The Multiple Personalities of a Tween Girl

The Multiple Personalities of a Tween Girl

I have a tween. A girl – the most savage of all tweenkind. My goal is to survive. Not win, just survive. When she turned 11 I thought, “I will be able to handle this. She’s only ONE little girl.” Now that she’s on the brink of 12, I realize she is not only one little girl. She is actually 7 multiple personalities ranging in age from 3 to 40…

1. The BFF Age: 35-40.
This woman goes with me to get manicures, chats over lattes at Starbucks (always my treat), and goes out of her way to listen to my problems and help in any way possible. The BFF doesn’t come around very often but when she does you can hear the angels singing from above.

2. The Sweetheart Age: 6.
This is the sweetest, dearest little girl you will ever meet. She loves to snuggle and give kisses. She will climb up on the couch next to you on any given night just to tell you how much she loves you. She comes around even less than the BFF.

3. The Devil’s Twin Age: Unknown.
This evil twin usually lurks around my house during late afternoon hours. She looks exactly like the BFF or the Sweetheart but when you speak to her burning acid shoots out of her mouth and does not stop until you flee the room, screaming profanities. Occasionally she rears her ugly head early in the morning so beware.

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4. The Einstein/Miss Independent Age: 11-20.
This girl knows everything and can do everything herself. Everything. The easiest way to identify her is by her language. She only speaks two words, “I know.”

5. The Mature One Age: 18-22.
This is a young woman who knows how to handle herself. She tackles every chore with maturity. She does things without being asked. She engages in conversation with adults in a way that makes you consider admitting you are her parent. Unfortunately, she does not come around very often.

6. The Baby Age: 3-5.
Often confused with the Drama Queen, this child believes every single, itty, bitty, teeny, weeny injury is a near-death experience. She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.

7. The Drama Queen Age: 10-20.
This girl is very similar to the Baby. However, she does not need to be injured to believe the world is ending. She only needs to be breathing. No clean jeans to wear? End of world. Can’t find her hairbrush? End of world. It’s Tuesday and she wants it to be Wednesday? End of world. Please note, the Drama Queen can instantly transform into the Devil’s Twin without any warning or notice.

That is everybody living in my daughter’s body. At least for today. I will be sure to let you know if anyone new moves in when she reaches the ripe old age of 12.

Lord help me.

Related post: 5 Tips For Raising a Tweenaged Daughter

About the writer

Abi blogs about all things creative, her DIY addiction, and random other bits of family life. Laugh along with her at laughingabi.com

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Rebecca 6 days ago

Glad to know I’m not the only one going through this lol, you perfectly described my 12 year old

Stephanie 4 months ago

after I laughed, I had my 11yr old read this. She said she definitely recognized the Einstein personality as well as the personality the comes out right after school. She did want to know where the Crazy Wackadoodle personality is. It’s true these girls can get very very silly.

Lisa 4 months ago

I used to think the same thing….until my girls hit teenage years. When I got out of college and started my first job, my boss’s wife used to work with us part time. I remember her saying that her daughter could be such a bitch. I thought it was horrible. Fast forward 15 years, and I echoed her words. Let’s be honest, we can all be a bitch; as adults we just learn how to manage it better. I don’t wish this on you, but should the personalities arrive, humor, wine, and other mothers of teens may be your only relief. I am glad to say that my girls are now 19 and 21 and we see less and less of these personalities.

Prontip 4 months ago

Tween? Sister it doesn’t end there. My oldest is 16 and it seems like an additional personality shows up every year.

Naomi 4 months ago

I have 3 girls… triplets… And I know I’m in for it. They are 5 and there is already so much drama!

shelli 4 months ago

I too I’m a multi person it is strange to me I have been this way from child hood my voice changes as well as my hand writting I have had doctor’s tell me I will live with this all my life so I study how to manage this when I go out into the publick.I was told that the on set of this was a form of protection I wish you well in your journey

Holly 4 months ago

Thank you so much for this article, I thought mine was just trying to drive everyone in the house crazy!!!! Needed to know other moms were dealing with this “stage” too!

Ruth 4 months ago

Well I might not say THESE words to my boys (14, 12, and 10) but I don’t let them get away with some of the crap they pull either. Never in the heat of the moment but I see absolutely nothing wrong with reminding kids that being schmucky is NOT the best choice in life and that those tatrums are ridiculous and don’t actually get them anywhere, And it’s always done with love and laughs. They’re not that fragile and humour is a gift that will see them through pretty much every phase in life.

Lani 4 months ago

LMAO! I can totally relate! (I am also the mom of a 12 year old.) I can maybe add a few personalities as well!

Your Momma 4 months ago

Hmm. Lattes for a twelve year old. Just can’t begin to imagine why her personality changes. Go figure.

Tracy 4 months ago

I was just asking my husband if he thought all 12 year olds were like my daughter. Apparently yes! God help us.

Devon 4 months ago

I hate to burst your bubble. My 11 year old BOY has every single one of these personalities too! Moms of boys do not always have it easier.

Jane 4 months ago

Awww, you have one of those ‘perfect’ children some of us parents of non- perfect kids hear about from time to time. Congrats, you have won the parent lottery. May your life of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns to continue thru teen, pre-adult and even adult years.

Annie 4 months ago

I used to say that I wish they had something similar to the temperature tape that you could put on their forehead, only it would tell me what age she was at that particular moment! Single mom with two redheaded females 15 months apart. They are now both in college – I survived!

Cathy Sheridan 4 months ago

this is great information about the difficulties of growing up. You don’t know where you belong, who you are or what your interests are. I think the best lesson learned is to never stop loving your daughter! Be there for them and never make them feel like their opinion doesn’t count. Also, each of us know that some day they will have a daughter as well. Empower them!!!

GG 4 months ago

You are so right! We are working on personal responsibility for our emotions here too. I am always telling my kids, your brother/sister can’t MAKE you mad, all they can do is try. You have the choice of getting mad or not, and how you respond to that feeling is your choice too. I also tell them that if they make the choice to respond badly, there is going to be a punishment, extra chores etc. for that choice.

GG 4 months ago

Wow, this is so incredibly accurate. I think I may print this out in chart form so I can keep track of which personality my 11 yo daughter is exhibiting at the moment. Thanks for posting!

ilaria 4 months ago

Love this one but got to say is for boys too. I have two of them one 14 and one 12 years old and they relate in soo many things of this post.

Angie 4 months ago

Must not have kids huh??? It takes a village & sometimes we need to come together to know we are not alone. MBPS is a very serious thing and not at all the same as raising kids.

Pamela @ A Little Glitter 4 months ago

This is was accurate and hilarious! Great job! It sounds exactly like you are talking about my ten year old.

Beth 4 months ago

I have a 12 year old, and this is RIGHT ON TARGET! I laughed out loud reading it. My daughter crawls onto my lap at the end of almost every dinner…. right after she’s spent most of the meal rolling her eyes at everything I say…. or giving me the silent treatment because I dared to contradict something she “knows” better than I do… or she’s spent the whole meal excitedly telling us about what one boy said to another boy about another girl…. or she’s refused to answer even the most basic questions about her day. I haven’t really seen the 35 year old BFF much yet, but on those few occasions that she’s popped out to play, we have such a nice time together. It’s quite the rollercoaster ride… but I do know they come out the other end of it as humans! I have a daughter in college, and she’s successfully made it (most of the way) through!

Christie 4 months ago

I have a 9 year old and you must have been spying because this is her exactly!! I’m just trying to survive too! Not sure winning is an option!

Gemma Pearce 4 months ago

Stumbled across this whilst looking for help for my 5yr girls attitude! So funny and I hate to admit it but seriously so true too!

jaybay 5 months ago

Oh yes, this stereotype applies to my girls! My three daughters display all these characteristics at one time or another and usually several times on the same day. I tell them they can »feel« whatever they want, it’s what they »do« that matters to me. They can feel like hate their sister’s guts, but if they act on that, there’s trouble. Learning to control their moods and tempers is a necessary skill that takes practice, patience, and role modeling. Whether they’re being rude, selfish, and nasty, or loving, kind, and gentle, they hear my feedback about what they’re doing well and what’s in need of improvement. Every day, several times a day, constantly, even when I don’t »feel« like it……..they need correction and appreciation. And then when the day is done, I post on Facebook and (with kidlets blocked) make jokes and sarcastic comments and have a laugh.

Vicki 5 months ago

I raised 3 of siblings; and my brother was SO much easier!! The girls are all grown up now 1 is an RN and the other is a lawyer, but even before everyone had personal computers and cell phones; the MP’s existed!! So to all you Mommy’s living through this now… Stay strong, for this too shall pass…eventually :)

chaanah2014 5 months ago

Oh for goodness sake… I wish my own mother had taken this type of lighthearted approach to the hell that was my teenage-hood. Maybe I wouldn’t have had so many hang-ups as an adult. I have a 19 year old daughter and I can vouch for the fact that it was true of me and it’s true of my precious, beautiful almost adult daughter (who still is prone to her Teen Multiple Personalities). She’s very together and has an awesome sense of humour. So lighten up people and laugh at yourselves and the challenges life throws at you (and teens are challenging – even the “saintly” ones). :-)

vickie 5 months ago

Sooo true. I am one of three girls and am sure these applied to all of us…part of me scared as my three year old already has at least 3 of these personalities. Love this, thank you

Dina Ferreira Stoddard (Klutch Photography) 5 months ago

Bravo, you nailed it. Mine is 9 and can be cray, cray…then completely angelic!

I don’t know if there is enough gin to get me through these years! lol.

Linda 5 months ago

OMG! Is exactly my 11 year old daughter, what can I do?? Make me crazy , please helppp

Amy 5 months ago

Oh so sorry to burst your bubble, but boys are way worse!! Most days I’d love nothing more than to put my know it all, moody, mouthy, miserable, angry, irrational 16yr old son’s head through a brick wall…. I want my sweet little snuggle bug back!!!! Not so certain both of us are going to survive until this stage ends…. Oh so not looking forward to going through this again with my 7th old twins sons. Ugggg

Jess 6 months ago

I have two of these, and occasionally a third ( the best friend) in my house! At 11 and 10 ( exactly 18 months apart and the best friend is 11 but falls right in between). Luckily we have been through this already a few times ( we have 6 and only the oldest is a boy) there is a lot of I don’t want to hear it, go to your room and if you keep it up disney world is cancelled! ( we are TA’s and go twice a year) so far it works, but it helps that they have older siblings!

cherri 6 months ago

Really???????

Angie 6 months ago

OMG! TBH, u rock! Lol! Thanks for sharing what I’ve been trying to put into words for the past year!! Nailed it

melinda 6 months ago

This is amazingly accurate!

Gina 6 months ago

Y’all who keep saying “oh I’m glad I have a boy so I won’t have to deal with this!” are fooling yourselves. My 11-year old son has all these personalities too. Be strong mamas! :)

Nikki 6 months ago

Truer words have never been spoken! I have a 13 year old and 11 year old twins!! I pray daily that we all survive. Although we know that all of these people live in our Tweens bodies, do not, I repeat, DO NOT point it out to them. When you do this, it opens up some sort of worm whole where the drama queen, the Devils twin, and the baby merge into one being that I haven’t been able to define yet. It’s scary! Also, note to self, giggling as a defense makes things worse. Total End of World!!

lemonista 6 months ago

Stage 1 sounds like the worst stage of all. Young kids shouldn’t be your pal and they certainly shouldn’t be giving you advice. Let them be kids.

Aubrey 6 months ago

Ugh. I have twin girls. They will be 10 in July. And every one of those personalities has already appeared in them, except the BFF. Maybe they need another couple of years for that one to develop? And the personalities generally appear in each of them at different times. I’m looking at a rough few years!!!

Sue Parfitt 7 months ago

Ha ha, brilliant! I too have an 11yo daughter and have been shocked and horrified to find the devil’s twin make a couple of appearances recently! Whatever happened to my little angel?!

tina 7 months ago

I hear you on all of the above! This morning before school 11 year old had a 10 min cry fest about the bump in her pony tail. Then walked out the door with a smile and a have a great day all without missing a beat. Was this the same girl?? I feel a long few years coming up! :(

Old Mom 7 months ago

I discovered that the aliens surgically remove a girl’s sense of humor at about puberty. It gets reimplanted about the time her oldest child turns 2. Between puberty and motherhood with said girlchild, just remember, prison is NOT a viable choice. I have 3 adult children and I tell them that the only reason they survived to adulthood is that I didn’t want to go to prison!!! A sense of humor helps (so does unlimited quantities of booze).

Melissa 7 months ago

They should call it tween (terrible worst everyday eager noisy kids) I hate my life now. My 11.5 is at her peak and Im over it help

Whitney 7 months ago

This is so spot on for my daughter who isn’t even a tween yet. It had me laughing so hard from the scary truth of every one that you listed. Then it gave relief knowing I’m not the only one trying to survive. Then I got scared of what will happen when she IS actually a tween. Good luck to you and thanks for a great read when I’ve felt so overwhelmed with this lately!!!

DaisyInfinity 7 months ago

*this is

DaisyInfinity 7 months ago

I just turned 13 recently, and unfortunately his almost completely accurate. Except I’d say the BFF and Sweetheart occur more often than is reputed. :)

Kerri 7 months ago

I have 5 daughters ( & 2 sons ). It is a tough go! Hardest of all, my identical twin girls & a foster daughter the same age as tweens! YIKES! I wonder how I survive! (Plus had set of foster twin boys & the foster dds brother, so a total of 11 kids-6 girls, 5 boys with 1 set of twin girls & 1 set of twin boys). I also fostered another 12 children including a set of infant twin girls & another time a newborn & his sister.

Tiffany Fletcher 7 months ago

I know this was written to be humorous, and I can see where you’re coming from, but I grew up with a mother who had multiple personalities, 14 to be exact, and there was nothing humorous about it. It is a mental illness that society is okay talking about as long as it’s in a humorous setting, but in reality, if most people met someone with real Dissociative Identity Disorder, they would fear them and run the opposite direction. I don’t think we should make fun of things that other people struggle with so traumatically on a daily basis. We wouldn’t make fun of someone with cancer or talk about how your child looks like the next cancer patient because he shaved his head, or other such things. It is important to think sometimes before you speak. Even if it’s humorous to you, you have no idea what it’s really like. I have three daughters and I would never compare them to my mother. Mood swings, yes! I have them too! But a complete and total alter, no, not even close.

Adrienne 7 months ago

Love this!! I have a 15 year old & totally agree. She will be 16 soon and since all those personality traits have doubled at this age…I am a bit scared. Oh, those teenage years!! Now I get what my mom always said about, “wait until you have kids”! LOL !! Hoping my 7 year old son will be a breeze! :)

Tammy 7 months ago

Reading this article made me realize that my six-year-old boy might actually be a tween girl.

