We Need To Bring Back Hanging Out Without Spending Money
One woman’s viral video is reminding people that being broke isn’t a reason to isolate yourself — or your friends.
“I’d rather see you broke than not see you at all.” That’s the message one woman says we should be reinforcing with our friends right now, and it’s the kind of reminder we could all use (no matter which side of the equation we’re currently on).
In the now-viral reel, creator Kendra Austin (@kendramorous) talks candidly about what it’s like to struggle financially while feeling like you’re letting your friends down or being too ashamed to even let them know you’re struggling.
She admits that for years she seemed like a bad friend because she was “super flaky,” embarrassed to tell anyone that she couldn’t afford to go out. “I was too ashamed and in too much financial depression to admit that the reason I couldn’t go get coffee was because I had negative $25 in my bank account at any given day — and that was a good day.”
But, she emphasizes, “being broke is not a personal failing; it’s a systemic one, and it is not a reason to eliminate yourself from connection and from access to your community.” In fact, this is the time you need community even more.
So, Austin is calling for something simple but so, so important: We can’t let financial depression and shame ruin our friendships.
It’s time to bring back the humble home hang. If you can’t find accessible and free opportunities to see your friends in the city you live in, make ‘em. “We don’t have to go to dinner, we don’t have to get wine, we don’t have to go shopping — let’s go on a walk,” Austin says. “Come over to my house; we’ll share a broke charcuterie of American cheese and Ritz crackers.”
And judging by the comment section, her words are landing with a lot of people:
“We need to bring back chilling in the house.”
“Financial depression is so real. It will make you feel so isolated.”
“We lost the plot. Aesthetics ruined everything.”
“Heavy on come over, watch Netflix, and eat some homemade soup together ❤”
So many people in the comments admitted that they, too, have pulled away when they couldn’t afford the price tag that tends to accompany modern friendship — $10 lattes, $20 cocktails, dinner tabs at trendy new restaurants.
It’s unfortunately way too easy to fall into the comparison trap these days. Our Instagram grids would have us believe everyone is doing well, and maybe then we should be, too? But let’s be real, things are tough out there, and none of us is as alone as we may feel. As one commenter pointed out, “I don’t personally know a single person who is doing well financially right now.”
Somewhere along the line, we started confusing consumption with connection, and that’s just all wrong. “When community truly exists, there is no price to pay,” Austin says. “You do not need to go to a nice 4-course meal in order to have a friendship with me, and we all need to be saying that to the people we love.”
So, yeah, let’s bring back soup nights. And chilling on the couch in our PJs, watching bad reality TV dating shows. Let’s bring back board game nights and playing HORSE on that old basketball goal over the garage.
Because Austin is so very right: None of us need fancy dinners or overpriced cocktails to have a good time. We just need each other.
