Netflix's 'Marriage Or Mortgage' Is As Addictive As It Is Bonkers

by Madison Vanderberg

Netflix’s newest show “Marriage or Mortgage” is an addicting binge-watch about how millennials can’t have nice things

Netflix’s newest reality show Marriage or Mortgage is about to become your next hair-pulling and existential-crisis-inducing binge. Marriage or Mortgage is a reality series about couples who only have enough money to either have a wedding or put a down-payment on a house. The show is hosted by a realtor and a wedding planner as they entice the couples with dream houses and dream weddings while always firmly reminding them that they can only have one. It’s addictive, bonkers, and low-key depressing, and it’s most certainly going to be your next binge.

It’s addictive because every episode forces you to scream at the TV, “BUY THE HOUSE DON’T WASTE THE MONEY ON A WEDDING YOU DING-A-LINGS!” Basically everyone on Twitter agrees with this take because why throw all your money at a one-day party when you could live inside a house…forever? You tear through the episodes dying to know which option each couple chooses and then internally shame them for making the wrong choice, which is also exactly why I watch House Hunters.

This show is bonkers because it’s like, you know you don’t HAVE to have an #Instagrammable wedding for $35,000, you can like, get married at the courthouse and go to dinner with family afterwards and **gasp** maybe still have money leftover for the house? Also the show’s hosts are sort of competing against each other, dangling weddings and houses in front of the couples like carrots while saying “But you can only have one, muahahah!”

But the show is also sad because Baby Boomers definitely didn’t have to make the choice between a house or a wedding, they just got both! I mean, I could link to a zillion think-pieces on why millennials are financially screwed and cannot afford creature comforts like homes and nice weddings, but I won’t, because like the great millennial avocado toast debate, it’s exhausting. Oh and (spoiler alert) one of the couples who chose the wedding over the house ended up having to downsize their wedding to a backyard shindig because of COVID-19. If they had just done that from the start, they might be living in a house by now!

But there is a third way and hear me out. What about a more sensible show called, “Marriage or Mortgage or Just Like, Rent For A Bit? Maybe?” Netflix, I’ll be waiting for the call.