KJ 7 months ago

So I’ve had it pretty easy with all three of my kids. I have 2 boys, ages 19 and 17 and one girl, age 15. I don’t get the attitude that I see from so many other teens directed at their parents or other authority figures. I think it’s because even as a child I didn’t really tolerate sulking. If they got into trouble, I told them to accept the punishment and it will go faster, but sulk and fight me on it and it will seem longer…especially if I end up adding to the punishment because of how they act while on punishment. No we’re not the most huggy, feely family…we could work on that…but my kids can talk to me about anything and know that first I’ll try to remember how I felt at their age before I explode….and believe me…that has saved me from exploding many times! But in my household, all three kids not only get along with each other, but actually hang out with each other by choice. It’s not uncommon for me to find my oldest hanging out in his sister’s room watching Anime on her lap top, or the three of them camped front of the tv, playing a video game or even turning off the tv and pulling out the Uno deck or something. It’s all about teaching them that they can’t control the world…but they can control how they react to it! In any circumstance….

Sarah J 7 months ago

I LOVE this!!! I have THREE girls! My twins just turned 10 and my oldest is 11 and I see all 7 of these from each of them!

angela 7 months ago

Im so glad I don’t have a girl. Because all of the things that you said. I completely remember doing all of them. Now I’m 38 and my mom is my best friend. I’ve apologized for the crazy, mean way I was and I am thankful for the 2 boys I have. However my husband keeps saying he wants one. Who know..lol

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somarvelis 7 months ago

You hit the nail on the head. You coukd be talking about my tween 12 yo dd.

Oonagh 8 months ago

My eldest daughter is nearly 10 and we’ve been meeting the multiple personalities of tweenhood for nearly 2 years already. One minute she’s happy and helpful before bursting into tears over being denied a biscuit before dinner. Exhausting as this is, it’s the planning my death under her breath as she’s storms from the room that concerns me more. Scarily my 5 year old daughter is starting to exhibit these mood swings too. And her Death Ray stare is bloody terrifying.

Bam bam 8 months ago

This is hilarious and so on point. U nailed it. I have a 23 yr old daughter and 1, 3,4 and 5 rule her. Occasionally #2 shows up on rare occasions. That the one I like. Sorry ladies it doesn’t end with tween years

Amanda 8 months ago

My husband saw this article on Facebook and sent it to me. I ready through all of the personalities and you are bang on. My daughter goes through so many moods it is crazy, and the crazier part is her friends are the same way. Thank goodness I am not alone :)

Andrea Vogel 8 months ago

I skimmed the article and although cute…its sexist and untrue. You have described some teens. Some people. This fits my sons mood shifts far better than my daughters.

Chrisa 9 months ago

Funny and, as the mom of a daughter, I can relate but as the mom of a child with a serious mental illness, I have to ask if mocking Disassociative Identity Disorder – an actual medical diagnosis – is ok? You wouldn’t describe the way tween girls roll their eyes and flail their arms when they are miffed as palsy-ish, right?

Heather 9 months ago

I have a 12 yr old who will be 13 in six long/short months and yes I’m counting….I live in this range but never knew how to describe it, so thank you for naming it….lol…I can only pray it gets better so out of optimism I’m going to say yes it gets better….sending you sanity and lots of patient prayers….

Ricki MCCoy 9 months ago

I’m so glad you can have a sense of humor through all of this. My daughter is the same with just a few differences. The sense of being able to find some humor in all of the personalities helps I think. And once it’s all over I’m sure it will be even funnier. If it does get over. One comment mentions knowing grown women with all the personalities. My daughter slowly became this way from about four years old and was full blown unpredictable before eight years old, still has all the changes at almost fifteen years of age. The one thing that makes it better, in the last couple years, she is lazier so the personalities don’t come out as often. The one thing that helps is finding the strength to sternly say what you think and walk away, then ignore as much as you can. I know it’s hard since it’s sometimes easier to give in. Hang in there.

Dana Park-Barboza 9 months ago

Lmao. These r so effing true. U will see

Erica-Marie Yu 9 months ago

Haha. Burning acid shoots out of her mouth was my favorite.

Kori 9 months ago

I have 2 girls and honestly they were drama queens. I think the two most memorable moments came when my oldest had just gotten her drivers license and as a mother I was nervous. She was driving one day and I thought she wasn’t going to stop fast enough and would hit the car in front of us. I automatically put my hands up on the windshield the next thing I heard was “YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING!” I looked over to see the lady in the car next to us laughing. Prom Time…Do not mess with their schedules! If you have a drama queen for a daughter make sure you have them at the salon promptly. Make sure that you stay out of the room as they are getting ready and finally agree to everything otherwise you are the worst parent in the world. lol

Anna 9 months ago

EXACTLY what I am experiencing with my tween girl! no truer words have ever been spoken!

Jessica Dyer 9 months ago

This also describes 6 year old boys. I fully prepared for girl drama after the mood swings of my son

Melissa Moore Martinez 9 months ago

Oh yes this is accurate!!

Sandi Michalski 9 months ago

Yikes – I have one too!

Dawn James 9 months ago

Hmm interesting reading indeed. I see hints of each. They joys!!

Victoria Mérida 9 months ago

Mine asked for more makeup than toys for Christmas.

Robbi Dawson Neel 9 months ago

My 8 y/o too! :-(

Livingwithmany 9 months ago

I have a three year old daughter. But I also have a husband with dissociative identity disorder (the current diagnostic name that replaced multiple personality disorder). I have enough personalities to keep track of already, or maybe I will just be an expert by the time my daughter hits the tween years.

I tell myself in all the frustrating and challenging situations, at least dealing with real ternagers cannot possibly be more difficult than my husband’s teen alters. Only time will tell but I’m hoping!

Sarah 9 months ago

I have the tween girl and boy. My girl is going to be 13 in 6 months time. Ughh i KNOWW!! I am dreading it too. The regular form of communication from her is either ignoring me or rolling her eyes. I don’t mind the roll eye thing, she can roll her eyes all she wants as long as she does what she is told. The boys thing is driving me NUTS and her need to do as she wants when she wants is also driving me crazy…however, I am sure that this is only the beginning. My girl is going to be a teen and then I have another girl entering the tween stage and then I have a boy heading to teenage hood….yeah.. I’m insane!

Sherry Rutter 9 months ago

Lol does it ever! Lmao

Christie Wotring-Wilson 9 months ago

Try a tween boy too!

Nandi Pandi 9 months ago

So glad MOST of this scariness is gone with my daughter, though some of it still lingers. Still love her so!

Megan Crick Posey 9 months ago

Oh man, my daughter is 8, and I see bits and pieces of this. I. Am. Terrified.

Kelly Cunningham Krenzke 9 months ago

Amen, sister!!!

Daniela Chiaramonte 9 months ago

Tween boys too. I have 2 – everyone asks if I want I daughter and my reply is I already have two. 😉

Carmia Feldman 9 months ago

So true!!!

Victoria Mérida 9 months ago

My 8 year old is like this.

Mary 9 months ago

My 12 year old haha. My daughter has a fashion diva personality as well. Ughhh

Beatrice Leavens Brown 9 months ago

Perfect. I had 2 in a row. Now I have a 15 year old son, and for the past 2 years, wondering if he would make the next birthday. All I can say, is double it and laugh alot.

Crystal White 9 months ago

Mine is 10 and shows all the symptoms….except when the Demon Twin starts to emerge, I exorcise it. Either with ass beatings or loss of all privileges

Alicia C. Trevino 9 months ago

Yes!!!!! These all hit the mark.

Ruth Ann Reed 9 months ago

I promise all of you that one day that little person that causes such grief now will one day call and say ” I am coming to pick you up and take you to Starbucks, my treat”. Enjoy it, I promise it will happen, but there may still be moments of any or all of these personalities, they are just fewer and farther between.

Megan Poppaw 9 months ago

I love when people give this reply to things like this. Then I shall say to you, why even comment? Just pass it by…

Tracy Hagen-Christenson 9 months ago

My daughter has never ever been “the sweetheart”. Our son is…I’m doubting she ever will be

Barb Stiltner 9 months ago

I have one of these but she is 15

Tracy Hagen-Christenson 9 months ago

Omg, my daughter is 9 too…she’s going to turn me into an alcoholic!

Michelle Lopez Ayala 9 months ago

Lol.

Lynda 9 months ago

I have twin 10 year olds (a boy and a girl) and sometimes Sybil’s (not her real name) brother and I just look at her with our mouths hanging open in shock and amazement. I said it when she was born and it’s turning out to be a prophecy of almost biblical proportions……. Puberty is going to be a MAGICAL time at our house!

Frederick Schroeder 9 months ago

“She’s only ONE little girl”. Isn’t that what the local LEOs said about arresting Trinity at the beginning of the “The Matrix”?

Naomi Sifuentes 9 months ago

In, The Hobbit, a tween is referred to as a person between the ages of 20-33 because of their immaturity. Funny to think that immaturity now starts at around 12.

Kris Middleton Frazier 9 months ago

That’s not just a tween thing, it’s a teenage girl thing!

Pam Schwartz 9 months ago

Mine is still like this at almost 16!

Nicole Adalio Flegal 9 months ago

Yep… My daughter is only 3 of these so far… She’s the BFF, the Baby, and the Drama Queen! She’s almost 10 1/2.

Kerry Bowers 9 months ago

3-time survivor

William 9 months ago

My mom sent this to me and it is totally my 12 year old girl does anyone have any suggestions on things I can do to survive her

Laurie Braslins 9 months ago

mine is 4 and I’m looking forward to any age where I don’t have to carry her tantrumy butt out of public places.

Kathy Carey 9 months ago

I can totally relate and mines only eight!

Lisa Fortin 9 months ago

Ouffff i only have one 9 year old! It us extremely trying at times!

Lisa Fortin 9 months ago

Yup ive seen the same thing lol

Lisa Fortin 9 months ago

Ahhh i think im relating to the hermit! My son what is up with that? All of a sudden he wont leave the house :-/

Ashley Kidd 9 months ago

Let’s hope I don’t end up with 3 then!

Lisa Fortin 9 months ago

Awww thank you for this article! I needed that! I was seriously thinking something wasnt right & that lolllll & im glad im not alone & that she isnt Bipolar or have multiple personalities lol

Shelley Hickman 9 months ago

This is a completely true statement! Lol!

Yvonne Wood Gniewecki 9 months ago

So true!

Katie Armstead 9 months ago

I have 4 girls. My boxing gloves are ready lol.

Rose Tenney 9 months ago

Brace yourselves – 2 of my 3 are still this way at 17 & 15.

Amanda Deane 9 months ago

Absolutely agree

Jennifer Riordan A-Rahim 9 months ago

All I have to say is, this shit is hard!!!!

Susan Shaheen Capon 9 months ago

#3 and #7 live in my house. Same child.

Gail Park 9 months ago

Two of my girls are at this stage, I hate it. One is 12 and worse, that’s the door slamming eye rolling sarcastic text speaking age

Gigi Jeavons 9 months ago

This is brill. I am so not alone lol x

Charlotte Jones 9 months ago

Really wish I hadn’t read this. I have 3 daughters, a 3.5 year old and 2 year old twins. And they are going to hit tween hood about the time I hit the change- should be fun! Dh says he is going to move out.

Sarah Wright 9 months ago

Going through this with twins. Thanks for the laugh!

Lara Gale 9 months ago

Yes that is the multifaceted person that lurks about in my house, along with the hermit hoarder. Now finely tuned at 18. Considered having the priest on speed dial….

Emma Oliver 9 months ago

Ha ha oh yes very familiar ha. She jut had a strop on over the size of the slice of toast I gave her. Told me I need t go to specsavers. .honest !!

Trace O’Higgins 9 months ago

I’m half considering faking my own death and living in the closet for the next 8 years. She turns 10 on Saturday. Lol.

Adrienne Petrovich-Barner 9 months ago

Love this!! So true!!

Cassie Puckridge 9 months ago

Just what I needed to see today! My daughter is 8 and I’ve seen every one of those personalities today.

Sarah Hogan 9 months ago

Too.fricken.true! And mine’s only 10 (and A HALF!!)

Tiffany 9 months ago

You have described my daughters perfectly!

Sondra Milton 9 months ago

Your offense offends me! Just close your eyes and look away… Go find something else to be offended by

Monica McAdams Schmitt 9 months ago

Oh so true!

Jennifer Martin 9 months ago

It lasts into the upper teens too. Although you forgot to add 2 more: the hoarder & the hermit. Lord help us all. 😉

Amy Hubbell Smith 9 months ago

Spot on in describing my newly 12 year old!

Kim Toth 9 months ago

Mine is only 9. I could swear I saw her head spin 360 degrees today.

Anna Halstead 9 months ago

Nailed it!

Rose 9 months ago

Im riding this train with you! ! My “Angel ” is 12 February next year…. someone help me…stop the train i want to get off!!

Michelle Glennon Lobb 9 months ago

This is so my child and she just tuned 13…..brace myself!

Angie Stocker Amundson 9 months ago

I’m a little scared for this… Times 3.

Holly Snowberger Spry 9 months ago

Sounds just like my 12 year old stepdaughter lol! Bless her heart

Linda La Page 9 months ago

So true. Especially #7.

Liz Bowcock 9 months ago

Mine is only nine and has all of these personalities already!

Elizabeth Mayoros 9 months ago

Boys are just as bad when the hormones start kicking in. The difference is, the boys get quiet and will retreat rather then letting their emotions been seen. But the smart-assed comments are quite abundant and they stink much worse than girls

Carolyn Crawford 9 months ago

Living with this girl…

Eva Dafe 9 months ago

lol I have a 11 year old you nailed it to the tee

Vivian Miele 9 months ago

Oh no. I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant with a girl. I already have 3 boys.

Lisa Hobbs 9 months ago

Yes!!!

Chanel DeSimone 9 months ago

Ahhhhh…alllll so true

Stacey Avilla 9 months ago

Um…should I be worried this sounds like my 6 year old? Or is this how they all start out!?

Lindsay Goggan-Jones 9 months ago

I STILL love this post! Tween stepdaughter over here! !

Nicole Kilroy 9 months ago

Soooooooo describes my 12 year old! LOL!

Stephanie Hostettler McElligott 9 months ago

100% accurate.

Trace O’Higgins 9 months ago

I have a daughter I (affectionately? ) call my “nine-ager”. She has every one of those personalities. Except, I think the Devil’s Twin is more like the Devil’s Quintuplets, because I swear there are at least five of them with varying degrees of evilness.

Caleb N Melinda 9 months ago

Nailed it!

Shan 9 months ago

Oh my goodness this is SPOT ON! This is my 11 year old daughter EXACTLY! During the baby phase she actually talks like a baby too…so annoying. I’m curious if your 11 year old is the oldest or where she is in relative to your other kids? Mine is the youngest. My oldest is also a daughter, but I don’t remember experiencing the extremes with her when she was this age. I relished in the hand holding, watching tv with me last night.

Jamie616 9 months ago

I have an 11 year old girl and 3 boys ages 9,7,& 6. When I was younger I always wanted lots of girls. I am very happy to have my daughter, she can be very helpful and I love her to pieces. I am glad I had a girl, but, I am glad I had only 1 girl.

Brandy 9 months ago

My daughter is only 9. In fact, she’s only been 9 for a couple of weeks, but she sounds an awful lot like your 11 year old. I don’t know if I should be hopeful that she might be going through the batshit insane tween transformation early and will, in turn, also end it early or if I should be terrified that it’s going to get crazier than it already is. I think it’s terrified. I’m gonna go with that one.

Kathy 10 months ago

I have TWIN eleven year old girls, and I often get caught in the crossfire between any two of these personalities… Your descriptions are spot on! Thanks for the laugh.

