How To Use A Love Language For Kids Quiz To Enhance Your Relationship With Your Child

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
Love Language For Kids Quiz
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It’s practically a universal truth at this point: If you don’t know (and live by) your love languages, you’ve at least heard of The Five Love Languages series by Gary Chapman. It’s a resource that is routinely recommended for adults seeking to improve their relationships. And if you’ve had any measure of success in using your love languages to better your connections, you may be wondering if you could apply those same principles to your child’s life. Thus bringing you here, in search of a love language for kids quiz. Well, you’re in luck, because love languages can absolutely be useful in improving your relationship with your kids — not to mention their relationships with others.

A note: Children who are preschool age or younger haven’t had time to develop their primary love language. How do you best love them? By loving them a lot, in all the ways! Of course, as a mama, that’s pretty much how you approach loving your kids forever, right? But once your child hits the elementary school years, you can start homing in on their specific needs. Once your kiddo hits around nine years old (this age point can vary from child to child, depending on maturity level and other factors), you can turn to love language for kids quizzes and research to help you raise a well-loved child.

With that said, we pulled together some resources to get you started.

What are the five love languages?

Need a quick refresher? We’ve got your back. At the core of the love languages concept is the knowledge that everyone gives and receives love differently. In learning more about those ways, we can better communicate love to each other. Most people have a primary love language and then a secondary love language or several secondary love languages. These five “languages,” which we’ll visit in more details further below, are:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

What is the most common love language?

According to Chapman, the most popular love language is “words of affirmation.” After he surveyed 10,000 people, he found that:

  • 23 percent chose words of affirmation.
  • 20 percent chose quality time.
  • 20 percent chose acts of service.
  • 19 percent chose physical touch.
  • 18 percent chose to receive gifts.

Do love languages change?

Love languages are a lot like your personality. They may shift or become slightly different over time, but they’re rooted in who you are and stay pretty much the same. You can have more than one love language, but one would be more dominant than the other. For example, acts of service may be your primary love language, while quality time is your secondary one.

What’s an example of a love language for kids quiz?

If you want to casually broach the subject of love languages with your child, the best route may be an old-school, face-to-face, Q and A-style quiz. We put a brief sample quiz together that you can use, but feel free to customize it with questions and/or language that would resonate with your child.

What would you most like for me to say to you?

A. Your hair looks really nice today! B. Would you like me to take you to the hair salon/barbershop? C. Hey, I bought you that new brush set you’ve been wanting. D. Do you want me to put your new brush set away for you? E. Would you like for me to brush your hair for you?

What would you most like for me to say to you?

A. Your birthday is coming up! I’m so impressed with who you are growing up to be. B. Let’s spend the entire day together for your birthday! C. I’ve got a birthday present for you you’re going to be so excited about. D. How about if I clean your room for you during your birthday week? E. Come here and let me give you a great big birthday hug!

What would you most like for me to say to you?

A. You’re so creative — you’d make a wonderful screenwriter or director! B. Let’s go to the movies together. C. I bought tickets to the movies for you and your friends this Friday night. D. I fixed your Roku so you could stream your favorite shows again. E. Would you like me to do your hair, makeup, and outfit like your favorite actor?

What would you most like for me to say to you?

A. You’re so smart; it makes me so proud of you. B. How about we have a lunch-and-library date? C. Surprise! I got you those new books you said you wanted to read. D. I reorganized your bookshelves to make room for your new books. E. Want to give that big brain a rest for a minute and let me give you a scalp massage?

What would you most like for me to say to you?

A. You are such a talented musician! B. I thought we could spend the day exploring all of the local music shops. C. Guess what? I got you a new [keyboard, ukelele, drum set, etc.]. D. I tuned up your [piano, guitar, etc.] for you. E. You’ve been practicing the [piano, guitar, drums, etc.] so hard; give me a high-five!

It’s more meaningful to me when you say…

A. You did a great job! You’re so smart. B. Let’s go to your favorite restaurant. Then we can watch a movie when we get home. C. You’ve earned a special surprise! It’s waiting for you at home. D. I made your favorite dessert. E. You look a little stressed. Give me a hug!

You wake up in the morning, and you’re feeling a little blue. Which one would you like me to say to you?

A. I know you’re feeling a little sad, but today is your day. You can handle whatever life throws your way. B. I’m going to climb into bed with you. We can sit here until you’re ready to get up. C. Here’s my special fuzzy blanket. You can have it. D. I made you breakfast. E. Scoot over. Let’s snuggle.

What do the results mean?

There are entire websites, theories, and schools of thought devoted to exploring what each love language means. But, in a nutshell, here’s how the results of the above quiz questions would break down.

Mostly As — words of affirmation: Kids with this love language thrive with verbal acknowledgments of affection, appreciation, words of encouragement, and praise. You can even text ‘em! These kids feel empowered and uplifted by vocal reinforcement.

Mostly Bs — quality time: Kids with this love language relish hanging out with their parents, siblings, family, and friends. Watching a movie, spending a day as tourists in your own town, decorating their room — they want to do it all together. They prioritize presence.

Mostly Cs — gifts: Kids with this love language crave, well, gifts. You might be thinking, Wait, isn’t this, like, every kid? But here, the word gifts doesn’t just describe things like toys and items of monetary value. It also describes being gifted with meaningful things, like experiences. It really is the thought that counts for kids whose love language is gifts.

Mostly Ds — acts of service: Kids with this love language respond positively when you show your love by doing things to make their life easier. Maybe it’s fixing their favorite food for breakfast, or sewing a patch on their most beloved pair of blue jeans. Their inner mantra: Actions speak louder than words.

Mostly Es — physical touch: Kids with this love language enjoy receiving physical manifestations of affection. In other words, they’re huggers! Snugglers! Hand-holders! (Ah, doesn’t that make your Mama heart happy to hear?) Physical touch, for these kids, is a powerful vehicle for emotional connection.

Are there any other love language for kids quizzes to take?

If you want to tap into your child’s love languages more, you can head over to Dr. Chapman’s website for additional resources — including a quiz for kids age nine through 12.

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