How To Welcome Your Best Friend To The Trenches Of Motherhood

by Stephanie Bishop
Originally Published: 
motherhood first-time mom baby
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When your best friend is having a baby, be prepared to spend endless amounts of time in the baby aisles, cradling tiny baby clothes and diapers and wondering how your little one could have possibly fit into those little onesies and booties.

Take heart, for you will become anxious in the waiting—gathering up old toys and mementos to pass on, imagining your children growing up together and becoming best friends too.

When your best friend is having a baby, be prepared for the late night text: “He’s coming,” because we all know those little ones like to wait until the wee hours of morning to make their appearance.

After he shows his tiny face and wrinkly fingers to the world, head to the hospital and patiently wait in line behind grandparents, aunts and sisters for your turn to cuddle that tiny bundle of joy.

Hold him and rock him and whisper promises of being the best “aunt” in the world.

Go home and prepare meals for your friend. Throw together gift baskets, call family, and write her little Mommy notes.

Once she is home for a week, run over with flowers and coffee for Mommy. Take your turn holding the little one, and tell your best friend to shower. She will refuse, but finally give in, because sleepless nights and hot showers have become a commodity.

Pick up her home, run a load of laundry, and make her a snack. Think back to when you were a first-time mommy and how scary and exciting each new moment was. But, also flash back to the fog of no sleep and hunger that stems from not knowing when your last actual meal was.

When your best friend is having a baby, make yourself available. Hold her hand when she thinks she’s doing it all wrong. When her world seems to turn upside down, wrap your arms around her and tell her she’s doing an amazing job. Let her know you’ve been there too.

You will become her well of motherly knowledge. Expect a few phone calls for her to tap into your wisdom—swaddling techniques, medicine dosage, colic remedies, you name it. Think back to all of the questions you needed answered your first time around. And now, somehow you’ve become the expert.

When your best friend is having a baby, tell her this mothering gig is hard, but so worth it. We can all use encouragement, a hand to hold, and sometimes even a voice of reason. Be there for her, and someday she will pass it on. In being a good friend, we are building up our tribe and supporting our fellow mothers in the trenches. And in the trenches of motherhood, we can always use a best friend.

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