How to Not Hate Your Partner in a Pandemic


How to Not Hate Your Partner in a Pandemic

by Alison Bucalo
Originally Published: 

In sickness and in health, sure. But what about in lockdown and homeschool? After months of quarantining together, many couples are facing relationship stress and conflict.

If you’re feeling fed up with your relationship and need space, but are still stuck together because of the pandemic, there are some strategies that you get back on track when it comes to sex, money, fights and beyond.

On this session of Live.Work.Thrive, Micaela Birmingham talks with New York Times bestselling author of How to Not Hate Your Husband after Kids Jancee Dunn, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Mel and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Karen Forsthoff.

Whether it’s the sound of your partner chewing that is driving you up the wall or the sound of his or her voice on yet another Zoom meeting or if it’s the messiness or lack of help around the house with the kids, there are some solutions to dealing with it and not exploding into arguments.

A lot of what leads to our fights is how we say things. Instead of saying “You never do the dishes!” Try saying, “Do you think you can handle the dishes tonight?” A lot harder to say no to that! Go ahead and try!

So, what about that old saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder?” Distance would really be helpful right now! Although it might seem impossible when our hobbies and offices are no longer accessible because of Covid, there are ways to create some distance. Schedule some calls or Zooms with friends that don’t include your partner. Exercise by yourself and you know what? Feel free to watch a show on your own! You deserve it. And finally, find something that the two of you can discover together — a class online, for example.

If it feels too overwhelming, it’s never too late to seek out online couples therapy. And of course, if you feel you have reached the end of your relationship, that’s ok too.

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