It seems like we all know one nowadays—an influencer. MLMs, diet products, lifestyle bloggers…all of them can kick rocks
Influencers in the wild—they’re everywhere. They’re inescapable. And while making a career out of social media influencing doesn’t necessarily mean anything in relation to the content of your character, it’s just so damn hard to escape people who are living for the ‘gram these days.
The confessional is full of people venting about and hating on influencers—even ones they’re related to! And ones they’re friends with! Because let’s face it, when someone you know crosses over to The Influencer Side, it’s hard not to judge. At least, according to our confessions.
Confessional #25819203“I think influencer culture is a bunch of narcissistic b.s. and overall bad for society.”
Confessional #25817081“I see the videos from super-conservative "influencers" moving into their sororities and such, and though I scoff at them and I know I'll never be them, I'm secretly jealous of them. They seem so happy, and how do they afford all those decorations?!?!?!”
Confessional #25815042“I had to unfollow a girl I used to babysit who at 24 did modeling, AND has an amazing high-power career, AND became an influencer just by talking about her life. It reminded me I am a 35yo broke mess. How pathetic.”
Can we all agree that influencers make us feel bad about ourselves for not having what they have? Decor, cars, clothes, kid gear, houses…the list goes on.
Confessional #25813579“Ex h’s new wife is an “influencer” and has been posting pictures of my kids without my knowledge or permission. Fucking livid and fully plan on making her take them all down. You are not their mother bitch!”
Posting pics of kids that aren’t yours without permission or consent? Bad influencer, BAD!
Confessional #25809437“A bunch of my mom friends think they’re Instagram influencers. It’s annoying as all hell and I’ve stopped interacting with them on there because I’m tired of feeding their ego machines.”
Confessional #25384749“My friend wants the aesthetic of eating breakfast in Paris, wearing designer clothes, taking flower baths, having a posh apt & traveling 1st class like IG influencers. I'm so close to telling her those girls were born into $ or slept their way to wealth.”
Confessional #25178924“What the heck is an influencer? Do people actually want to be influenced by a spoiled, entitled fame whore?”
Raise your hand if you have mom friends who don’t have giant followings or anything, but pose their kids, filter their photos, caption their images, and curate their Instagram grids like they’re getting paid for it?
Yep, I see some hands out there.
Confessional #20589110“I hate the term "influencer". You can dress it up all you want but a corporate shill is a corporate shill.”
Confessional #20579513“Sometimes I wish the apolocolypse would go ahead and happen just so the perfect Instagram “influencers” and their perfect lives would be on the same page as the rest of us.”
Confessional #25835817“Found one of H’s old GF’s on Instagram and not only does he follow her, he’s liked every one of her bikini pictures. I can’t bring it up without sounding insane, so just consider me heartbroken”
Confessional #25832651“Instagram depresses me, they look like the perfect family and I hate it.”
We all succumb to feeling bad about ourselves or our lives or our material belongings because of influencers. But think about it this way: having to make yourself and your life seem so utterly perfect at all times would be so exhausting, wouldn’t it? It would be so draining, keeping up the façade.
Confessional #25819813“Seeing other people’s loving marriages on Instagram make me feel so depressed. I get that what’s portrayed online isn’t always the whole story, but even if their marriages are half as good as they seem, they are still 1000 times better than my situation”
Confessional #25795490“All these perfect instagram houses and moms and families are really starting to get to me. One lady posted about not comparing cuz it leads to satan blah blah blah while posting a picture of her perfect expensive house. Such BS. Im over it!”
If you still want to remain on social media, but the influencers in your life are getting to you, there’s always Martha Stewart. Just head on over to her page because it’s a really nice time. And she won’t make you feel bad about yourself, because she’s MARTHA FREAKING STEWART. No one can touch her. She’s not pretending to be anyone other than who she is, so that’s how she wins.
Confessional #25774798“Watching Martha Stewart raise geese on her personal Instagram lately is bringing me a remarkable amount of comfort.”