Parenting|

5 Ways Moms Can Stay Warm And Sane During The Winter Captivity Months

by Scary Mommy
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The winter months are full of freezing temperatures and a level of confinement bordering on house arrest that it’s enough to push even the most sane mother to the brink of insanity, questioning if sunlight and warmth will ever return. Yes, the toys may have gone nuclear in the living room, and yes, it may have taken you 45 minutes to put on snowsuits for exactly two minutes of snow play, but it is possible to warm up (and stay sane) this winter, and here’s how you can do it.

1. Start a Fire, Using Your Children’s Artwork as Kindling

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Nothing burns so bright and extra toasty as a fire set with your children’s drawings. Don’t let the mom guilt get to you — an avalanche of the stuff will probably be delivered before the last ember fades.

2. Make That Mountain of Laundry Work for You by Hiding in It

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Forget the closet or the bathroom, the best warm place for you to hide during winter is where no one will look: your gargantuan pile of laundry. I don’t know what’s going on in your house, but in mine I could dive right in and be gone for days. Acknowledging dirty clothes and doing something about it is a form of kryptonite to my family, so I call this the magic of not tidying up.

3. Heat Up Taco Tuesday Because If It’s Not Broken You Don’t Have to Fix It

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Already the best day of the week, you can take Taco Tuesday to the next level by heating up Old El Paso Taco Shells in the oven — meaning you can load ‘em up with guac, pico, lettuce, shredded cheese, and a generous heap of sour cream without breakage.

4. Schedule a Hot Shower Like You’ve Got a Date With Yourself

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Is there anything more sacred than a hot shower? I’d argue no, nothing. It’s practically mythological for you at this point. You spritz and dash, maybe dry shampoo and go. Messy bun up and run. But the hot shower will give you life. Schedule it. Bask in its glory.

5. Get Your Cardio in With a Good Rage Cleaning

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Nothing gets the heart rate up and the indoor temperature set to inferno quite like a spiteful rage clean. You know what I’m talking about — there are only so many times you can say whatever you said before the vacuum comes out, the crusted toothpaste is removed from the sink, and the candles are lit. You’re going to show them how it’s done this time! Which, of course, is counterproductive but oh-so satisfying.

Brought to you by Old El Paso, makers of the taco shells that won’t break when you warm them up. Stay warm, mamas. You deserve it.