Now before you go rolling your eyes and passing out the judgment, know that I am not writing this to complain in any way. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I married my husband, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just want to set the record straight about the image people have, and let everyone know that “celebrities” are real people too.
Honestly, my husband is not an A-level celebrity, but he has a long resume and has earned credible recognition in his field of work. People recognize his face and voice on a regular basis. And people would be surprised to know that for the most part, we live a regular, boring life in the suburbs like most of you.
My husband is the simplest, most humble person I have ever met. He prefers a home cooked meal over a fancy restaurant, his favorite place is snuggled up in his own bed, and his favorite thing to do is work out in the garage by himself. The way he sees it he is just a guy with a job that he loves that happens to be in the public eye.
But this is not your typical 9-to-5 job with set hours, benefits and paid vacation time. This is a roller coaster of a career that is completely unpredictable and full of rejection. There is no telling when or where or for how long the next job will be. And there is no way to determine when it will come up. He can get a phone call and have to hop on a plane within the next 24 hours and we just have to go with it. Or there can be no work for months and months at a time.
Fortunately and unfortunately, my husband is away from home a lot. He travels a lot and even when he is working locally the days are very long, often 14+ hours. And he usually doesn’t know what time his call time will be till the day before. He doesn’t get to request certain days off, or to be finished by a certain time, and there are no sick days. When he is working, his schedule is completely dependent on the production schedule and we just have to work with it.
We try really hard to not go more than a couple of weeks without seeing each other. If I can, I will travel to where he is, or he tries to come home for a few days whenever he’s able. But that is not always up to us. We have gone as long as six weeks without seeing each. Productions are all over the country and also international. He could be filming in Canada one week and have to hop on a plane to North Carolina the next, and I’m lucky if he’s able to make it home over the weekend.
From time to time I get to travel with him, which was tons of fun before kids, but not so much since having kids. My first born traveled a ton of places and has been on more planes than most adults, and my youngest already has a stamp on his passport. But having kids in school and activities makes all of us traveling together nearly impossible. And family vacations are usually a last minute, weekend trip.
As his wife, I always have to be prepared and plan for things as if he won’t be here. It can be a challenge to transition from him being home full time to not being here at all for weeks at a time. But not always having him around makes me very aware of how much I appreciate how active he is as a husband and a father when he is home.
With him being gone so much, that means the majority of the day-to-day parenting lands on me, and that can be a little overwhelming at times. It also sometimes means my career has to take a back seat. So when he is away for a long time I have to remind myself that he hates it just as much as I do.
I don’t have maids and nannies helping me around the house. Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning (in my Nicki Minaj voice …I couldn’t help myself). The way our house functions is pretty normal. There is always a mess somewhere, you can find unfolded laundry in at least two rooms, and someone is always yelling or crying. When school is in session, I feel like a taxi driver for my kids, and the “witching hour” between dinner and bedtime is usually total chaos.
The thing I like the least is when people judge me because they think they know me. They make certain assumptions about me, my husband, and our lifestyle. These people are usually complete strangers and rarely get under my skin. But with a quick internet search I can find a treasure trove of internet trolls judging my marriage, parenting skills, and life choices.
Are there perks? Yes, of course. For one, my husband gets to make a living and support our family doing something he loves. We live a simple, comfortable life and our children are happy and well adjusted. And although we are mostly homebodies, some of these “Hollywood” events can be quite fun. I love to have a reason to get out of my mom uniform and put on some makeup and something fancy and go somewhere to have adult conversations with “fancy” people.
For the most part, we can go out and about and live a regular, uninterrupted life. However, it’s not uncommon to run into people that recognize him and ask for pictures or an autograph. And I always find it funny how people will try to catch me off to the side and whisper to ask me if he is who they think he is. But once people get past the celebrity and get to know us, they are surprised to find out we are just regular, everyday people.