Carolyn 10 months ago

Oh boy my daughter turns 11 at the end of the month!!! :)

Yona 10 months ago

This is all so true my daughter is fastly approaching 13 and the next stage which comes around quite a lot is The whole world is against me stage with an abundance of the sayings I hate you and it’s sooooo not fair!!! Looking forward to the day when my sweet little girl returns to her body please tell me it does happen lol????

Kari 10 months ago

I find this article about tweens funny too, however it only applies to the personality of only one of my girls. I have three girls. I think we, as parents, have to keep in mind that humor like this article is meant to help us see the funnier side of difficult situations, but in no circumstances should we adopt the condescending glib attitude of the humor and treat our kids with a dismissive attitude about how they are feeling. They look to us for guidance because they do not know why they feel the way they do either, whether it’s a boy or a girl. Gender has nothing to do with it. Boys and girls feel things, some more intensely than others. It’s more about personality than gender. Please take the time to listen and not judge the more intense personalities or they will find someone who will and it will not be you. And then it will be too late because that child will remember your indifference the first time it happened.

Jill 10 months ago

I agree w/ AJ…I have a Tween son…12 years old and every morning I wait to see what personality emerged! We actually went to the pediatrician today for a physical so he can run track; my doc said he is in “full blown puberty”, tons of testosterone – hairy, taller, will tear up, some days i’m mom, few times a month I am “mommy” (he usually wants something on those days). But we need to find a support group for Moms of Tween Boys (MOTS) I have enjoyed reading the blog as well as the posts. The replies that are negative – need to chill or maybe laugh! No one is making fun of their children. If anything it appears that these are comments of moms that are very “tuned in”/ adore their child but just trying to get advice as we enter these unchartered areas of our lives!

Alisha 11 months ago

Oh my lord, I have to send this to my mother… and also a bouquet of roses. What a jerk I must have been!

Samantha le roux 11 months ago

This is my daughter to a tee. And it all started at the age of 10 the closer it came to be 11 the more of this has been happening. Now 11 i want to run run away as far as i can. Thought i was the only one. Never knowing how they wake up in the mornings they can change personalities so quickly too. Thanks for this.

Ronald Hunter 11 months ago

These things are why I just LOVE teaching this age group. 35 bodies in a class, and at least 75 different people to deal with. Fun! (If you love a challenge).

Lynsay Mackay 11 months ago

not really, think it’s a tongue in cheek look at how her daughter’s growing up..I’ve one similar age and it made me smile…there’s definitely the odd truth in there :0) x

Lorry 11 months ago

This came at the perfect time for me. My darling daughter is only 8 but this describes her to a T!!!! Especially #4 I hear “I know” more than I hear anything else lately…..well besides crying that is. I thought I was alone in my battle so it is nice, well not nice, but maybe comforting to know that I am NOT alone. For a while I thought maybe there was something legitimately wrong with her…..crying over the silliest things, freaking out one minute and then being the most loving child the next…..I might need to invest in some wine…..I am not normally a wine drinker but lord help me if I have 10 years of this ahead of me I might need to start lol

Thank you again….can’t wait to show this to my other half so he knows that we are NOT alone 😉

Uomni Law 11 months ago

analyzing her kid way to much ..

Cheri L. 11 months ago

I’m going to need this in a pie chart…

Adrianna 11 months ago

My son is the exact same and he’s 13

Tory Michaels 11 months ago

Oh God, kill me now. I’ve got twin 3.5 y/o girls. I’m so screwed given I already have a drama queen among them.

Love your site though. It always makes be laugh and realize I’m not so alone out here.

Sara 11 months ago

Omg, it’s like you can see my thoughts or have been secretly living in my walls. Here’s to all of us battling female tweendom! Cheers, because I need wine to help me through!

Kristin 12 months ago

Oh dear lord.. we are at 8 and we have ALL of the above. And then some. :-)

Dawn 12 months ago

This fits my 12 year old daughter to a T. I cannot believe some of the things she gets upset about, and when I say upset, I mean end of the world upset.

EyeRoll 12 months ago

The two things I dislike the most about this post are

1. Punches down – the daughter is an object of derision and scorn but it’s all supposed to be fun! haha! lighten up! as we all laugh AT this kid. See this is one of the things that “lol get a sense of humor, don’t get your panties in a bunch” type writers (and blog commenters) often fail to get. Who is the object of your joke? If it’s yourself, your own foibles and shortcomings, that’s fine and usually quite funny. When it’s someone else, especially when it’s your own kid, it’s honestly not funny.

2. Encourages parents of toddlers to dread their children growing up and having personalities. How many comments above are like OH NO my 2.5 year old is going to be so freaking terrible. Good gravy, just enjoy your kid as she is today. What a waste of time to project some future awfulness onto her.

You honestly don’t have to tell me not to read this blog if I don’t like it (though I know many of you will feel compelled to do so.) I won’t be clicking through here again.

Kim 12 months ago

This is spot on. Sharing the shit out of it on FB

Chris 12 months ago

SPOT.ON.! I swear you must be living in my house! LOL Only, I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, it doesn’t end with the tween years. My little “Sybil” (my husband’s nickname for her multiple personalities) is 14 and doesn’t show any signs of regainng her sanity!

April BF 12 months ago

I couldn’t agree more about unhelpful and inaccurate stereotypes of girls. I have a step daughter in her early twenties, and an 18 year-old daughter. In both cases, there were rough patches during their teen years. I won’t deny that they resemble the MPD descriptions, but here’s the thing: SO DOES MY SON! Actually, even more so than either girl! He is vain, fickle, and loving. Perhaps it is developmental, not gender- related.

Gay Pierre 12 months ago

Oh that was so funny. You nailed it. Unfortunately I have to warn you that from age 14-18 is no better. But by 18 they settle into 1, 2 & 5. So relief is on the way. Oh they go off to college to practice 3 & 7 on the rest of the world.

tk 12 months ago

My daughter is 9 (almost 10) and I see these already.

Lori 12 months ago

I am so glad to know I am not the only one with a multiple personality tween. Sometimes it is funny. Sometimes not so much !! Thank you for making me laugh and realize it is only a PHASE. For now …..

Kate 12 months ago

I see several drama queens posting about the article. People really need to lighten up. It’s a joke for crying out loud.

Beentheredonethat 12 months ago

They do come back… Usually when they become Moms themselves :) I have said for years that when you give birth you loose your “smarts” You know when your child enters kindergarten the teacher knows everything and you know nothing, then life happens as listed above, But it is so sweet when they become parents themselves because all of a sudden you become very knowledgeable. I live for the days when the phone rings and I hear, Hey Mom, guess what they did or said now! Or this happened and I am so frustrated. Or “Nana my mommy is so mean!” I have to admit I laughed out loud reading the above posts… Brought back so many wonderful, frustrating and funny memories, the good the bad and the ugly and I wouldn’t change a thing!!! Oh, a little advise, My mom gave me and my daughter a journal to communicate back and forth with, you know those times when you can not say a word to your child with out the evil twin showing up, “you are the meanest mom in the whole world”, it was the best thing. My daughter would write “Why do I have to do chores during the summer, it is my vacation from school and school was really hard and you always make me do everything and my sister and brother get away with doing nothing all the time” I would write back to her and explain why and tell her that I love her with my whole heart. Now she is 34 and a Mother of 3! Often we will re-read the book and have a great time laughing about those years… She still will write in the book and leave it in a place that I will find it! Those are the days that make it all worthwhile! Three adult children and 6 beautiful grandchildren! My life has been very blessed! Hang in there MOMS it’s a tough job but also a huge blessing!

Beentheredonethat 12 months ago

They do come back… Usually when they become Moms themselves :) I have said for years that when you give birth you loose your “smarts” You know when your child enters kindergarten the teacher knows everything and you know nothing, then life happens as listed above, But it is so sweet when they become parents themselves because all of a sudden you become very knowledgeable. I live for the days when the phone rings and I hear, Hey Mom, guess what they did or said now! Or this happened and I am so frustrated. I have to admit I laughed out loud reading the above posts… Brought back so many memories, the good the bad and the ugly and I wouldn’t change a thing!!! Oh, a little advise, My mom gave me and my daughter a journal to communicate back and forth with, you know those times when you can not say a word to your child with out the evil twin showing up, “you are the meanest mom in the whole world”, it was the best thing. My daughter would write “Why do I have to do chores during the summer, it is my vacation from school and school was really hard and you always make me do everything and my sister and brother get away with doing nothing all the time” I would write back to her and explain why and tell her that I love her with my whole heart. Now she is 34 and a Mother of 3! Often we will re-read the book and have a great time laughing about those years… She still will write in the book and leave it in a place that I will find it! Those are the days that make it all worthwhile! Hang in there MOMS it’s a tough job but also a huge blessing!

Stacey 12 months ago

Laughed out loud many times-so well said, so spot on!

Arlene Plog 12 months ago

So funny and so true !!! My 12 yr old exactly. Boisterous boys are so much easier.

Judy 12 months ago

Boy drama …. FAR WORSE than girls … boys are bigger gossips, too. I have a son and a daughter and am an advisor to 2 boys youth groups … BOY DRAMA … it’s real.

Wendilynn 12 months ago

This applies to tween boys as well. My 9 year old has become the biggest drama queen. Everything is an over reaction. I hear “I know” and “This is the worst day ever” about every 5 minutes. lol

jc 12 months ago

Made me literally Lol cuz we’re living it right now with our 11yr old daughter. You are spot on!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

Kelly 12 months ago

Yes, I have a 9 year old too. I always ask her who Noah is. Man, does that piss her off.

Cricket 12 months ago

Abi, you DO have my prayers.. LOL.. you’re gonna need them. My daughter started at age 9. About 6 months later the PMS started… it is a true jekyl and hyde situation! We can pinpoint the day before it starts by the total personality change. Quick short blow up temper. She’ll be 12 in December. Good Luck.

Rosemary Hayes 12 months ago

OMG!! I soooo needed to see this today. I have been dealing with this same behavior from my almost 12 year old the last couple weeks, especially. I have had TWO crying spells this week already – not her, ME, because I thought I was losing my baby and being a terrible Mom. My sister-in-law had me near to calling the pediatrician to start getting blood work because she had diagnosed her with thyroid or sugar problems (she no where near has a PhD and especially not an MD). I knew in my own intuition it wasn’t a health issue, just a putrid little asshole coming out of my sweet loving child. Add to that a husband who overreacts about EVERYTHING. Chooses EVERY battle and won’t back down because HE has to WIN or “she’s going to be out of control”. Whatever, dude, look in the mirror. But anyway, this helps me know that it’s not just me, and my putrid little asshole has clones. Thanks. :)

Joanne 12 months ago

Hate to break it to you … But the worst is yet to come.
I’ll take the tween years twice if that means I can skip the teen years. :)

Nana 12 months ago

You could not have explained my granddaughter any better!

Adrienne 12 months ago

100% agreed! These articles are just meant to bring a little humor into a rough period, and let us parents know that we’re not the only ones who are going through this stuff. Otherwise, it’s pretty lonely when you feel like you’re the only one living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!
My daughter went through the same thing when she was 11 or 12. She’s 17 now, and I promise, they DO eventually go back to “normal!” I have 3 boys behind her, though, the oldest of whom is 13 and very moody right now. Not looking forward to living THAT particular chapter over again, but hey! What can ya do? :/

Anne 12 months ago

OMG!!!! This describes my 12 year old to a TEE! My older daughter was too much tomboy. I think she has more testosterone than most girls, but the younger one….EXACTLY like this!! I read a comment above that mentioned her getting her period…She hasn’t yet, but YIKES!! I’m in trouble!!

katie 12 months ago

Totally get it was written for parents; I do! But the question is why do parents feel the need to discount or poke fun of their children. My two tween girls are not perfect but they deserve better than this article. If tween girl wrote a post about how many personalities the moms had and they had to “put up with it” everyone would agree that was disrespectful…to each their own…

justa 12 months ago

Typo…1 is 8…and as much as we love our children and they will always be perfect to us, they do have flaws. We just have to get them through college and hope we survive it :)

justa 12 months ago

That was supposed to be and 1 is 8…sorry typo

justa 12 months ago

you hit the nail right on the head you couldn’t have said it any more perfectly!!! coming from a mom of three girls one being 19 1 being 13 and 1 being ate so I can really relate to this post!! thank you because it’s being shared all over Facebook!

Rebecca 12 months ago

I am now on my 4th and last 11 yr old girl. Hooray! However I am happy to say that the good personalities come out a lot more often and the dramatic &/or scary ones less or are dealt with by herself in her own room as she grows older. I love my girls. Much better than a silent moody brooding teenage boy.

Marie 12 months ago

I have a 13 shortly going on 14 year old daughter. I laughed until I almost peed my pants. I was crying, I was laughing so hard. This is my life exactly. It makes me feel better that I am not alone and for the parents that cannot find humor in this…I am sorry for you and you take your life too serious. I know this is how so many moms are feeling and it is wonderful that you were able to list these personalities so perfect. Our girls are normal and we will survive with laughter in our hearts. Maybe a few tears. There are times I am driving to work and reliving the morning and I have to laugh at the ridiculous events of the morning. If I did not laugh, I would certainly cry. I will miss these times when she leaves this stage in her life but I also feel blessed by the Lord to be given the opportunity to be her mom.

Tia 12 months ago

This is insulting to anyone who really has this disorder. You have no idea how hard it is to really live with switching from one personality to the next. You have no idea what the feelings associated are and to mock D.I.D. the medical term for personalities is sickening. People suffer from this everyday an due to things like this it is considered a joke too often. I have suffered with this for many years now. I read this because I actually do have 7 total. I hope you reconsider posting comparisons of your daughter to serious mental illness in the future.

RB 12 months ago

That is what I was just thinking! Lighten up people and give it a little chuckle! Honest it doesn’t make you a bad mom if you laugh at it!

Alyson 12 months ago

I have two daughter’s ages 12 and 13. Every day from morning to night is a constant roller coaster of emotions. I am a nurse that works in an OR, but it feels like a bipolar clinic the rest of the day at my house! I just got the daily eye roll and “blow” as she walked away…because I ate the bag of chips that had been in the cabinet for two weeks, but she was “going to take them for lunch, TODAY”! I’m throwing in the white towel.

Kelly G 12 months ago

So funny!! Exactly true even tho my oldest is only 10! I’ve been dealing with this since she was 7 lol!!!

Alyson M 12 months ago

This is dead on!! My 11 year old is exactly the girl you describe. Too funny!

Gricelyz 12 months ago

My daughter is only 6 and I recognize all of those already, , lord help me
Boys are easier

Jill 12 months ago

I have 4 boys and 1 girl ranging from ages 2-13 and my girl is 11. My husband and I joke that “God gave us 1 girl for a reason” We know he wont give you more than you can handle. :) One tip I learned and it works: when the attitude happens and the “I know” when you are trying to help teach them or something. We started with each attitude she has she gets 1 warning. The second time she has to get her tennis shoes on and run a lap around our cul-de-sac. once she finishes a lap if there is still attitude she runs another lap. When she comes back in to finish what ever it was I tell her to keep her shoes on. WE have had up to 7 laps in one night but I tell you that for the next few days the devil child stays away for a while. Reminders will be needed :)

AJ Collins 12 months ago

BAD NEWS… I have an 11 year old boy and this is so close to what life is like in my house. So if you think you escaped with only one girl… sorry. The only major difference is the anger. All that testosterone and not knowing what to do with it is a roller coaster of fun. Oh the mood swings. He actually randomly bursts into tears… I think it’s those darn hormones, they ruin EVERYTHING. (Though, he does like how they are making him taller, broader and he’s getting a “mustache”)

Lureen 12 months ago

OMG you just described my 12 1/2 yr old to a t! We often wonder if we are the only parents with a multiple personality child lol. So glad, unfortunately, to know we are not alone!! It is definitely a live every day one day at a time! lol Good luck!

