The absolutely tired and archaic notion that marriage is some sort of goal for women is more than played out. Yet, for centuries, society has told us that marriage is something women are begging for, tricking men into, going to college for “MRS.” degrees, etc.
Sure, there are women who want to get married. There are women searching this earth for a decent husband. In past year, there were surely millions of women who were trying to get married because society said you were a “spinster” if you were unmarried and of a certain age.
Countless cringe sitcoms (King of Queens, Life According to Jim, Everybody Loves Raymond, etc.) paint the picture of a dopey, overweight, fun-loving husband who has a hot wife (she’s always hot) with a stick up her a**. She’s the buzzkill. She’s the one ruining all the fun. He makes a mess. She cleans it up.
This trope is not only so eye-roll worthy it’s not even funny, but it’s also totally and categorically false.
One TikTok dad is going off on the patriarchal nature of marriage and how although men are always complaining about their ball and chain wives, they are the majority benefactors of the union of marriage.
TikTok user Luis, aka @luisitorio787, responded to a comment left on one of his previous videos, thanking him for being real about marriage and declaring that marriage is not some “trap” that women set. In fact, women are the ones who get trapped.
“The only men who are saying shit like this are men who are trying to create a fake scarcity mindset on marriage benefiting women, but in reality, if you look at the statistics, marriage benefits men more than women, especially mediocre men,” Luis begins.
He then goes in on the irony of men touting this lie that marriage is a trap when in actuality, it’s just another excuse for them to never grow up and be self-sufficent.
“There's a lot of men out there that are looking for women to take care of them. They're man-childs. They're children. They don't know how to cook. They don't know how to iron a shirt. They don't know how to like do a Windsor knot on a tie. They are very, very miseducated and dumb. They don't read. They don't have a career for themselves. They're not financially stable. There's a lot of reasons why men want to get married. And statistics show that men live longer when they're married, but women live less when they're married,” he continued.
He then dives into the “traditional” framework of marriage which is structured around the patriarchy.
“You have been told since you were a child that your value comes from being with a man and having children,” he says, addressing women. “It's a complete patriarchal system. That's why the moment you get married, the first thing that patriarchy does is strip you of your name. And then you absorb the name of the man you are marrying. That alone should be the first signal that you're marrying into a patriarchal structure. The moment they take your name away, you're being stripped by that.”
Luis also notes that there have been several articles coming out about this epidemic of “lonely men.” He would like to add a clarifier to that — lonely, mediocre men.
“They sell you on that bulls**t that marriage is a trap for men, but no woman wants to marry or trap a man into marriage that is a piece of s**t,” he says.
“And ... it never happens ... women are very keen and smart and can smell mediocrity a mile away. Women know when a man isn't worth their time. That's why you see these articles right now out there saying that there is an epidemic of lonely men, which is kind of true, but I would challenge it and say there's an epidemic of lonely mediocre men that no one wants to marry because they have nothing to offer, you know?”
Luis is definitely onto something there.
Research shows that single, child-free women are actually happier. They also live longer.
A study from the University of Michigan shows that having a husband creates an extra seven houts of extra housework a week for women. They found that young single women did the least amount of housework, at about 12 hours a week. Married women in their 60 and 70s did nearly twice that amount, while women with more than three children spent 28 hours a week cleaning, cooking and washing.