How to be the Best Mom Ever

by Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

Stay up way too late playing on the computer so you are nearly comatose when your youngest arises at five o’clock in the morning.

After preparing breakfast and putting on a show, doze off for ten minutes to pathetically attempt to make up for lost sleep.

Out of the corner of your mind, hear children, squealing and giggling. Outside. Where it has just snowed 22 inches.

Realize that it is in fact your children, who last you knew were wearing PJ’s and cannot put on their boots and snowsuits independently.

Peek out the window just in time to see them realize their idea of sneaking out in the snow was, indeed, a very poor one.

Rather than darting to retrieve them, saunter slowly, grateful that this is one lesson that just taught itself.

The end.

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