Jeane Campbell 12 months ago

Ok, moms. There is a new book out just this month called “The Swap” by Megan Shull. You’ve got to read it and then give it to your daughters and your sons. 7th grade girl, bullies, friends, boys, man-stuff and lots of mom/daughter stuff.. and boy/father stuff. Funny and oh, so right on. It’s easier to be a boy… no, it’s easier being a girl… and then they switch. What a weekend!

Rae 12 months ago

This is observational humor targeted at parents of tweens. It’s not content that you would share with your kids. Come on. Nobody is offering advice on saying these things to kids.

Rae 12 months ago

This is for the parents. You don’t read grownup content to a child. Duh. Nobody is condoning reading this to your kids. It’s humor. For the parents.

Life with ADD & ODD all in 1 12 months ago

This was AWESOME!!! It was so great, I had to read it to my husband too! We see a LOT of #3 in our house. Way more than anyone can imagine. Sometimes #1 and #2 appear…#2 is the best! We just take life one day at a time….

stacy 12 months ago

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Mine is almost 13, beware of a couple of more personalities. So glad to know I’m not alone!!!

mum2bee 12 months ago

Krista, People have emotions, and glad you recognize that that is normal.
(fed up with everyone calling everything a disorder and ordering medicine…bleh).
Glad she is smart enough to recognize in herself when she is behaving a certain way. It shows she’s growing into a responsible, and likely a kindhearted, empathetic, but also likely strong willed(good will) woman.

mum2bee 12 months ago

Melissa, well said.
Girls need to laugh at themselves. Reality checks are very necessary, and learning that some behavior is bad, but can be laughed at, and overcome. That’s what I think keeps people real.
And laughing.

Lisa Kramer 12 months ago

So very true. This is perfect!

Thank you for defining the personalities.

Another mother who faces the multiples. :)

melissa 12 months ago

quick, someone get her some meds! oh and probably the father too, he’s emotionally distant, he wasn’t even Mentioned in the article!

melissa 12 months ago

oh my gosh I know what you mean! my parents said things like this to me when I was growing up. they will never understand the damage they did permanently by making me laugh at myself. How terrible my life turned out to have 3 beautiful crazy daughters who can laugh at themselves. I had (and again will have) a great career that I was able to put on hold to stay home with them. I married a fabulous man who also laughs (and makes me laugh) at my mistakes and shortcomings and reminds me that life is not all emotion wrapped up in my head. this is such a terrible article.

Amy 12 months ago

I agree. I have an 11 year old and I would never speak these words over her. My tween is a kind, lovely and passionate girl who if she has a rough day, doesn’t need me to point out her shortcomings.

K.C DeWitt 12 months ago

Some would suggest that it is not so much multiple personalities but multiple disorders all seemingly having it’s own personality. Perhaps driven by worry. Mommy needs checked out first to make sure she is not the one with worry wart problems causing the daughter to mimic her. Makes a mother feel important enough she is saving her daughter by going viral. Even making it all up. MBPS is where mom makes her kid sick getting strokes by fooling doctors, in turn can be one of the multiple mental disorders, affecting someone here.

Melissa 12 months ago

Visit theparenthelpcenter.com…we can help you change this unwanted behavior.

Melissa 12 months ago

There’s a much better way to deal with this type of behavior. One that will truly change the unwanted behavior exhibited by your child. We as parents must learn that we cannot control our children. If you are dealing with any of the negative behaviors listed above please visit our website theparenthelpcenter.com to learn how to put peace back into your home.

kathy 12 months ago

The fact that your daughter is saying that she has different personalities could be a thyroid issue, or another hormonal imbalance that could be helped if she gets tested.

My 9 year old daughter would fly off the handle at the drop of the hat at the most odd times (in the middle of the swimming pool). We had her thyroid tested and it was completely out of whack. (she was at a 12 then went to 18 when the max should be 4). She has been on synthroid for a year and it makes a huge difference for her. When her mood is off now, she lets me know that she is feeling ‘snappy’ and so we handle it better now. She is way less snappy now.

Thyroid issues run in our family, so it is not uncommon. My daughters best friend also had thyroid issues. Yes, there are other symptoms for her hypothyroidism – stomach aches due to constipation, being tired, but her most obvious one is her mood. Plus our family is grumpy if we need to eat.

As she goes through puberty, her thyroid will be working harder, so we will probably need to up her dosage for a while, but once she is through it, we will be able to reduce it again.

Anna 12 months ago

Oh can I relate to this! Mine is 14. What until she hits “star crossed lover”. This one can also morph into drama queen or devil’s twin without notice!

Susannah 12 months ago

My middle child, 14 & female, is STILL progressing through these exact personality stages. You’re in for a loooong haul, mama.
Thanks for the hilarious solidarity.

Abigail French 12 months ago

Jody, you are not alone!! My three oldest children are boys (15, 13, 12) and my daughter is almost 7. Solidarity!

Abigail French 12 months ago

This is very similar to my life with my boys…ages 15, almost 14, and 12, just a few little tweaks and it is spot on!!!

Gail HS 12 months ago

While I understand this blog was meant to be funny, I think it is sexist and cruel. You are reinforcing all stereotypes of “girls” and therefore making them appear inferior to boys. Why don’t you show compassion for your daughter and understand that she is the one that has to live in this limbo – how painful and confusing it must be to her. Tweens are not acting this way to torment their parents. If they could be more balanced, they would…who would choose to live this way? – have some sympathy and realize that you were a tween once, too. I hope your daughter doesn’t read this… it would deeply hurt her sense of confidence and self to know that people are laughing at her.

Denise Heaney 12 months ago

My 8yo displays some.of these!

Mommy2 12 months ago

Gee, did you ever think that the fact that you are taking an 11 year old out for lattes and manicures is part of the problem? Take her to the local food pantry or hand her some laundry to be responsible for. ..Over privileged children will act like they have been raised.

Ivy 12 months ago

This describes my almost 11 year old perfectly! It amazes me how fast she can go from calling me “Best Mom Ever!” to grumping around about how unjust her life is.

Fiona 12 months ago

Pretty funny article, overall. My daughter is 6 and seems to be exhibiting some of these qualities already. The only thing I disagree with that you wrote is about the BFF personality. Your child shouldn’t be listening to your problems or helping you with them. Children should only have to worry about issues related to kids, and should not be exposed to/made to feel responsible for solving a parent’s problem, mood, etc, in my opinion. When people say “my kid is my best friend”, I want to throw up. They are your children, not your friends.

Kristina Mendoza 12 months ago

Isn’t this the truth…..

Erika 12 months ago

Sorry, got cut off there. While tween brings its own unique brand of “fun” to parenthood, I have some potentially distressing news for you all…teen is much, much worse. The number of personalities funnels down to essentially 2: good kid and SATAN CHILD. Unfortunately, there are weeks in which you don’t really see anyone but Satan Child…she slams doors, screams at you, sometimes cusses you out, and generally makes you wonder if she has completely lost her marbles. Logic and rationality are thrown completely out the window, and an indefinable rage settles in during the magical years between 13-15. My daughter is about to hit Sweet 16, and I am hoping…praying…PLEADING that it will live up to its nickname.

Erika 12 months ago

While tween certainly brings its own uniqu

Katie 12 months ago

I have three little girls. one in the tween stage and has been there a while and one almost there and one is still really little. I hate these stereotype posts. I get it they are ‘supposed” to be funny, but they do our daughters a disservice. I refuse to discount any of my daughters in such a way…

Donna 12 months ago

My seven year old has been like this HER WHOLE LIFE. I wish I was exaggerating.

Shannon McIlvain 12 months ago

I have met that one and she is annoying.

Janet 12 months ago

When my tween complains she’s bored, I give her something to do….the dishes, laundry, etc. Occasionally I make it something fun like we dance for 5 minutes; otherwise, she would stop sharing her boredom.

Laura 12 months ago

Ugh. Can I be the only negative Nelly here? I feel that pedicures and lattes are for women who have jobs. Not for 11 year-olds. Really not for anyone without disposable income. And BFFs for adults should be other adults.

Melanie Stuck 12 months ago

Haha thanks! So true and unfortunately I have graduated from tween to teen! Lord help us all!

Allison Clayman 12 months ago

My goodness this is accurate.

Katie Ortega 12 months ago

This is my almost 11 year old to a tee!!

Michelle Coulthard Nemphos 12 months ago

and of 5 year olds!

LJ Jones 12 months ago

Threenager, perfect! Hadn’t thought of that one, but accurate!

Andrea Silva 12 months ago

I feel much more normal…..:)

Amanda Mandie Charles 12 months ago

I ❤️ this one!!!!! Lol I have a tween also (the first of 3 to hit her Tweens) & it’s definitely been…….challenging!

Jody 12 months ago

I have 3 boys and 1 girl. My daughter is 8 and quite a joy. My 16 yr old son however is worse than the tween mentioned above!!

The Wifely Person 12 months ago

Now, my junior son (almost 30) refuses to read my blog (not a mommy blog at all) because he thinks I’m a left wing nut ball….which is pretty funny comin’ outta a guy who is only slightly right of Karl Marx, His brother the senior son-blues man, loves the blog, and he is only slightly left of Groucho Marx.

Now, one of the things I learned the first year in blogdom was that it didn’t matter what I said in the blog, junior son was embarrassed by it, and that his friends all read embarrasses him even more. And I’m not even writing about him.

So I can only hope this kid isn’t reading this because you’re probably more likely to get #3 instead of #5.

Either way, this is one more reason I am _so_ glad I had boys.

Wishing you all the best luck!

The WP

Katie 12 months ago

I have 3 girls (two preteens and a new teenager) and I am laughing because of how true this is. (I am only safe because 2 Devil’s Twins and a Drama Queen just went to bed and they can’t hear me!)
The only help I can give you is the number of eye rolls that will tell you when you are going from Drama Queen to Devil’s Twin. It’s different with everyone. Good luck.

Holly Smith Brown 12 months ago

So happy she isn’t a tween any more!!!!

Ginger Evans 12 months ago

I have three of these. All girls. I may run away from home. No joking, its rough.

corzac 12 months ago

Lol I have two girls both are teens if you think these are scary with a tween magnify these by atleast 5 and add a couple more like emo girl, bully to brothers and girl of destruction and reverse the maturity and you’ll have a teen.

Paige Jax 12 months ago

Today my tween boy’s personality was ass hole.

Virginia Hope Lynch-Lineback 12 months ago

Tween? Lmfao that’s funny more like teen!

samantha laury 12 months ago

This sounds like my 8 year old. UGH. I swear she is going to be an early period starter.

Chantelle Roy Kimball 12 months ago

I have one sweetheart and one evil twin in the house today 😉

Lisa Cunningham 12 months ago

I think you must be speaking about mt daughter! Ony I haven’t seen the BFF or sweetheart in a few years

Jamie Giblon 12 months ago

My daughters only 8 and were already experiencing this! Good lord I dread the actual tween/teen years with her

Julie 12 months ago

Lol, to true! The first part of this summer I told my daughter, she’s 12, that she either needs to “start” or somethings gotta give! That roller coaster of hormones were driving us crazy! And in all honesty when she did start midsummer it was a relief!

Beatrice Leavens Brown 12 months ago

Been there twice with girls, and once with my son. I don’t know who was worse.

Juliek 12 months ago

Mine just turned 13 last June ! Sorry… doesn’t get much better. Gets harder to reason with. You will NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER …. will you be right, or be smart enough to understand,lol. But the worst of days are few, the best of days are few, the middle of the road is where you usually find yourself. Go with the flow. I’ve always found it best to ask lots of questions, be interested. If she doesn’t want to talk, you’ll know by the snappy remarks and attitude. Then its a waiting game. If you are close, they will eventually come to you. Always tell her… ” I’m a Mom first, and a bf second ” Good luck to all of us !

Nancy McKay 12 months ago

I am so glad I have a boy but it is a whole different set of things

Brian Crabb 12 months ago

LOL

Deb 12 months ago

Omg! This is so true. My daughter is only 8 but I have seen quite a few of these already.

Jennie McDowell 12 months ago

Our oldest is 13 so we definitely still have this going on…..we see Einstein daily and also Drama Queen even though she is a self proclaimed “Drama HATER”. If we are more than 30 seconds late getting out the door to school—END OF WORLD. Even if it’s snowing and the roads are terrible—doesn’t matter lol. We DO occasionally see the nicer sides but they are few and far between at the moment. I am hoping that within a couple years this will subside but it will mostly likely be around 3-4 years…..just in time for our youngest to get into it lol…….gonna be a bumpy ride!

Jennifer Bonti 12 months ago

This is my 11 year old daughter! I literally laughed out loud this article is SO true!!!!!

Katie Locke 12 months ago

I could have written this word for word… someone PLEASE tell me it gets better at 12. hahahahaha I know who am I kidding!

Karen Holland Barnes 12 months ago

So.Very.True!!

Nicole Price 12 months ago

Mine is 9 and as all of this already I am thinking about moving and till she is 18 but I don’t think the man could handle it I am just happy to no it’s normal I thought she was crazy lol thank u for sharing she is the oldest so I am learning as I go with this it is scary how fast they can go from angel to devil child !

Amee Collins Drahos 12 months ago

I absolutely love this, my God it’s so freakin spot on! I have a 12 going on 13 year old, she makes me crazy and can be exhausting but oh ky how I love my girl.

Jennifer Lynn Forsyth 12 months ago

Boys are just as bad!

Donna Gibbons 12 months ago

I it changes every few minutes!

Angeline Legacy 12 months ago

Lord give me strength. That is all I ask. LOL

Red Ruby Ivy 12 months ago

“She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.” may be my new favorite sentence in life. Ever. HA!!!

Shannon 12 months ago

I can totally relate to this… My 11 year old girl is all of the above at different times but never none of the above lol.

Shell Fry 12 months ago

Haha! Yep!

Jamaican Bacon 12 months ago

Some tweens never grow out of that.

Shawna Bradfield 12 months ago

Ohhhhh! Thank goodness…. I’m not alone, dealing with my 12yr old! 😉

Margie Walzel Aronowitz 12 months ago

Wow yes I have met all 7.

Jennifer Tk 12 months ago

I learned when my girls became tweens (a year apart) that ANYTHING they did not do when they were toddlers, that drive most parents nuts, just wait. You didn’t raise a ‘better’ brand of kid, oh no… they are just saving that shit up for when they get older. Just because they don’t do it at 3, 4, or 5… don’t think your safe lol. And the REAL fun doesn’t start until 15 in my experience.

