Back-To-School Is The Invisible Load Super Bowl For Moms

With a month until most schools ring that first bell of the school year, moms everywhere have officially entered their back-to-school era. It’s not as much fun as it used to be, and not just because the Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, Barbie pencil cases, and sparkly new lunch boxes are no longer for us. These days, back-to-school prep feels more like our Super Bowl.

Not in the “Woohoo! Super Bowl!” way football fans prep for it, though. No, back-to-school prep for moms feels a little more like we’re playing every position on the team and cramming an entire season into a month.

We’re the coach who leads with strength and calm, sees five plays ahead, and knows what each person on the field needs to do to move the ball. We’re the QB calling audibles in the tissue aisle when the store is out of cube-shaped Kleenex boxes the night before school starts. We’re the running back sprinting out for that must-have backpack our kid saw three weeks ago (when we didn’t have the money to get it). And we’re the linebackers, absorbing every hit that might otherwise become a fumble.

Training camp starts with roster cuts.

This week, the first box we’ll check off is the annual trying-on of literally all the clothes. Gotta make sure those uniforms still fit! We’ll purge what they’ve grown out of. (And sort into piles of trash, donations, or consignment.) We’ll survey what’s left so we’ll know what we need to buy... and figure out how we’re going to afford it.

Which brings us to the salary cap. Because every team plays under one and, you know, everyone’s is tight right now.

Since our back-to-school game plan also comes into play when buying groceries, we get strategic: a couple boxes of Goldfish crackers one week, some Bobo’s or Uncrustables the next, an extra case of the only juice our 7-year-old will drink. Spread across multiple grocery trips, none of it looks like a big purchase. Still, there’s no denying how different the snack situation looks in September versus June. She can’t exactly take four popsicles to school each day.

Then come the practice reps.

Academic readiness weighs on us, too. Did we do enough of the summer bridge workbook? Does playing that weird number match game on your phone during doctors’ appointments really count as practicing math? How did that “chapter a day” goal really go? Our kid was ready for second grade when she was halfway through first. But now that she’s spent months running ragged in the backyard, is all that knowledge still rattling around up there?

The prep doesn’t end with food, clothes, and brain power, either.

We should also clean the car and practice getting out of her booster seat to help drop-off go smoothly. We should do one thorough bedroom clean-up so she starts the year in a fresh environment. We should squeeze in one more play date with her bestie from first grade before they end up in separate classes and replace each other.

And, speaking of separate classes: time to hop on the school Facebook group and make sure we’re not the only ones still waiting for teacher assignments. Three weeks before school starts is the sweet spot when the stores have the best deals on the required supplies and the best stock of fun extras. But if we still don’t know who our teachers are, we don’t know the supply list. Does she even need that new K-Pop Demon Hunters pencil case? No idea!

It’s that stretch when one team already knows they’re going to the Super Bowl and just has to sit there, waiting on the other conference to tell them who’s coming.

The scouting report is mostly worst-case scenarios.

We can’t forget to factor in all our usual mom-style worries, too.

Will our daughter mesh well with her teacher this year? Will she be embarrassed that we couldn’t swing a summer vacation when the “What I did for summer break” essay comes around? How much longer until we know if that mean kid is in her class again?

And wait, didn’t she write a note to last year’s teacher? Did we ever mail it? And there was a drawing for the much-loved music teacher who got sick and missed the end of last year. Where the hell is that, and what day should we slip it into her backpack?

Also, Dear Sweet Child, now that you have this brand-new lunchbox, can we get rid of the other four we’ve amassed over the years? No? Cool. Guess I’ll add “reorganize the pantry” to the week-one to-do list so that we can have room for every bag and water bottle that has feelings you don’t want to hurt.

Oh, and moms also need to make dinner, do laundry, and clean up around the house. All while still trying to entertain our sooooo boooooored heathens for a few more weeks.

Winning ugly is still winning.

Is this an exciting time, nonetheless? Sure! We’re ready to crush the new year. No notes home for talking in class. Cutest outfit in the pick-up line. The one and only kid with that extra-cool backpack. Three new Junie B. Jones and a Clementine book finished over break and ready to be chatted about with her teacher as soon as possible.

But listen, we know we’re not getting to the first day with a blowout. We’ll win by a field goal, with three bags of clothes to donate in our trunk and a to-do list that is nowhere near finished. That’s fine. It’s all part of what leads up to the “big game”: the first day of school. (Again.)

We’ll keep showing up because, just like the Super Bowl, we only get so many of these.

As the clock ticks down on summer, we know the best play is to drill down on what works best and try to remember to cherish what we can. Hug those babies. Cram the supply list into your purse while you peruse the Barbie aisle at Target for a few more minutes. Let the room stay messy in favor of one more jump into the community pool. Get in the pictures. All of ‘em.

Then, when that back-to-school bell officially rings, hand off homework duty to your partner (THEY CAN HANDLE IT)... and take a well-deserved nap after drop-off.