If you’ve ever rolled your eyes or audibly chortled when reading a dude author’s description of a woman, this trend is for you, friend
With all due respect to men writers out there, we can’t help but notice that when writing about women, they somehow manage to miss the mark when describing women’s, uh, physical attributes. If you’ve ever picked up a new book written by a dude and found yourself audibly laughing, groaning, or straight-up rolling your eyes over the women characters’ “nonchalant” breasts, “vibrating” cleavage, and 45-minute menstrual cycle (LOL), the ‘men write women characters’ trend is officially for you.
Originating in 2019 when book lover Meghan Vondriska launched the ‘Men Writing Women’ Reddit community, inviting fellow bookworms from all over the world to share their hilarious and maddening findings. Vondriska has since started Men Write Women Instagram and Twitter pages, and of course, men doing what men do best, even “woke” ones are still describing women in print in truly baffling ways.
She DOESNT know how to interact with children but she DID just eat a whole pizza.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 28, 2020
It seems like men have caught on to the fact that women really don’t want to be described like they’re straight out of a bizarre male fantasy, but that doesn’t mean things have improved much. As writer Lucy Huber recently mused on Twitter, women characters are still hilariously one-dimensional. “Shes 100% BADASS. Smart? She’s the BRAINS of the operation even though she’s NOT in charge. Superpowers? Got ‘em. Flaws? Yup. She’s slightly clumsy and too HOT and THIN for other women to be friends with her. A past? We didn’t THINK about that,” she joked.
It’s true, she’s not like other girls, with Huber adding, “She DOESNT know how to interact with children but she DID just eat a whole pizza.”
Men writing women characters: She was beautiful but didn’t know it. She was 5’7 and 101 pounds. Her feet were size 3. Her hat size was Infant. She’d never thrown up, even once. Her periods lasted 45 minutes. Her top was see-through.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 17, 2019
To be fair, at least she’s no longer sporting a see-through top with miraculously tiny feet and blink-and-you’ll-miss-them periods. Right… right??!!
Huber’s followers have had fun in the replies crafting their own imaginary literary characters inspired by the works of the woke male writer, sharing instances they’ve seen and making up literary ladies of their own.
Time to bring back an old fav. pic.twitter.com/zqRRLcz2de— Nic Hebert (@NicAyBear) February 18, 2019
She had long, toned tan legs. Perfect 34C breasts over which her honey blonde hair tumbled. She helped me deal with my emotional baggage but had none of her own. She never had cramps and didn't mind if I didn't lift the seat. Oh, and she was a gourmet chef. And nymphomaniac.— Evan (@EvanC68) February 18, 2019
She had long, flowing, beautiful blond hair that never got caught in her mouth or armpits. The sexy, silky full beach waves were completely natural and she never took longer than 5 minutes to get ready because she is so natural.— Maeve the Hun (@themadmaddie) February 18, 2019
Ah yes, doesn’t your perfectly long, flowing hair manage to cover your breasts just so without getting caught in your armpits after waking with a case of the night sweats? Ours too!
She was aristocratic, which means she was thin and boyish, where boyish means athletic in a pristine white tennis skirt, a skirt that floated around her navel as she moved, revealing the perfect hindquarters of a young hart. Boyish because ... no cellulite.— Katie Botkin (@khbotkin) February 18, 2019
For some reason she has no idea she's beautiful ! It's crucial that she's savvy and sharp-witted and uses her sesssuality when needed, but has no concept of how she is objectively attractive!— Sarah Radz (@sarahradz_) October 28, 2020
Maybe there is some sexual trauma in her past that can be shown in an exploitative flashback. Also, she’s not like other girls— she drinks whisky! Like a man!— Michelle Cyca (@michellecyca) October 28, 2020
She was adorably clumsy. She was smart but not intimidating. Her body was perfect but she wanted a “regular guy”. She was successful but willing to give it all up to raise my children with little help from me.— a dawn (@heyseyler1) February 18, 2019
To all our fellow adorably clumsy gals out there who sidle our perfect 34C chests up to the bar for a whiskey — straight up, on the rocks, of course — we salute you. Go forth and prosper with your perky bosoms, tanned and toned legs, and unmistakably perfect demeanor. Your dream man is surely waiting for you on the next page. (RIGHT?!!)