Elsa Kuhr Rock 12 months ago

This, too, shall pass !!!! 😀 😀

Linda 12 months ago

This was beautifully accurate to this mother of a near 13 year old girl! But beware mothers of tween boys – it’s not much different for them! We have 4 boys as well – and 3 are at this age point and above… You never know which personality will arrive with any of them! Cherishing the consistency of my 9 year old for a while… :)

Jaymi Kay Schulz 12 months ago

Haha this is totally what’s happening in my house

Annette Tyrrell Kunkel 12 months ago

Spot on!

Susett Vazquez 12 months ago

My daughter is 8 and is like this!!

Yvonne Evans Zemanek 12 months ago

I have 3 daughters, 19, 16, and 13. I have “survived” by the skin of my teeth so far. My mom said this was “payback x 3” for when I was a teen.

Bill Ross 12 months ago

I have a 13 yr. old male version of this living with me right now….be afraid…be very afraid.

Elizabeth Drake 12 months ago

Mines no longer a tween… But now a full blown TEEN! The sweetheart stage has disappeared completed… To be replaced with the MOM YOUR AN IDIOT stage!!!

Melanie Hendrickson 12 months ago

Welcome to hell. Hope we all make it through. Mine’s 11 and all ready throwing attitude. God I’m in trouble. Can I just lock myself away in my room till he moves out? LOL so much easier 😛

Lesley Morrissey-Realtor 12 months ago

Oh so on point!! I’ve got cuddly girl right now but it’s early yet!!

Alicia Marie 12 months ago

my daughter is 8 & this already fits her

Cindy 12 months ago

My 9 year old acts like this too. And the “I know” is ALWAYS pronounced with three syllables. “I KNOW-WUH.”

O_o

Brandy Carlson 12 months ago

LOL!!! So true!

Marnie Chan Demeterio 12 months ago

I have two sets of these. Thankfully my 14 year old son is a sweetheart. Right now he is safely in
“Sullen teenager who never comes out of his room”

Mary 12 months ago

Boys are just as bad, if not worse! lol

Shahgufta Ali Khan 12 months ago

Sweet yet Scary

Jennifer Borrego 12 months ago

I was thinking the same thing!! Mine is only 6!!!!!

Jennifer Borrego 12 months ago

I am reading these comments and praying the rosary…… This is my daughter and she is only 6!!!!! I am so effed when she is a tween/teen!!!

Scottish-Mum-of-Two 12 months ago

I’m just another mum-of-tween-girl adding my “Amen, praise the lord, I ain’t alone!” voice to the comments!! If both she and I make it to her 13th birthday (just one more year to go) it’ll frankly be a miracle. Surely the teenage years proper can’t be worse than this….?! Then, yay, lucky me, I have a 4 yr old daughter to go through all this with again, who’s showing all the signs of multiple personality already. Is it any wonder I survive on a diet of gin?

JoAnn Bellinghausen Mamourian 12 months ago

OMG!!! YES!!

Amy Sturman 12 months ago

Me too!

Audrey Flud 12 months ago

Yup. I’ve got one of those.

Hayley Dobbs 12 months ago

I can laugh for now, but I’ll be in the same position quick enought lol

Rachelle Wilson 12 months ago

Thanks heaps Hayley, that’s totally how it is …
Live and learn from everyone you can lol

Carol Murphy 12 months ago

Thank you. I needed this soooo much. It helps me to know there are others out there, and that I am not alone.

Debbie Lin 12 months ago

All!!! Every one of them!!! I do love most of them

Jessica 12 months ago

I have three daughters. Ages 2, 5, and 8. All of them have everyone of these personalities now. I am in trouble!

Carey Newton-Grohs 12 months ago

All but #6. She’s one tough girl.

Genine Cann Piro 12 months ago

Bless us and save us!! …all of these are my 11 year old! I so wish the sweeter
‘ones’ would come out and play more

La Familia Ortiz 12 months ago

This is my almost 8 year old ugh

Heather Ann Norden 12 months ago

Alexis N Keaton this will be you someday. .. I love being a grandma :) I will just go buy some toys lol :) :)

Dixie Childers 12 months ago

Doesn’t get any better……mine just turned 15. Hoping I can hang in there!

Jessica Beaulieu Caracofe 12 months ago

Sharon we hit #1-7 from 10am-12:15pm, today! I’m pretty sure our most prominent personality is described in #7. Lord help us is right!

Frankie Frazier 12 months ago

This is so funny and so true

Kris Jungquist 12 months ago

I am so scared, our daughter is just shy of 11 and we are dealing with all of this…sigh…

Amy Decious 12 months ago

My son is 11 and acts like a tween girl sometimes :/

Hannah Danto Dorafsha 12 months ago

Hilarious- but only because I remember being that way myself. I don’t yet have any tween girls I parent.

Lissa Green Whittenberger 12 months ago

My 11 y.o SO correctly put!!

Lissa Green Whittenberger 12 months ago

As for daughter..TRUE TAURUS bull…war child..but then wants me to cuddle and she wants to brush my hair..huh???

Lissa Green Whittenberger 12 months ago

Hit it perfect!!!!

Areli Duran 12 months ago

Lol!! Thank you for this! I was thinking someone abducted my daughter and replaced her with the person that looks like my daughter. So glad I’m not the only mom going living with a tween with multiple personalities.

Melinda Hicks 12 months ago

My grandma always said that puberty was a horrible thing to do to a nice little girl. lol

Jennifer 12 months ago

Spot on!! We are passing it around work for those of us in the throws of tweendom/teendom and for those who will someday embark! Shoot. I may even make my 13 year old read it.

Laura Blakely 12 months ago

Why me????

Tori Kenel 12 months ago

Spot on! Just wait–your days are coming!

Johanna Klein 12 months ago

This can be a teenager too. My 13 year old definitely has all these personalities!

Melissa Guynes Kirkner 12 months ago

I have five bucks that says you are bipolar BECAUSE of these kids. God love ya!

Key Last Sonatta 12 months ago

amazing how kids can be so beautiful and yet so frightening at the same time

Denise Carutasu 12 months ago

Sometimes, I think you live in my house.

Dayna Marino Lankes 12 months ago

My little girl is only 3 and I’m pretty sure she has multiple personalities already. Lol

Debbie Caruso 12 months ago

SO SO Appreciate this!!!!

Jenny Savage 12 months ago

LMAO. This describes my 12 year old to a “T”.

Maegan Davies 12 months ago

All of them. And it’s time 3. 11, 13 & 15. Not to mention the diva threenager. Why couldn’t I have had boys?!?!?!

Tia Olexa 12 months ago

my 9 1/2 year old daughter is a fun filled jack in the box one time something is a good reaction and not 2 seconds later the same thing is the worst thing ever. my 7 year old is afraid to breathe most of the time now.

Tina McBride 12 months ago

This IS the BEST read EVER!

Courtney Bates 12 months ago

Wow, ^^^ I see everyone got a good laugh and can relate to the very true trials of pre-teen and teen females. Insult someone’s parenting, shame on you. Another example of the internet allowing someone to believe their opinions matter. It’s a good laugh, pull your “better than” rod out of your butt and move along.

Amy Middleton Hensley 12 months ago

Haha spot on! I saw them all just this afternoon!!

Holly Luvmyhubs Engler 12 months ago

Not mine exactly & a little older but I get It :/

JoEllen Pessefall 12 months ago

I have 2 girls…one’s still a tween with multiple personalities, the other is now officially a teenager. That’s the one to watch for! She’s developing all new multiple personalities!! I’m terrified. Really. 😉

Anna Rodriguez 12 months ago

I have a 17 1/2 yr old girl and she still has all of these! Lol lucky for me they didn’t start appearing till about 8-9th grade. In full effect now!

Phyllis Shea 12 months ago

This is MY daughter!!!

Erica Campbell 12 months ago

#6!! The first time I took her skiing and fell, she lay there screaming, “Call 911!!!!”

Kezia May McLaughlin 12 months ago

I teach tween girls. Sometimes they are SOOO MEAN I can’t handle it

Dawn Miller 12 months ago

Just gotta say: I dislike the tween/teen ages! got 2 teen girls (16 & 15), then 2 girls (10 & 8) who think they are teens & the little brother (5) who tries to run them all. my bipolar is nothing next to these kids!! Lol

Daphne Reed Mertens 12 months ago

This is my 11 year old daughter. I could have wrote this word for word!

Seranity Hinkley 12 months ago

I can definitely relate Sharee! Lol

Jamie 12 months ago

HAHAHA! OMG! I have 2 girls and a boy…ages are 11 and 7.5 yrs and my boy is 5 months…I was just thinking, cause the devils twin is here , the oldest might not see 12….I love my kids dearly, don’t misunderstand me, but dear Lord this is crazy stuff…

Julie Pearl Puckett 12 months ago

Nailed it!!Had to endure it 3 times!!Uggg!!

Andrea Erlanger Kehler 12 months ago

Yep…

Amie Miller 12 months ago

my husband laughs that when my girls do get theirs he’s going to pack up the boys and they will all leave for a week every month! lol, he said he will tell them its for thier own safety. 😉

Amie Miller 12 months ago

I’m dying! these are SO true! My older daughter will be 11 next month and my younger just turned 6. Yeah, those are perfect descriptions!

Karin Siccardi 12 months ago

This perfectly describes my 10 and 12 year olds.

Mandi Babineaux 12 months ago

We named one of our daughter’s personalities Gertrude. You do not want to meet Gertie! Phew!

Michele Shaw Abbruzzese 12 months ago

Pretty much sums it up….lol. Now I know what my parents went thru. Paybacks are a B.

Shanel 12 months ago

I have two girls, 2.5 and almost 1…..I am terrified of the tween/teen years! And the way my oldest works my nerves now…Yeeesh, we’re gonna get into it. My mom says it’s payback. :-)

Barbara Sullivan Robbins 12 months ago

I know this girl!!!

Stefanie Anderson 12 months ago

Hahaha. My girls are almost 11 & 12 and a half. This is hilarious.

Becky Grover 12 months ago

Omg! Ours is 12 and the only thing missing is the silent one. Who stares at you when you are speaking and won’t answer no matter what is threatened!

Shondi Muir 12 months ago

My ELEVEN year old got hers this summer and I threaten to move out everyday!

Broda Lyn 12 months ago

Love this! My 11yr old girl is the exact same

SharRon Bloxham 12 months ago

So funny to read this today after a full day of drama from ten and nine year olds

Krisann Sattler Hankins 12 months ago

Perfection. It’s always nice to be reassured that you are not alone in the struggle! Thanks for the laugh and understanding.

Aimee Reed 12 months ago

Lol so freaking true!!

Bena Gammel 12 months ago

I have a Gemini and I’m a Gemini so it’s more like Sybil and her twin live in my house.

Catherine B 12 months ago

Omg this is SO my almost 11 year old daughter! Haahha

Stacey Gunther Beck 12 months ago

The Drama Queen. All day, every day. I’m pretty sure my daughter is a 19 year old trapped inside of a 9 year old’s body. God help us when she starts her period, I think my husband might move out!

Anne Wischnewski Hammann 12 months ago

So true! Lol

Katie Thomas 12 months ago

Dunkin Donuts actually, but this is my Evil Beast. My 12yr old. She’s all of these in one day.
Thankfully I’ve done this twice before though, so she has 2 big sisters to turn to for advice when I’m ready to kill her.

Michele Musbach Proefrock 12 months ago

My daughter hits all of these. Heaven help me but she is Wonderful and I love her endlessly!

Krissy Chisam 12 months ago

Ha. Today? How about this hour?

Elaine Arnold-Wilson 12 months ago

Mine is 15 & still has all those personalities.

Tracy Sosa Torres 12 months ago

Lol love it

Jennifer Quilici 12 months ago

Sounds like my 8 year old son lol

Kim Rogers-Tipton 12 months ago

This is so spot on!! My daughter is 13, and I could swear this article was written about her!

LJ Jones 12 months ago

THIS. This is my life . . . add in a just turned from terrible twos to troublesome threes and well, life is interesting! Thanks for sharing this, it’s good to know I’m not alone!!!

Meg Reilley 12 months ago

Aahahhhhhhh….just wait until 14, 15, 16!!!

Angie Earl Brennen 12 months ago

What about a 7 year old??? It sucks even more cause it’s me when I was her age:/

Sara Stewart 12 months ago

Love!!

Jennifer Crooker Williams 12 months ago

Love this! My daughter is 10 and this very much describes her!

Amy Grimes Spaulding 12 months ago

EVIL!!!!! She’s EVIL HELP ME

Melissa Guynes Kirkner 12 months ago

I have a tween boy with multiple personalities. I’m considering sending him to my parents until he’s 35. They’ve already done this 3 times. I figure they’re good at it by now.

Donna Oestreich 12 months ago

Omgosh, yes! I have one that’s about to be 5 this coming friday and wowzer! I am dreading tween and teen years!!!!

Jen Sowden 12 months ago

Tween? How about the 4 year olds?

Angela 12 months ago

I have an almost 13 year old girl! Believe me, it gets much worse! We mainly see #3 & #7 with her. She believes she’s a diva and everything must be absolutely perfect and no matter what you do it isn’t. We are having issues with responsibility, being grateful, and full blown attitude. Some days I would gratefully welcome being locked in a padded room, but I’d probably be released for good behavior before I got to fully enjoy it.

Mish Q 12 months ago

HAHAHA!! I laughed so hard when I read this! It is so good to know that someone out there gets it and I am not crazy! LOL! Thanks!

L 1 year ago

There really is very little difference between the terrible twos and adolescence.

Janine Ion 1 year ago

I am terrified! My daughter is only 6 and already has at least three of these personalities. Great article!

jazz 1 year ago

I am with you there I feel exactly the same with my 11 yr old daughter. I was so close to my daughter then she turned 11 and the mood swings from happy to angry in seconds what a great web sight it does hurt you think to yourself where am I going wrong I haven’t changed all of sudden is it just me its great to know there are other mums dealing with the same things. thankyou

Heather B 1 year ago

Oh my! Great post. Funny, yet I know, not really funny. Maybe we have to laugh or we’ll lose it, right? We’re preparing for the tween/preteen/middle school years. Almost there and if possible, trying to equip ourselves – equip ourselves to survive. We’ve been reading a great new book that we are really excited about, so I just have to share. It’s called “MiddleSchool: The Inside Story- What Kids Tell Us, But Don’t Tell You,” by Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuna. It has interviews and feedback from middle schoolers, parents and teachers (and a little humor) to help us deal with faith, purity, puberty, communication, independence, discipline and accountability, tackling social media, technology, Internet, gaming, and deepening and strengthening positive, loving relationship. It’s so rich in valuable help as we face these transitional years with our kids. I think everyone with a middle schooler or who will have a middle schooler will benefit from it. I highly recommend it!

Baley 1 year ago

OMG. I have a 28 year old brother in law who’s exactly like that. :(

lisa 1 year ago

when your children grow up and on there own, you will wished they were home again, it is all very worth the mood swings they have , and always something to remember and laugh about

Tara 1 year ago

Oh, this is spot on for my 10 year old!! I laughed so hard and am so glad you nailed this one. I would have to add “Pop Sensation” to your list. Sometimes when I tell her to get ready, we have errands to run (oh, like the grocery store and the library), she disappears and music gets turned up loudly in her room. When she emerges, she has a perfectly coordinated outfit head-to-toe along with sparkly lip gloss and a whiff of Taylor Swift’s perfume. She issues demands from the back seat for me to DJ between her favorite radio stations and belts out Adele’s Rolling in the Deep with as much soulfulness as a 10 year old can muster. It’s kind of spectacular to watch . . . I do love that girl despite the crazy!

