How To Make Your Orgasms Last Longer

I fully believe that most women’s sex “issues” are not really issues at all — it’s all misinformation she’s been fed since she was a teenager. Like that every woman can cum just from penetration, and that every woman enjoys oral sex, and that every woman should be ready to go as soon as sex starts.

We all know those things aren’t always true.

When it comes to orgasms specifically, there is so much said and written about a woman’s orgasm that it’s difficult to know what they’re really like. Could your orgasms be better? Could they last longer? Could they happen more frequently?

Yes, yes, and yes, according to experts. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you (or your sexual partner, I guess). It’s all about figuring out your own body and what works for you. And if you want to have your orgasms last longer, whether you’re having one solo or with a partner, experts say it’s totally an option.

And no, it doesn’t require a bunch of fancy toys or supplements or an hours-long sex session. (In this economy?)

How to Make Orgasms Last Longer

It’s important to recognize that everyone’s orgasms are different. And your orgasm can change from time to time based on mood, hormonal levels, the kind of stimulation you’re using, who you’re with, and even your own stress levels, says licensed sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos. “For some, it’s a short and intense experience, while for others, it’s more like a calm and warm wave of pleasure that you ride for a long time.” She also notes that different kinds of orgasms, whether you have one from g-spot stimulation, anal stimulation, or clitoris stimulation, can also feel different from each other.

The length of time you orgasm can also change, and Roos says this can be highly individual as well. She cites research that found an orgasm lasts between 30 and 60 seconds for 40% of women, with some experiencing even longer ones. But again, if yours varies, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. There is so much that can factor into sex and pleasure, and it’s hard to get a perfect case study of how long an orgasm should last. But if you want yours to last a little bit longer, Roos says it is possible.

You’ve got to be reasonable, though.

Roos says you can make your orgasms longer, but not really in terms of minutes, “but rather seconds, and how the orgasm feels.” And to do that, you simply need to get in the bedroom and start playing around with different kinds of stimulation and erogenous zones, as well as changing up some of your techniques.

Foreplay Ideas to Make Orgasms Last Longer

Remember, if you’re enjoying your orgasms just fine, you don’t have to redo the whole playbook. But if you’d like to have them last a little longer, feel a little more intense, or just experience a different type of orgasm, Roos says these may be the techniques for you. At the end of the day, more extended foreplay is always going to be one of the best tricks in the book. “It makes you more sensitive and able to feel pleasure, but also builds up the sexual tension,” she says.

Edging

“Edging, either on your own or with a partner, is an extremely powerful technique that builds up very strong climaxes,” Roos says. “It’s about stopping just before you reach orgasm, taking a pause, and then building up the climax again. Repeat this at least three times!” She says this is easiest to do with an air pulse vibrator, but can also be done with a partner through fingering or oral sex, especially if penetration doesn’t work as well for you.

Sex Toys

"To use a couple's sex toy during penetrative sex is another way for women to reach more pleasurable orgasms," Roos says. "A wand or a slimmed air pulse vibrator is perfect, so use that on your clitoris while the penetration builds up the tension even more!"

Sex Positions

You can also try out certain sex positions to make your orgasms a little stronger and last longer. “I recommend the cowgirl, also called woman on top, but instead of going up and down, go back and forth so your clitoris rubs against the penile root until you orgasm,” Roos says.

Other Ways to Make Your Orgasm Last Longer

You can also try pelvic floor exercises to strengthen those muscles so that when they contract, your orgasm feels stronger. And Roos says to never “underestimate the emotional connection to your partner and yourself during sex.” You can open up better communication around your needs, create an environment that makes you forget about the world around you for a while, and focus on being in the moment and the emotions between you, she says. You may find that trying Tantra or the Kama Sutra is also helpful for this purpose.

So talk to your partner. Try some extra-long foreplay. And remember that some kind of weird porn orgasm that lasts three minutes just from penetrative sex is called a fantasy for a reason — there are plenty of things you can do and try that will give you real fireworks-ready results.