Spoiler Alert: Being A Mom Means Constantly Talking About Poop

by Valerie Williams
Image via Facebook/IMomSoHard

Once you have kids, poop is a topic of daily conversation

Poop. As parents, we live it, we breathe it (ICK), we clean it up — and we never stop talking about it.

Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley, the comedic duo behind the super popular Facebook page IMomSoHard, just released a video about how much poop becomes a part of everyday life once you have kids. And it’s so funny you might forget that gross fact for a few minutes.

“My husband is in denial about the fact that I poop,” says Hensley. Smedley chimes in that her husband knew from the start. “I think I’m one of those gals where you just know it’s part of the equation.”

This is where the devolution begins when it comes to casual poop talk. I remember before we got married when I would sooner end up in the emergency room actually full of shit than poop within half a mile of my husband (then boyfriend.) Now, we have entire conversations while I do my business and neither of us blinks an eye. And that’s just the beginning.

“Before you have kids you don’t want to talk about poop, it doesn’t feel cool to talk about poop. And then literally right after you have kids it becomes the only thing you talk about. You forgot that there was anything taboo there to begin with,” says Smedley.

And holy shit (pun intended) is she right. Who pooped? Who has to poop? Who didn’t poop? Who hasn’t pooped in a week? To parent is to poop talk, there’s just no way around it. And why stop with the kids?

The women discuss how after becoming a parent, you’ll hear a grown adult complain of a stomach ache and think nothing of asking, “Oh, you gotta poop? Did you poop today? Because you’re going to feel better if you poop!”

“Yeah, you’ll say to a coworker like, ‘Hey, did that Thai food we have yesterday give you the shits?’” says Hensley. “They’re horrified, but you’re like, WHAT?”

But when it comes to poop chats, it’s almost all about the kids

“As a mom, I have sat on a toilet while pooping, and I’ve had to fix a toy, I’ve had to get a straw in a juice box, I’ve had to assemble train track. Like, you don’t just get a break to do it.”

Preach. I recently listened to my son’s wish list for his birthday that’s literally not for another 10 months while trying to do a quick poop. And that’s another thing — moms get the briefest of “windows” to do the deed. Smedley estimates hers is about 11 minutes, and is of course in the morning as she’s hauling her kids to school.

But guess who never misses an appointment on the porcelain throne?

“My husband, if you told him he would have to miss his poop window, he would literally start crying,” Smedley quips. YUP. Daddy always gets to crap in peace, exactly when the urge strikes. Oh, and so do kids. Pretty much wherever they feel like it, as Hensley discusses that phase most toddlers go through when they stare you right in the eye, scrunching up their faces, clearly taking a dump, but denying it the whole way through.

Bottom line, now that you’re a mom, poop is life and life is poop. The end. But we wouldn’t change it for a thing. OK, a little less poop talk might be nice, but otherwise, all good.