Claire 1 year ago

This!

CJ 1 year ago

I have twin girls age 12. DEAD ON. The devils twin and the baby rear their ugly heads way more than I would like to admit!!!

AmyS 1 year ago

YES! AMEN! Thank you!!!

AmyS 1 year ago

Agreed. I have four sons and a daughter (ages 15-22). They are wonderful people, through and through. Why do people say such awful things about their daughters? I’m sickened by this thread.

AmyS 1 year ago

Girls get a bum rap. You wrote a very affirming article about your son’s tween challenges–naming the best, strongest, most adult qualities of his emerging self. And then, you use the metaphor of a mental illness to describe your daughter’s emerging self, and you call her a slew of nasty names. Why?

Pidge 1 year ago

Wow, that looks familiar!
I have a 10-year old, and she’s already started some of these.
Oh boy – the next few years should be fun!

Erin 1 year ago

Oh, how I needed this right. this. moment. I just had an encounter with Miss Einstein the Drama Queen!! But there was another personality: the Unbeliever. VERY similar to Einstein, but goes out of her way to question and debate and refuse to believe that if she’d listen to me, her project might just come out right!
Which makes the Devil Child appear in me!! 😉

Leon Rauch 1 year ago

You just described my going to be ten year old grand daughter. Aren’t these little girls wonderful?

Lori 1 year ago

Would rather have a boy!!!

wkmtca 1 year ago

i have a 14 yr old boy. omg.. the attitude, the way he has NO TIME for anyone but the friends. he knows EVERYTHING.. i am hoping my ‘real’ son shows up again soon

Karen Boyd 1 year ago

Thank you for putting this into words!! This SOOOOOO describes our daughter starting at age 11. We are now nearly at 17 and beginning to see more and more of the pleasant personalities and less of the not-so-pleasant ones. Were we totally unprepared or what?!?! We had 3 boys first and thought we had it all figured out….NOT! A friend of mine called them the cat years….you have this wonderful lovable puppy and then SUDDENLY, she’s a cat. She reassured me that eventually we will have a wonderful doggy again one day….I’m so ready!

Krista 1 year ago

My seeing & reading this couldn’t have been more timely!! I have an 11–yr-old girl & she was telling me how lately she feels like she has multiple personalities. Like something is taking over her. Emotional for no real reason, angry rage, etc. I’ve had other terms for it (God Help Me), but good to know it’s not just my girl. And hoping to here that this will pass soon for both of our sakes!! I figure it is hormones? I will survive.

clara 1 year ago

bored is good. It gives them a chance to figure out new things to do! New hobby anyone?

Karen 1 year ago

Love this! All those live at my house in one body too! And mine has one more…
“The Judge” – This one stares at you with contempt every time you tell her to do anything in a way that doesn’t agree with her assessment of the situation. She rolls her eyes as she pretends to hear your defense of your position, then proceeds to ignore you and stomp off, 100% convinced that she is right and you are an idiot.

Kathy 1 year ago

Ladies, I’m here to tell you that it does get better. It takes years, but eventually the transformations between each one to the personalities you mentioned become less and less. Don’t let your guard down too easily tho, they can fool you in an instant! LOL!

cassye 1 year ago

WOW, this is totally me…er her, and she’s only 10. JUST turned 10! *Sigh* so glad I’m not the only one, I was beginning to think that I was the Sybil here. Thank you for making it all less scary :)

VT 1 year ago

If only I could get my 40 year old brother out of this stage……case in point…

My parents want to plan a vacation to take us and our families to the beach. My brother remarked to each house my mother found something along the line of: “You’re killing me, I think I am going to die.” Really? You are 40 years old and your parents wants to pay for your vacation and take you to the beach. I’m sorry it doesn’t work out that the houses she found are not near a Margaritaville, but get over it and grow up!

Samantha 1 year ago

OMG this is my life right now my oldest girl is 11 and it is all I can do sometimes to just make it through the day. I have thought of taking get to a therapist, cause lord knows I can’t talk to her about anything.

SW 1 year ago

totally agree. I have raised two boys (now 18 and 21) and they were just rough and tough until they hit 15 and then they straight lost their minds, both are still trying to find it. My daughter is 12 and she is the sweetest thing. She swears she won’t be the way her brothers have been, but I am bracing myself. Hopefully she will take pitty on me since I am not as young as I was when her brothers were teenagers.

Natalie 1 year ago

I am speechless! My daughter turns 10 on Saturday and this…..is just so correct! ha! ha!

Leonie 1 year ago

Loved reading all of your comments. I think I win! Foolishly. I had 4 girls!! When our eldest was young, we used to say we weren’t going to do the teenage years; we were bypassing them! However, when she turned 12, it appeared we WERE doing them. When #2 reached this age, she developed anorexia. Try adding those venomous demons onto the plate! She is now 19 & still a Drama Queen on a rollercoaster. #3 has always been the most mature of them all, and at 17 now, continues to be delightful company! And #4,12 this year, still tells us daily how much she loves us! I’m keeping her at this age!

Myra Roy 1 year ago

The best way to deal with these multiple personalities is put your daughters into sports, I have several granddaughters and all except one play a different sport every season. None of them were very good athletes when they started around age 5 to 7.but stuck with sports.and some have become very proficient athletes. The oldest one was offered a full college scholarship for her athletic abilities. These girls use so much energy for sports they have no time to be bored, drama queens, etc. and all are on the Honor Roll.
On the other hand, the granddaughter who isn’t involved in sports has been driving her parents crazy since she was 8 is now 10 and makes. her parents want to run away – she has about 20 personalities plus PMS. Even her sporty cousins don’t want anything to do with her. She believes everyone and everything revolves around her and if it doesn’t, then she feels that everyone hates her.

Julie 1 year ago

I have 3 girls, 13, 11 & 7! Talk about needing prayer O:-)

PamL 1 year ago

I also have 3 sons. They are 36,30 and 27. It gets better.. So much better!

PamL 1 year ago

I am a Gram of 6- 3 girls ages 5,11& 15. I only had boys and I just love this!! I can smile and just love my girls now.. Their parents see this behavior but I can just smile.

Elizabeth Cohen 1 year ago

My multiple personality daughter is now a fully grown mommy of four and she has her own tween at home. Do you know Karma I do and boy she is a B*tch

Megan Lee 1 year ago

OMG!!! Seriously, I’m calling the cops, cos you’re stalking my house! Honest, that sounds EXACTLY like my daughter. She’s 13 now, and the vitriol hasn’t stopped yet. If I look at her, I’m being mean. If I DON’T look at her, I’m ignoring her. Nobody is allowed to breathe loudly in her presence. *sigh* I’m hoping against hope that the alien race who put this child here, will come back and get her, returning my precious, delightful, polite, charming daughter in it’s place. lol

biff 1 year ago

I guess I’m lucky. My 14 yo girl is almost always the bff, the sweetheart, or the mature one. She still likes to cuddle, helps clean, sometimes kicks me out of the kitchen because I’m doing something wrong and she’ll do it herself.

She’s even a snuggler when she’s grounded, she doesn’t hold grudges.

Occasionally the know it all shows up though.

Stacey 1 year ago

Love this! My boyfriend has boy and girl 14-year-old twins who are extremely good when they are at our house, but they are here very part-time. I know his ex-wife doesn’t have it as good with his daughter and they are constantly fighting. I have an 11-year-old daughter who fits this article to a T. Seriously it could have be written about her! My boyfriend always says to me that he doesn’t know how I do it and remain calm. I tell him that you learn to fight your battles. He always comments, “Guess your not fighting this one.” Two minutes later, “This one neither, huh?” Luckily, he is very laid back! I keep telling him it is normal behavior and after reading this article and both laughing he finally understands! Luckily the 1 and 2 personality comes out more than rare for me, but she can switch and become the Devil’s Twin at every moment! Thank you Thank You Thank You for this blog!

Susan 1 year ago

I loved ALL the memories this brought out! thank you! and I am waiting with great anticipation for you to meet your lil miss socially aware at about 15

Kris 1 year ago

Omg, I was reading this out loud to my husband and he about spurt coffee out his nose. I am a step monster of an 18 yo, and even though I haven’t experienced all of this, I know I’ve seen some of these personalities. Thank you for the laugh!

Jes Motherofthreeboys 1 year ago

I loved this and wanted to share my version for you. I have 3 boys 5, 12, 14…

The BFF
Goes out grocery shopping, and helps willingly.
Goes out for lunch and chats nicely.
Occasionally smiles.
Hangs out on the couch and watches a little TV.
Ususally the BFF only shows up when the internet
is out and the calm has subsided(refer to the Drama King)
As more time goes by the less I see of this guy, I’ve
heard he comes back after he moves away…

The Sweetheart is GONE.
He is too cool to cuddle, occasionally I get a hug…so maybe
there is hope….

The Devil’s Twin
This one shows up so fequently..the most common times are
within 10 minutes of getting off the bus in the afternoon.
This one can be brought to the surface faster if food consumption
has not happened within an acceptable time…we call this Hangry.
If not lulled by food or pacified by an alternitive activity he
can quickly become the Drama King.

The Einstein
This one knows EVERYTHING. Yep, everything. And he also likes to
inform you of everything he knows, and is adept at informing you of
your worst traits and downfalls as a parent….remove yourself from
his proximity immediately when the sentences he spews start out with
“You never…” or “You always…”

The Spaz
Believes the world ending
Nothing to eat(i.e. cereal, pop tarts)End of the world
Has to brush his teeth, end of the world
Has to take a shower, end of the world
It’s raining, still has school, end of the world.
No internet, APOCOLYPSE!!!!!

The Mature One
He is a Man. He knows how to handle himself in public.
He does things without being asked(HAHA who am I kidding, I’ve never
met him, there’s hope, but seriously…)

This goes for all of my boys, not just one. I love them all equally(you have to say
that right?) and I look forward to what will come, after they move out…

Yvonne 1 year ago

Oh yes the first time met this one I have to admit o was a little speechless.

Kristin 1 year ago

Loved this! It’s so true. My daughter has just one more personality. The know it all. She knows everything and I know nothing. It’s when they ask you a question, you answer it, and they immediately start arguing that you’re wrong. You’ll never win the right answer award when speaking to this personality… Back away slowly…. Oh the fun of having a tween. :)

Char 1 year ago

Enjoyed all the comments I see the humor and the pain each step taken is one more victory for us all! Keep it up!

Bree 1 year ago

Hilarious! My ten year old daughter fits into all of these personalities!!

Melissa 1 year ago

Aside from the Mani/Pedi, this describes my tween boy to a T! Tween boys, according to the 6th grade principal, go through just as many mood swings. I’m, sadly, finding this is true.

Mean Mama 1 year ago

Mama Menopause and girl puberty are not friends, teen girls clash with their moms as they try to redefine the relationship from little girl to young woman, but when the mom is also experiencing hormone change I have noticed the clashes are worse. Might I suggest finding a younger mom you trust and encourage her and your daughter to build a relationship of trust. Perhaps a mom that needs a babysitter for her young ones? That way she has someone safe to talk to when both your hormones are flaring. I have noticed this with the much younger sister of my friend. She started babysitting for me when she was 12, and now when she and her mom clash she can walk over to my house and eat chocolate with me until she calms down and then I send her home to work things out with her mom. As my oldest is approaching puberty I can trust my young friend to be a listening ear when my daughter needs to vent about me! It’s a great deal we have worked out!

Kaybs 1 year ago

I teach 6th grade reading, so I absolutely, completely, totally feel your pain. Multiplied by 60… and as mean and as terrible as they are to adults, they are much much worse towards each other. I see every single one of these personalities, except for the sweetheart. Sweetheart never comes to my classroom :-(

Amy Pogrebin Bremenstuhl 2 years ago

The “fashion police”…”Mom, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but are you wearing that? It kinda makes you look weird…” or “Why are you picking me up in the truck? It’s embarrassing.” and on and on about who uncool we look!

Avery’sMom 2 years ago

OMG that was the most hilarious, peeing in my pants thing I have read in my life!! The Devil’s Twin kept me in tears! hahahahaaa!

alvarose 2 years ago

My husband is usually at work when demon seed and troll witch make an appearance. For a good while he was saying I had to be exaggerating. He was out with her one Saturday and he got to experience the many faces himself. Then he knew the reality.

alvarose 2 years ago

That’s my 13 yo son but on top throw in picky eater. His go to vegetables are fries, mashed potatoes and raw carrots. Sisters copy him. I so look forward to making dinner, not.

Miranda 2 years ago

Seriously! How stupid are you? They’re talking about 11 and 12 year olds and this is your comment! Get a life you freak!

Valerie 2 years ago

I was laughing, hysterically, by the time I reached #3 because my daughter (at age 10 1/2) fits every single one of those descriptions to a T! I can SO relate to you, Mom. Keep up the good work though, it will not be in vain!!

Erika 2 years ago

The ages beTween little kid and teenager.

Jamie Bartley 2 years ago

I have a 14 year old and most of the time I live with the drama queen and the twin. I posted one day that living with a teenager was like going to war and hoping to not step on a land mine. It is hard but one day will be worth it.

Louise 2 years ago

My daughter is only 8 and this is a perfect discription of her!! Eek!!

Valeri 2 years ago

Honestly, you just hold your breath until she moves out. I have two step sons, 16 & 17 now, and I was offended when someone gave me this advice early on. Then a year or so went by and I realized that person was right. Step kids are hard. Teenagers are ridiculously hard. Teenage step kids are fucking impossible!!!

Semaphore 2 years ago

So funny, I have one of these too. Except she’s not a tweenager, she’s my wife.

shannan 2 years ago

I have 3 kids of my own and a step mom to two more kids. Out of all 5 of my kids, 1 is ADD and 3 are ADHD. My oldest son is 10, my next child is my daughter who is 5 going on 18, and my youngest son who is 3. My step daughters are 13 & 8. My oldest daughter who is 13 direspects me all the time. It doesn’t matter who her dad would have married, she wouldn’t have like the person what so ever. I am desperate to know how to survive this age and the problems she is having which seems to be all my fault. I need HELP! No matter what I say or how much I do for her, im the problem according to her and her actions and responses. I have dealt with this for almost 2 yrs now. Any suggestions is appreciated!!!!!

lisa | renovating italy 2 years ago

Ahhh the things they never tell you about kids…..ours is 11 and yes I know all these ages and a few extra ones thrown in as she is learning a new language and can give me cheek in Italian and English xx

MalikaBourne 2 years ago

Oh dear! She has not hit 13, yet. I will pray for your survival!!! WARNING!You’ve seen nothing, yet!

Banana man 2 years ago

WTf is a tween it sounds like a type of blowjob

shaina k 2 years ago

You seemed to have met my daughter

Malinda 2 years ago

Lol ya this is my 12 year old for sure. I wish I could say I only have to go thru it once but as of now she has four younger sisters. Thankfully they are at least two years apart in age.

