Are you afraid that the lunches you pack your kids will result in a concerned call from school? Don’t worry, Jason Biggs is doing even worse
We’ve all been there: the school bus is rumbling toward the house, and your kid’s lunchbox is starkly empty. As you think about all of the cute bento box lunch ideas you’ve pinned in Pinterest in the past, here you are in the chaotic present, trying to stuff an unpeeled clementine into one of the adorable tiny compartments, while Googling whether Cheese Whiz is a protein at the same time.
A lot of the time, it feels like we’re isolated in our lunch-packing nightmares. But this week, actor Jason Biggs made us feel like we’re not alone at all. While his wife, fellow actor and lunchbox-packer extraordinaire Jenny Mollen, was away for the week, Biggs Instagrammed the truth of how hard it is to get balanced meals into our little ones.
“With @jennymollen out of town this week, Sid’s lunch duty has fallen to yours truly,” he wrote. “Turns out she’s not the only parent who can #crush the lunchbox game. From top left: Organic half avocado from last night, whole sweet potato (produce code 94074), pb&j on bagel (two bites removed, the way he likes it), burnt gluten-free cookie, and one @splenda packet.”
This is obviously not the actual lunch that Sid got for school — the yam completely prevents anyone from closing the lunchbox’s lid — but it sure did resonate with over 46,000 people who have dealt with the impossible lunchbox dilemma before school five days a week.
What’s more to love about this is the perfect parody it is of Mollen’s social media lunchbox posts, which make less worthy parents want to crawl into a hole — or give their kids money for hot lunch.
“Bringing it hard for Sid‘s first day back to school,” she wrote earlier this month. “(From right: sautéed sesame salmon, rice hearts, avocado vs. yellow pepper battle, coconut sugar dark chocolate and plant protein bites, mini harvest bowl salad w goat cheese, and organic strawberries).”
Yes, “mini harvest bowl salad w goat cheese” is better than anything we’ve eaten for weeks, but a four-year-old gets it in his school lunch Planet Box. We get it.
Here are a few more selections from Mollen’s school lunch box art, in case you want to feel slightly worse about your parenting — this one seems to include a food bear:
And this one involves putting raspberry yogurt into raspberries — no, we don’t have time for that, let alone the patience:
And this school lunch has EDIBLE FLOWERS in it, we might as well just turn our own children over to CPS:
Sure, there’s nary a Splenda packet in Mollen’s school lunches, but that’s okay. We all have our strengths, and maybe we’re just a bit more like Jason Biggs, staring down a raw yam in the morning and wondering whether a Pop-Tart could somehow be classified as a sandwich. More power to the both of them.
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