If You Think These Cookies Are Gross You Are Dead Wrong

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 
Image via Lofthouse

If you think these cookies are gross you are DEAD WRONG

There is a mystical, magical item in your grocery store’s bakery section that you may or may not have tried. If you have kids, they probably ended up in your house, because they are exactly the type of things kids beg to eat: slightly nondescript and disgusting-looking. Covered in icing and sprinkles.

Yes, I’m talking about Lofthouse cookies.

A debate started on Twitter, between those who realize that these are delicious treats, and the rest of the world. It was started by a woman who apparently hates joy, happiness, and the laughter of small children.

Take several seats, T. You have no idea what you are talking about. These cookies are store-bought wonder, carefully placed in plastic, ready to dispense joy to those who dare to buy them.

Look, I get it. They look disgusting. It’s why it took me years to try them. First of all, they appear raw. Something about the color of that dough just isn’t right; it’s reminiscent of those bake-yourself pizzas, but in cookie form. Second, the frosting to cookie ratio is all off. It’s just fucking globbed on. There’s way too much of it. And the sprinkles are always mashed in and askew.

Whatever. All of those critiques melt away the minute you bite into one. Then another. Then another. Then your kids are crying because you ate all the cookies they begged you to buy. I mean, that may have happened somewhere. To someone. Definitely not in my house.

Image via Maria Guido

Anyway, a couple years ago when this tweet first surfaced, Twitter rose up to defend the sanctity of the Lofthouse Cookie. What did the Lofthouse cookie ever do to deserve such vitriol? I mean, come on.

Then there are those who actually agree with this thief of joy.

Look, everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion.

More cookies for us.

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