Kim 2 years ago

Just remember each stage they go through at a certain age can never be recaputered. Enjoy each stage help them learn a lesson as they go through and try and learn something yourself so that you are prepared for the next stage. Time passes so quickly by and all you will remember is the times that you shared with each of them, the laughter, the struggles the many different personalities. Because someday they are going to come home and apologize for the things that they said and did. And the only thing that you will care about is that little girl or boy still wants you in their life and we as well as them will continue to go through the stages listed above and we will learn and love an live

Craig Stephans 2 years ago

That is right on! Many prayers offered for our 11 year old.

Dana 2 years ago

Bahahahahahaha! You could add the “mindless/forgetful” age- 11-20… Which comes after the Einstein Age… You’ll know when she’s around when you ask her “why?” And her answer is always she “I don’t know” or “I forgot”. Lol

Sara Lancaster 2 years ago

So what you are all saying is that I CAN live through this? Good to know.

Laura Ott Turgeon 2 years ago

Yes I have the victim in my house, along with the devils spawn, and so many others.. LOL.. Mine tween son is just plain ugly sometimes..

James Polony 2 years ago

At first, I thought this article was directing some insight into Multiple Personality Disorder, which some people believe to be mere fabrication. But, it seemed to skim the surface of adolescence, instead. Cute, but not necessarily what I clicked the link for, LoL…

RoseAnn DeFranco 2 years ago

THANK you for this. Now I can finally explain our daughter to my husband!

Allison 2 years ago

Been there, done that. Good luck to you with your almost 12 year old. My daughter’s worst years were 11-14. She improved once she went to high school. Not a lot, but enough to make life SLIGHTLY less stressful. She’s 19 now and still knows everything, but the BFF is around more than any of the other personalities these days. :)

Kim 2 years ago

My daughter is almost 11 and this describes her perfectly! I never know who is inhabiting her body at any given moment. I like the independent young lady she is becoming but I miss my baby girl. I think the drama queen maybe the one that kills me. Thanks for helping me to see I am not alone!

Courtney Boehm 2 years ago

Boys are worse!

Melanie Smith 2 years ago

thats what my mother says about my oldest when she goes to visit her! i wish that sweet little angel would either switch it up on grandma so that she knows what im talking about, or start being the sweet angel for me, lol

Matt Roush 2 years ago

Don't worry. Your stupidity will reach its peak (or should I call that the nadir of your intelligence?) when she's about 14, and then you'll be amazed how smart you've gotten by the time she's 19 or 20. All you have to do now is hang on.

Sarah Frack 2 years ago

Valerie Morris I loooove your title! 😀

Jack 2 years ago

I have my own Daddy’s Little Girl and I admit it is sometimes hard to say no. Can’t tell you quite how she does it because I always know when she is trying to manipulate me but sometimes…

Jennifer Ruschman 2 years ago

Perfect blog!

Charlene Sphon 2 years ago

My twins started going through this at 12 also… I found, through a friend… a book:
Surviving the teenage hormone takeover by Nisha Jackson MD
She mentions different herbal remedies for balancing the crazy hormones… I talked to my dr, and they started taking Evening Primrose oil… (as did I… turns out it helps with crazy periods and cramps too!). They took it daily for a few months… and then only when they felt they needed it… and now only when their periods start… or the pms, if it's a bad week. I think it saved our house! With 4 girls, 3 that are menstruating, its BAD if we run out!!! The Natures Way first cold press are smaller tabs than you can get at the local drug store, and on amazon the price is right. Hope this helps ya'll!

Patricia Sypke-Ungermann 2 years ago

Oh my goodness that is my 11 yr old daughter to a T thanks for making my day today and reminding me that I am not the only one in this hell lol

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Linda Parker-Eaton 2 years ago

FYI to those Mom’s with the girls with the multiple personalities. My 14 year old boy (he has 4 personalities-Mister Nice Guy, Mean, Perverted, Tired Guy) wants to verbally abuse and/or smack a few of your moody daughters around that are in his class. He came home from school and told me he called a girl in class a “dick” and she whined about it to the teacher. My son admitted to it but said that he was using a ton of self-control in “only” calling her a dick because she deserves far worse… He was surprised he didn’t get detention but perhaps his teacher was a mother to a daughter with multiple personalities too!

Shanny Reimer-Haider 2 years ago

Kristie Dagenhart I have to say-I have 13 yr old boy and he's EASY to deal with 90% of the time. My daughter is only 8 and I'm climbing the walls with her…she has 7 personalities as stated above. The mornings-you better run!!! She's not a happy princess at 7am. My boys were hellions when they were little and awesome now that they are all over 11 yrs old. However my girls were angels when they were little and turning into the 7 dwarfs as they get older starting at 8 years old.

Steven Witherell 2 years ago

I have been married to a woman who had 6 different personalities. Some integrated some changed but it is and will be a struggle for her to live with them. But she has a life where she raised 3 kids, and has on grandchild. It can be trying as a care giver. I just became to enjoy each personality as a separate friend.

Lisa Bernier 2 years ago

Oh please…get a life. You must just be the perfect Mom so why are you even reading these blogs? You obvioulsly fail to see the humor as it is intended.

Jayna Larkin 2 years ago

OMG! It starts at 2 and ends at 32! This is my daughter too!

Sanja Bill Brydges 2 years ago

Out of my 5…ages, 6, 22,28,28,30. boys were definitely easier!!!!!!! The six year old is a daily refresher for me, just how "challenging" girls can be. :)

Jennifer Luke 2 years ago

Toooo funny!

Virginia Dore 2 years ago

My drama queen doesn't say it is the end of the world, instead she repeats over and over that I have ruined her life! It is weird seeing someone else blogging about my daughter.

Tammy Hamilton Feyen 2 years ago

Oh this is so very true. And to top it off not only do I have a tween girl(will be a teen in March) but I also have a teen girl(14 till March). Some days it is not fun. And then there are the 4 boys behind them. I told my husband the other day I truly hope the boys are not like the girls in their teen years. The boys have been harder in the younger age so maybe there is a trade off? Although my 10 yr old boy sure gets mouthy and moody sometimes, and ready to break down in tears like he is pmsing.

Tamara Himmelberger 2 years ago

Hysterical. Warning though. I have a 12 and a half year old, and she has only perfected these personalities and added a few as well.

Constance Hodges 2 years ago

Excellent post! This applied to boys as well sometimes, and it was most enjoyable to read that other mothers are going through the same thing. Can’t wait to read more!

Amy Dryke 2 years ago

Wait until it gets its period.

Lynda Beatty 2 years ago

If we are lucky it will pass by 25!

Trish S. 2 years ago

We’ve seen flashes of these for several years. Now my baby girl is on the cusp of 10, we have seen them all. I hope she and I both survive til her adulthood. Her father runs from the room whenever she and I have to work together. Hahaha

Helizna 2 years ago

You forgot about the judge, that remembers the slightest injustice towards her…

Daniel Bonacum 2 years ago

LOL – BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE WHEN THEY'RE BABY'S!!!
Thanks for writing this, so funny, but so accurate!

Melian Williams 2 years ago

Oh so true.

sheila 2 years ago

Oh Anna – I am soooo where you are. I’ll keep you in prayer for your sanity!! ; )

sheila 2 years ago

And here I thought I was needing to send her to a psychiatrist and me to the asylum. It’s truly good to hear I am not the only one experiencing these things. My DD is 14 is a couple days and these symptoms have gotten worse over the past three years. This might help me gain a little sanity!!

Eugena Williams 2 years ago

Been there. Done that. A family counselor once told me this: "YOU just have to survive the teen years." That has kept me going for a long time now. You will make it.

Christine Welker 2 years ago

I can pretty much guarantee that my daughter (age 19) would say that a few years ago she would have called me the "bitch from hell". However; she has matured by leaps and bounds this past year and a half to two years and she realizes (and most importantly) ADMITS that she is turning into me and I was only the "bitch from hell" for her own good. Isn't that right Bridgette Marie Wiedman?

Victoria Nolten 2 years ago

Kelly Malone oh thank you thank you thank you for saying this!!!

David Duane Esmeyer 2 years ago

I know and had it roughrt than most as my experience was with a stepdaughter and im white and she is black, so not only did I have to deal with1-7or8 but add at least 1-2 other elements as your not my dad until she needed a ride or money, thank the good lord that I survived that and since were on this topic we should all then stand up and give Sidney Potier an ovation as he raised 6, yes 6 daughters, We love you Sidney

Valerie Morris 2 years ago

Sherrie Roecker My 8 year old has been doing this for years.

Jennifer 2 years ago

Love this post. On my older daughter’s 12th birthday, my younger daughter said she couldn’t wait til she was a teenager “so we could start getting it over with.”

misty 2 years ago

For serious. And my monster in disguise is only 7. Girls are insane.

Julie Sage 2 years ago

The Victim is in my house a lot lately…….

Angie 2 years ago

I’m in the ultimate “hell” of tweendom – TWIN daughters verging on 11. Double the personalities double the fun…

Monica Reiffer 2 years ago

There is hope! On the other side of these challenges are the most wonderful relationships of your life…when your daughters become your friends.

Amber Black-Poiroux 2 years ago

O GEEZ YALL ARE SCARING ME MY TWIN GIRLS WILL BE 13 IN LIKE 18 DAYS

Elizabeth Huckeba Walker 2 years ago

That is what a switch off of a peach tree is for strip those legs she will learn peachtree dance, and respect, a back hand across the mouth will teach her to lose the profanties, you are at fault for letting her rule, your are her mother not her friend.

Anna 2 years ago

I have a “parent” and a “victim” with my 14 year old. She constantly asks for money and when I ask her to do a chore she says it is not hers to do so I don’t give her any money. Now I’m the bad parent who doesn’t take care of her. Then she has the nerve to say she doesn’t like me in front of her friends while asking for something in the same breath! I wish I could have a few of the other personalities even for just a day or two a week!

Eileen Minor Spillman 2 years ago

At age 12 we were joined by the beauty queen/diva. She needs two showers a day and takes up to two hours to style her hair and find the perfect outfit. She'd rather miss school than wear a pair of jeans with any wrinkles or a sweatshirt with the tiniest speck of dirt and does not mind being half an hour late to flat-iron her hair.

Meandering Grumble Guts 2 years ago

Mine is 14.5 years and does everything from 3 onwards, very little of No. 5, but I have seen it… whooppeee that light at the end of the tunnel for end of teenagehood is slowly advancing… but ever so slowly hahaha 😀

Roni Bartlett 2 years ago

What ev's — stepmom of 3 boys, they were just as bad as the girls.

Roni Bartlett 2 years ago

I find that once we turned the corner from 14, 15 is much better…3 boys and 2 girls, neither gender was easy at those ages

Forever Annoyed 2 years ago

As an addendum, sexism or any other ‘ism’ is when people use differences to belittle others or suggest they are somehow less worthy as a person, or worthy of employment regardless of aptitude, etc. Some of the best and brightest minds are in the bodies of women, and men are better for the competition.

I know that when I go to the doctor, I want the best, not the one who just barely slipped into the profession because a superior candidate was denied access to the same opportunities.

Forever Annoyed 2 years ago

I’m a little saddened by the misogyny in some of these comments (those of the “So glad I don’t have girls” variety) especially considering that the source is other women. That’s part of why girls are such basket cases. Society holds girls to more rigid and often contradictory standards, which makes them high strung or rebellious, or both in turns. On the flip side, expectations for boys are too low, except when it comes to allowing them to express themselves (which is part of why their teen angst is more likely to result in a body count.) Both attitudes are destructive toward girls and boys. I taught tween boys and girls and they were both pains. I have twin boys that I love to death, but the way they act now, I’m worried about the later years.

Matthew, EVERYONE is different. Men and women aren’t alike, but men and other men aren’t alike, nor are women and other women alike – and not of that has to do with equality. Same rights for everyone. We’re all complex products of nature and nurture, and to discredit one or the other does everyone a disservice, particularly those who don’t conform to gender “norms.” (And no, I’m not just talking about people who are gay, but the boy who is small or likes to dance, or the girl who is a jock or a bookworm or whatever else threatens someone else’s world view.)

If we would be more considerate of the conflicting social pressures placed upon boys and girls and allow people to be themselves without taking it as a threat to our own senses of self, I imagine that would significantly cut down on teen angst.

Melissa 2 years ago

Our girls are 12 and 15. We have the baby and the rock star. The one that needs to become a constitutional lawyer, because her debate skills rival the greatest (now if she had any wisdom to go with all that knowledge). It’s the geeks and freaks spectacular. It’s Frenchie from ‘Grease’. Everyday is an adventure.
The boy on the other hand (14) is happy to be fed, clothed and allowed to play xbox. Showers usually have to be coerced.

Katrina 2 years ago

I’ve got 3 girls, ages 13, 9, and almost 4, and my smallest precious girl has a TWIN BROTHER!

It’s not just the boys who bail off of furniture, take stuff apart, get boo boos, and collect dirt! ALL 3 of my girls have done it and still do!

My girls seem to be tougher than he is, he THINKS he’s the BIG BROTHER to all 3, until one of them gets mad at him, and he becomes the DRAMA KING and “no one likes him”, “no one wants to be his friend”, “the sisters said he can’t come in their rooms anymore”, etc. this is normally because he’s trashed something in there, thrown stuff around the room, or decides that the dolls that may still reside there need “makeovers”!!!

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER a dull moment around here! From 6am-9pm on any given day it sounds like a zoo, smells like a perfume manufacturing company, and I’ve got more clothes in this house than most stores carry on their racks(or so it seems!). My poor guy is outnumbered, but he holds his own when it comes to the stuff the sisters dish out!

Angela Kousounadis-o’rourke 2 years ago

I love it !! I have one of those too I have survived 2 other teens Im not sure ill survive this one or even better if shell survive..lol ..I always tell her that famous line il brought you into this world I cant take you out!! LOL…

Joanne 2 years ago

All I can say is THANK YOU!!! I have 2 girls & a boy…and every day is a challenge to know who is inhabiting their bodies. We always say that when they wake up a teenager, their brains fall out. They don’t get them back until they appreciate us & that’s not until after college…estimated age 21-24 years old. The above personalities indeed apply to both boys & girls…and you made my husband & laugh until we cried with the descriptions. :)

clovia 2 years ago

I really don’t like to burst anyones bubble, but pay back is hell.
Sometimes we forget we put our parents through the same thing, and the majority of them survived. Remember, “What goes around comes around” so obviously it’s our turn. Hang on and just keep loving them.

My Kids Mom 2 years ago

I have a nine year old boy who fits all those personalities to a T. It isn’t just girls. Now, I also have a 12 y.o. boy who is very different. While I ALWAYS know how 9yo feels, I NEVER know how 12yo feels. He either has no feelings or he keeps it all to himself. I am totally shut out. Can I put the two of them in a paper bag and shake it up to redistribute these traits more evenly?

Chandra London 2 years ago

Marcia Ferris, You should read the one about the boys. You'll recognize some of it and probably fall over laughing!

Marcia Ferris 2 years ago

My 4 year old girl will hit this at the same time I hit menopause. My husband and boys are already planning on taking up hunting at that time and coming home when everything settles, ten years later!

Matthew Scott Pinks 2 years ago

I know! Neanderthalithic, unenlightened, patristic, retrogressive and outright evil aren't I? To think that boys and girls aren't all JUST THE SAME! The nerve! (I'm fearful of the Thought Police, especially regarding teaching; how could I be trusted with a classroom thinking such terrible things? Maybe if I go to Sexism Rehab…?)

