while working a somewhat flexible schedule from home. Thank you for explaining that so well and from a potential employer’s point of view.

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

Yep and the interviewee listed all the reasons I work from home. I want too much flex time for most employers’ schedules.

Jennifer 1 year ago

This is exactly why I don’t mention anything about being a mom or having kids until after I landed a job.

Also, I don’t think you’re interviewing the right candidates.

Most women/moms looking for a job understand that they need to pull 10 hour days. That’s just the way it is nad has been ever since I got my first full time job 20+ years ago. I would NEVER expect an employer to bow to my schedule. Yes, I would like some understanding…maybe I need to attend a teacher conference during my lunch break…but I would either make up the extra time by staying late or coming in early.