Yes, we deeply identify with this working mom’s explanation of ‘daddy privilege’ and would like to publicly commend her
You know when you go about your normal day hauling your kids around and no one says anything about it? And then when a man goes around with those very same children, they are hailed a superhero by one and all? Yep, there’s a name for that: daddy privilege. And bakery owner Chloe Sexton was ready to give a complete, amazing lecture about it on TikTok after her husband got treated like a Baby Bjorn-wearing saint for doing a weekly errand of hers ONE. SINGLE. TIME.
Her takedown went viral, as it should.
Before you ask, yes, we might have watched this a couple of times while nodding slowly.
“I’ve got a fun little story about ‘daddy privilege,'” she begins, with her six-month-old baby on her hip.
“My husband has a job. I have a business, my husband has a job. Could not make that any clearer, right? Well, my bakery requires that we buy certain wholesale ingredients at this place called Restaurant Depot every week. You’ve seen me do videos of it before where I’m, like, wearing him or was massively pregnant buying 400 pounds of flour and 100 pounds of butter, and that’s a weekly thing. The list goes on and on, like — it’s a lot,” she said.
After this set-up, you might guess what happened next.
“So, last week, on the day I usually do it, my husband had the day off and he decided to go do it for me, but he also had the baby that day. When I tell you, the way that this man was treated like a hero — a hero. Mind you, those same people see me there every single week.”
“I’m strapped up with a baby or seven months pregnant, hauling 100-pound bags at a time of flour in the back of my Subaru. Meanwhile, I’m getting a whole lotta nothing to see here. Just a woman doing woman things, busting her ass. But my husband! My husband wears the baby and he goes to Restaurant Depot for mommy’s business and it’s, Oh my god, look at you! Oh my god, you work so hard!
The response was so off the charts that her husband told her everything when he got home, including that the whole thing made him ashamed of his daddy privileges.
“He said, ‘Honestly, it was a little bit embarrassing.’ Somebody walked past him and said, ‘Oh my god, that’s a whole-ass baby!’ Yeah, it’s his! He’s literally not a hero. He’s just a father, just a parent, doing the same shit I do every week.”
She’s got a million followers on TikTok, and it’s for a reason: she’s hilarious and she posts a lot of giant cookies.
Sexton spoke to BuzzFeed about her about her husband’s “daddy privilege, saying, “I’m lucky to have a husband/life partner that is a self-proclaimed feminist and outright said, ‘Honestly the way they treated me was… embarrassing?’ He was in as much shock about how he was treated as I was: TOTALLY NOT SHOCKED. Being married to a man who doesn’t need to be taught just how deeply unfair the treatment of men vs. women in parenting roles is can be extremely relieving.”
And then she went on a tear again, because we love this woman:
“In my opinion, ‘daddy privilege’ is that subtle upper hand men side-step into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply…being a parent,” she continues. “You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?! It’s all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up.”
Good summary, Chloe. The world would be a better place if we all started recognizing it.