How To Deal With An Itchy Uterus

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It’s a question I hear again and again. It is asked by parents everywhere and often extremely hard to answer: how do you know when you are done having kids?

I have found the answer.

Despite the fact that I have three very demanding and energetic girls, my family has never felt complete. With my youngest approaching five and my husband “fixed” years ago, I know logically my child-bearing years are over, but my heart wasn’t all the way there. Luckily, I was able to find the cure-all for an itchy uterus.


The other day I spent some time with one of my nephews. At a couple months old, he is now out of the newborn stage (way too sweet and squishy of a stage to solve my itch) and is now a full-fledged baby. As soon as my sister-in-law came through the door I had that baby in my arms.

He was so sweet and cuddly. I could feel my uterus twitching with each contented sigh and sniff of that sweet baby scent. My girls cuddled around him just adding to the problem.

Just as I was ready to confront my husband and demand he get his snip reversed, I realized my girls were overwhelming this poor kid and were one step away from mauling him like they do our cats.


Then the poor guy puked. I can’t blame him but still…

And he needed to be changed. While his mom scooped him up to clean him up, it reminded me of the fact that, after years of diapers, my girls are finally able to wipe their own butts. I am also only recently recovered from years of random poop smeared on walls, floating in the bath, and I still find the odd streak in cartoon character underwear.

At this point I think the baby started to sense I was turning, so we both agreed it was Grandma’s turn to hold him. It was obvious he was tired and as she began to rock him and he started to fight his sleep it hit me.

Nope. Nope. NOPE.

I can’t do it again. As much as I love my girls and I love babies, I have no desire to fight to get another baby to sleep. The itch in my uterus was cured and the answer was found.

All parents of babies need is a break. They love the chance to have someone else love on their little one so they are able to shower, nap, or even just get a break from the overwhelming task of caring for an infant. As a parent of older kids, all I need is a visit with a baby to see just how happy I am to have older kids to love on and enjoy.

And if my uterus starts acting up again, I know it’s time to offer up my time to a parent in need of a break.