As young boys and girls, we see a lot of rescuing in movies and television. Men come in and save the woman in distress and all is well. Then, we spend the rest of our lives realizing that’s not the way a relationship works and we have to undo all the unrealistic visions we had in our head.
The dialogue has changed quite a bit since Disney made us believe women needed to be rescued, or at the very least, helped out quite a bit. Now we see a lot of messages out there about saving your own damn self, and the fact that no one is going to be responsible for our happiness.
We can agree with all that but still want a certain standard in our relationship. No, our partner doesn’t have to come in on his horse and take care of everything. Nor do we expect them to be perfect at all times and be mind readers so they can meet our every need before we even know what it is.
However, I’ve seen many women settle (myself included) for a lot less than they want and deserve simply because they believe their current partner, or an ex, is as good as it’s going to get for them. It’s time to put some respect into the fact that it takes two people who want to work at it. The woman should not be doing all the emotional lifting in order to make a relationship work. And as far as over-functioning to make sure your partner is happy all the time? That’s an idea that needs to die already.
Well, maybe that’s because we need to see more posts like the one PeopleTv aired on Instagram about Hugh Jackman and his relationship with his wife, Deborra-Lee Furness. The couple have been married for 24 years, and he doesn’t attribute it all to luck. Nope. You can tell he treats love as a verb and he never takes her for granted.
I’ve watched this at least a hundred times and there’s so much I love about his honesty.
First, he fully admits that their relationship has never been perfect, saying, “There were some crazy ups, and there were some crazy downs.”
He goes on to say when his career got off the ground, he and Deb were already a force — an established team and they were madly in love.
His words express how now, there’s just nothing that can compare to their bond and love they have for each other and for their kids.
This isn’t the first time Jackman has expressed his love for his wife.
This is how you celebrate your wife on her birthday.
And this post honoring their anniversary? I mean, come on Hugh. Do you have a single brother? Perhaps a distant cousin?
Honestly, we need to see more of this: Men stepping up and saying how amazing their wives are and expressing their love for them. Maybe it will stop normalizing expressions like “the ball and chain” and men complaining about how much their wives nag them. I mean, shit like that certainly doesn’t get you laid any more often, now does it?
When you think about it, this is how you should talk about your partner — yet everyone is in awe over it because it’s so damn rare. Um, how about we change that?
It shows an attainable relationship (that isn’t a fantasy), and is a great example of how you should treat each other whether you are a celebrity or not. This kind of happiness after 24 years together doesn’t lie.
One commenter chimed in with, “Two very hardworking, lucky people. Their relationship isn’t all fairytales, as he said, ups and downs but committed to each other, and committed to their love – awesome.”
Exactly — instead of painting an idyllic picture, Jackman tells it like it is.
And no one can say it better than this woman who commented: “I wish all men were like this.”
Jackman’s posts are so refreshing and inspiring. It’s how everyone should treat the people we love, and hopefully inspires other men not to take their amazing partners for granted.
This article was originally published on