Miss Me With The ‘Lose That Quarantine Weight’ Bullsh*t

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Listen, I’m going to get right into it: the year of 2020 can go down in the books for many of us as being the absolute worst of all the years. For some reason, we thought it was going to be litty titty, our best year yet, and we would finally get a span of 365 days where we’d feel whole, get rid of toxic shit in our lives, and put ourselves first.

None of that happened. Not even a little bit. We didn’t even get the year off the ground before our entire lives were changed and we had to adjust in ways we never thought we would.

As parents, we are teaching our kids and working from home. We are disinfecting everything, masking up, and not able to see loved ones during the holidays. Nothing feels normal or right, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

To say it’s been a struggle is an understatement. To say we all need comfort however we can find it is obvious. And to criticize ourselves for putting on weight during a global pandemic is sickening.

Think about it: we’ve all had a lot taken away from us, and the one thing we’ve been able to do is cook, bake, and eat with our immediate families. We don’t need to punish ourselves for it, and we absolutely don’t need anyone trying to tell us the thing to do to lose the quarantine weight.

Of all the years, this isn’t the time to @ anyone with your crap about losing the fluffiness they’ve put on.

Don’t slide into people’s DMs and try to sell your weight loss supplements.

Keep your fucking MLM bullshit to yourself and don’t use this year as an excuse to build your brand, feed off of anyone feeling bad about their size, and sell more weight loss tea along with all the other fuckery that can dupe people into thinking they need to look a certain way.

There are people who have gained weight in 2020 and literally don’t care.

There are people who have lost weight and feel amazing because they finally had time to exercise and meal plan like they’ve always wanted to.

There are people who have run their first 5k.

There are people who haven’t worked out since March because they don’t want to go to a gym.

And guess what? In the grand scheme of things, none of this shit matters, so long as you are doing what feels right to you.

We have all lost enough this year; weight doesn’t need to be thrown into the mix.

We have all had a lot of comforts taken away from us like job security, seeing our people, sending kids to school full time, and being able to go to a concert or party.

Some have cancelled their wedding or postponed a funeral.

Do we really need to take something else away from ourselves?


What we need to do is not look at a weight loss ad or read a message from someone we went to high school with about a weight loss supplement, and feel less than.

We need to enjoy ourselves. Maybe that looks like making a pie and digging in with a spoon by ourselves after the kids go to bed, or maybe that looks like starting to walk every day.

We need to recognize that we are all managing our stress the best way we can, we are home more, and there are a lot less options out there to keep us occupied. Eating is fun. It’s nostalgic. It’s comforting, and the tastes and smells can take us to places we haven’t been in a long time.

To take a shitty year and be targeted for gaining weight is only doing us a disservice.

Instead, we need to stand tall and realize our bodies are amazing as they are. I mean, look at what they’ve gotten us through. How many times did you think you weren’t going to make it through this year? But look — you’re doing it.

I know for me, the only way I’ve been able to keep my mood up is by baking with my kids. First it was bread, then it was brownies, then it was going out for ice cream every day we could this summer. It fed our souls, and it kept me from going to a bad place many times.

2020 has robbed us of a lot. I’ll be damned if it’s going to rob me of my melty grilled cheese sandwiches and the opportunity to eat a brownie over the sink when I need a pick-me-up. I’m not giving that up for anyone’s weight loss teas that taste like dirt and emptiness … nor am I going to feel like gaining weight during a really fucking stressful time is something to be corrected.