I Have Cellulite & I Wear Cheeky Bathing Suits

The first time I noticed dimples creeping across my ass I was thirteen. I went through puberty earlier than all my friends so not only was I one of the only girls in my class with breasts and hips, I now had cellulite.

My body had changed so fast in a year. I’d grown about five inches and was now spidered with stretch marks and cottage cheese skin. That was the first time I didn’t recognize my body, and I felt a little lost.

I figured if I lost weight my skin would go back to its old texture, smooth and tight. It was the late ‘80s and I grabbed all of my mom’s magazines and read every tip about losing weight. And I did lose weight but not the cellulite.

I kept going and was diagnosed with anorexia. But guess what? The dimples clung to me like glue.

I tried everything to hide them. My drawers were stuffed with control top pantyhose and full coverage bathing suit bottoms. I tried the coffee grounds and all the booty creams and masks that claim to get rid of the orange peel texture. They don’t work, so save your money.

Fast forward to when my oldest son learned to talk. One day while I was getting dressed, and as I walked across the room in my underwear, he asked me why I had shark bites on my butt. Shark bites. If you were looking for a fancy name for cellulite, this is your lucky day. You’re welcome.

I’ll be 50 in a few months and I’m in the best shape of my life. I can run faster than I could in elementary school. I lift heavy weights and can take the stairs faster than I could at 20. My energy is through the roof and my body feels younger than it did when I was in college.

And the cellulite is still with me.

A few years ago I decided to try on a cheeky bathing suit. I was so sure I’d hate it and wonder what the hell I was doing showing the world (okay, just the people at the beach) that I had cellulite because who would do that?

But, I really liked it. In fact, I felt better in that bathing suit bottom than any other one I’d tried on, so I got three of them.

I’m not sure if I finally made peace with my divots or I just gave up on trying to hide that part of me because I was exhausted. I just know that I don’t fucking care anymore.

I don’t care that my skin isn’t smooth on my back side. I like that my ass is soft and giggly and bounces a little when I walk. I love that I have abs yet stuff (I won’t call it junk) in my trunk. My backside is grabbable and happens to be peppered with a few indents. Who cares?

So I will wear my cheeky bathing suit that shows all my marks because I like the way I look in it.

And if anyone disagrees or thinks I should hide my cellulite or dares to say, “She shouldn’t be wearing that” they can kiss my shark-bitten ass.

Katie lives in Maine with her three kids, two ducks, and a goldendoodle. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, at the gym, redecorating her home, or spending too much money online.