Carol Gaunt 2 years ago

Scotty, say it isn't so. Surely you are jesting!

Carol Gaunt 2 years ago

Scotty, say it isn't so. Surely you are jesting!

Matthew Scott Pinks 2 years ago

Amazing that anyone, semi-tongue in cheek that it is, can get away with writing all this. Middle-school teachers (and parents) have known for millenia that GIRLS hitting this age behave differently than boys, have different attitudes and aptitudes and bear the onslaught of the adolescent hormonal hurricane very differently. Last I checked though, admitting that (or that any of those differences might continue beyond the early teen years,) is pure rank SEXISM, DISCRIMINATION and is ILLEGAL. Our educational system, employment system and now military systems are all baased upon the solid Truth that boys and girls are EQUAL, that is "THE SAME AS EACH OTHER." Contradicting that doctrine is not allowed.

Matthew Scott Pinks 2 years ago

Amazing that anyone, semi-tongue in cheek that it is, can get away with writing all this. Middle-school teachers (and parents) have known for millenia that GIRLS hitting this age behave differently than boys, have different attitudes and aptitudes and bear the onslaught of the adolescent hormonal hurricane very differently. Last I checked though, admitting that (or that any of those differences might continue beyond the early teen years,) is pure rank SEXISM, DISCRIMINATION and is ILLEGAL. Our educational system, employment system and now military systems are all baased upon the solid Truth that boys and girls are EQUAL, that is "THE SAME AS EACH OTHER." Contradicting that doctrine is not allowed.

Shannon Ebbitt 2 years ago

Thank you so so much for posting this. My daughter is 10 1/2 and driving me crazy. She has all of these people in her plus the victim that was mentioned in the comments. I thought I was doing such a horrible job with her because I am perpetually frustrated bordering on infuriated with her but I see that all little girls are just like this. It's so good to hear it from other people.

Amber Smith Stoknes 2 years ago

Kristie Dagenhart, I have 3 boys ages 20,18, and 12. They are so much easier than my 1 girl. Boys get mad and go to their room or whatever but are fine in a couple of minutes. Girls pout for days!!

Amber Smith Stoknes 2 years ago

I am so glad I read this. My only girl, my youngest of 4 is 10, just started her period, and the emotional roller coaster has already started. I'm glad I'm not alone. :)

Debbie Jones 2 years ago

Amen!

Debbie Jones 2 years ago

Amen! Moms need to look at themselves as part of the problem.

Debbie Jones 2 years ago

Thank God! Finally a positive comment in all this! I have twin 13 year old daughters. Yes, twins! I have not experienced any of this negative, horrible behaviour either. I treat them the way I want to be treated. If we asked our daughters how they would rate us do you you think you might just learn something about yourself as a mom, too? My girls are sweet, kind and respectful. I, too, want all you moms of little girls to know that this can be one of the most joyful things you’ll ever experience. Treat them with love and respect, you will get the same. Scream and yell, you’ll get the same. Ignore them and make no time for them, you’ll get the same. I’m thrilled to have daughters. It’s what I prayed for and what I got. :)

Tracey Raddin Page 2 years ago

The middle school lady told me yesterday to make sure I signed her up for DRAMA! I can so relate.ADHD, PMS and only child.

Candace Chesebro Beller 2 years ago

You just wait. There's more coming1

Candace Chesebro Beller 2 years ago

My daughter is all these and then some at the ripe old age of 15. I love when she says "I'm not four!" Then STOP acting like you are!

Valerie Lynn Coulter 2 years ago

I laughed so hard at "She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.
I have a 14 1/2 yr old boy. sympathies.

Val 2 years ago

I laughed so hard at “She once asked to go to the emergency room because she bent her hair.
I have a 14 1/2 yr old boy. sympathies.

Elisabeth Empowering Parents 2 years ago

I'd kind of like to read that story, Kristin!

Kelly Malone 2 years ago

I just want to say that I have three daughters now aged 32, 30 and 27 but once they weren't that old and I thought that I would not survive. They would scream/whine at me that I liked the dog better than them and I would say to them "the dog is the only one who is glad when I come in the door – why wouldn't I like the dog best?" They have now grown (thank god) and I survived (thank god and a few glasses of wine at necessary moments). I know where you are coming from and I can only say stick with it – it does eventually (in a long, long time that will seem even longer) get better! Go Moms

Alison Haremski Kinsman 2 years ago

OMG! That was simply hysterical! I have three daughters, the oldest is turning 11 in November and your entry is SO on the mark. Thank you for the laugh and reassuring me I am not alone. LOL

Marlene Goldbronn Kimberly 2 years ago

so funny…makes me happy I had 2 boys!

Debbie 2 years ago

OMG!! I forgot about the “daddy’s little girl”. That is so very true!!

Debbie 2 years ago

Well, I have to say that my girl was easier. Yes, she had her moods, etc. BUT, at least I could talk with her. She is 33 now and she still gets her moods and sometimes I know gets mad at me for whatever injustice she percieves that I’ve done. Sometimes she goes a week without calling (she is out of state) and then when she does, we talk it over and she’s fine.
However, I also had two boys and let me tell you, when each of them hit 13, all “hell” broke loose. I kept asking what did you do with my child?
Boys aren’t known to talk about feelings, etc. and I found that to be very true. If they were upset with something, they would clam up and head out the door. Very different parenting boys!

And then, I think of my poor mom – she had 5 girls and one boy. Can you imagine what it must have been like when all of us were at home? The poor woman didn’t have a prayer!!!!

Kari Bacon 2 years ago

Hilarious and perfect all in one. I too have an 11 year old and now I understand her so much better. Thank you.

Alex Abendanio 2 years ago

Wait til 13 when the monster takes over their body. This monster does not care what gender they are. This monster takes over all 13 yr olds.

Me 2 years ago

Thank you for a very accurate and super funny description. I was thinking that yes my kid has those personalities – you hit it spot on- but it isn’t something for moms with young children to dread. Those 3 positive ones are so amazing – to see your kid grow into a mature young lady, be a bff at times and still snuggle,even if not all the time – makes it worth it!

Randy Bullock 2 years ago

I teach this age kids, 30 at a time, 7 personalities per kid….thats 210 to deal with in a 45 minute period!

Michelle 2 years ago

I have not laughed this hard in I don’t know how long. I read it my tween, a month shy of her 12th bd…laughed so hard through it I almost could read it aloud, I am still wiping tears away from my checks and my daughter (the Evil Twin, from the blog’s description) is staring at me with a similar to the expression on the girls face above.

withheld for safety 2 years ago

Mine is 12 and unfortunately her natural personality is the Devil Twin. We see that about 80% of the time and have for years now. Which means there is no “coming back to herself” there is just 18 and get out. Sad, I wanted to like my daughter.

Tiffany Withrow 2 years ago

Thank you so much for putting this out there. I have a 10 year old daughter and a 12 year old son and I have to say that we have two others as well. The terrorist negotiator, and the Shrink. The Negotiator responds to chores and requests with “Well, it’s just that I HAVE to do this, experienced this, broke my nail. Therefore there is NO WAY I can do A B or C”. The Shrink goes in with “You just don’t get how difficult this can be. Maybe if AB or C had been different.”

Sherrie Roecker 2 years ago

mine has the "Drivers ED Teacher" where he sits in the back of the car and tells me how to drive… I was unaware they now gave drivers license to 11 year olds??

Pam @ Whatevs… 2 years ago

Hahahaha! This is hilarious. So, are you saying that’s why when my baby was born and we discovered it was a girl, not three hours later, my mom was laughing and going, “I’m so glad you had a girl!” It wasn’t a happy laugh, more of an evil stepmother cackle type laugh…

Valerie Freidinger Stuart 2 years ago

There is also "the Victim"… She who believes that your life goal is to ruin her joy and deprive her of any happiness at all. *Sigh* Shoot me now.

Mysti Harrison 2 years ago

Are you watching my house from the tree house outside? This is my daughter to a tee.

Patricia Finnegan-Wait 2 years ago

Kait thought she was losing her mind and so did I but then mother nature kicked in an it was a bit better. My only suggestion is to buy PMS Strength Midol and both of you take them. Good luck this to shall pass mine is now 19 things are much better and very proud of her but I do suggest you buy stock in Midol, it may help pay for her college education.

Tonya Shaffer Stillwell 2 years ago

Lol! I just showed this to my husband and we got quite a laugh. His comment, " It's nice to know we are not alone." Lol!

Trudy Chapman 2 years ago

Love it!

Louise Gleeson 2 years ago

Brilliant…bent hair, it's awful isn't it?

Rachel Moreno 2 years ago

True there are more personalities waiting to come out, I have a 17 & 15 yr old and it doesn't look like they will outgrow it til they have children of their own ;).

Kristina Heller 2 years ago

Audrey Grossman, I totally agree. I know that I acted like the girl described, and now as an adult woman; I can safely say that I am not mentally ill.

Kristina Heller 2 years ago

I have 3 boys, ages 7-12. I also have a daughter, who is 18 months old. I love my daughter to pieces, but she is harder than my boys were…already, at the age of 18 months. She gets into plenty of mischief! Boys are so easy.

Jacob Horning 2 years ago

The Whore: Age: (Upon Losing virginity).
The whore comes around 100% of the time from when a girl enters our worldly realm. She never leaves and will continue to slag around 100% of the time until death.

Steve Rinehart 2 years ago

Remove the third personality and insert:

3. The Meathead (age “I dunno”): This personality doesn’t know what he did an hour ago. He doesn’t know why he just did that. He doesn’t know what assignments are due tomorrow. He doesn’t know where he’s supposed to be this weekend or what he’s supposed to bring. But he knows every. last. detail. about his current (and every previous) “Minecraft” game, which Digimon “digivolve” into what next level, what LEGO bricks are required to build the Millennium Falcon and what time every rerun of “Adventure Time” will be airing. Unfortunately, this is the default setting.

and you have, from my experience, Tween Boys (including mine).

Kathie Gialde 2 years ago

I have two daughters, grown now, with 5 granddaughters. I sit back and watch them going through what I did. Karma for sure. But at my house, when their moms are not there, they are sweet little angles. Much better one at a time, or maybe two. But so much better without mom.

Angela Guccione Borman 2 years ago

I have 4 girls ages 12, 10, 8, & 6. This describes the first 2 to a T.

Brigitte Page 2 years ago

This is great,

Sue D’Nem 2 years ago

Better living through chemistry.

Seriously.

When my daughter hit puberty, it was a nightmare! All of these things, plus when her monthly cycle hit…… well….. let’s just say it was NOT pretty. Her grades dropped, she missed assignments, she became a stark-raving-mad moody chick. I took her to the doctor and she went on the pill. NOT for birth control (if fact, her doctor even told her that if she becomes sexually active this dosage won’t effectively prevent pregnancy). Just something to balance her hormones so there are not the extremes she had been experiencing.

Now, over 5 years later, I have no regrets and have no doubt that we made the right decision.

Yes. Hormonal changes cause issues with our teen girls, but they do not need to suffer. The pill is probably one of the most researched medication. It is safe and effective. Talk to your daughter’s doctor and ask if something can help her if moods and emotions are extreme and are negatively impacting her life.

Sharon Abbott 2 years ago

exactly…I had three and they are all grown up now…I must have done something right.

David Moskowitz 2 years ago

Sounds just like my soon to be 7 year old Rachel. Lol.

Judy 2 years ago

I have four grown children, 3 girls and 1 boy. My theory: Freeze dry them when they are 11 and unthaw at 21 and sometimes that might be too soon. Good luck to all of you. I am a survivor :).

Audrey Grossman 2 years ago

seriously? this is typical, healthy behavior for a tween girl exploring her identity and growing up. This is not mental illness!

EricTheRed 2 years ago

Perfect – My 5-year-old has already mastered this, complete with the pouty lips and puppy dog eyes and the “whimper”. I already tell her, “Awwww, that’s so cute. Too bad that doesn’t work on me.” And she storms out in a huff!

Sherry Vanderford Williams 2 years ago

Come on parents kids are just kids…. stop putting labels on them. Ask God to help you understand your child. Find their strong points and weak points and be a parent…………. you have the ability through God to mold your child. this is a bunch of crap! Sorry for the harsh words! been there and done that no tee shirt!

Dajhena Colbert Tty 2 years ago

tweens definitely goes thru alot of changes, but wait til she becomes a teenager, now tht has mood swings along with other things mother nature swings her way.

L.A. Say 2 years ago

Tween girls do go through so much, but when they have a problem, trust and believe you and the whole neighborhood will hear about it.

Chandra Carroll 2 years ago

Very soothing article…my blood pressure just lowered…LOL

Christina Nordeen 2 years ago

I love the Winston Churchill quote, "Keep calm & carry on" – it's helping cope & maybe somewhat enjoy the teenage years!

Marnie Vickery 2 years ago

The other day my husband met The Devil’s Twin, I told him good luck and don’t call me with your problems – he’s such a drama queen lol. The Chiropractor has met her too…he has a daughter…so I just laugh and wish him luck.

Charity Johnson 2 years ago

Oh yes, my now 16 yr old daughter has all these and a few more. The cranky old lady is the most common these days. we've also recently been seeing the one we call "the parent" who corrects everything the actual parent says or does.

Kathie Doben 2 years ago

Well here I am. I am alive and so is my daughter and we are good friends. Hugs

Lisa Hall Hyppa 2 years ago

I call it the terrible 12's…… Absolutely hated it with my first who is now 14 and finally over that "rainbow of hormone hell……it does get a little better…..usually takes Middle school and some middle school hard knocks to snap em out of it….in my case anyway.

Nancy Garcia 2 years ago

This is sad and clearly scary mommy has no idea how to teach the tween to deal with life as she grows. No adult parent should vent adult problems to their you g child over latte, let alone view her responses and behaviors as personality changes. Truly the child needs more direction and encouragement and love. Less judgement, a criticism.

Rachael Hoopes Frey 2 years ago

No offence but i’m glad I have boys, not saying I will never run into this, but so far luck has been in my favor! Good luck to you all of you mothers with daughters, must be a female hormonal thing:)

REPLY

Anonomys 2 years ago

No offence but i’m glad I have boys, not saying I will never run into this, but so far luck has been in my favor! Good luck to you all of you mothers with daughters, must be a female hormonal thing:)

Maria Greener 2 years ago

There's a lot of pain in these posts, and I have felt every one of them. I am a firm believer that these behavorial problems are the result of chemical imbalances in the brain. Until congress recognizes tha mental ilness is a justifyable illness, of which many of THEM suffer from), funding and research money will be hard to come by.

Linda Parker-Eaton 2 years ago

Kristie Dagenhart I hate "liking" this but it's my way of saying, "Yeah I understand and I am there in that same hell at my house". . . . !3 sucks and I don't think 14 or 15 will be any better . . .

Tammy Morris 2 years ago

Oh, my gosh! Is your daughter my granddaughter? Sounds just like her!

Danielle Rubino Yannuzzi 2 years ago

I have 3 girls as well. I have a 17 year old going to college, a 9 year old and a 5 year old going to kindergarten. The 5 year old is worse then the 2 older ones!

Stacey Weaver 2 years ago

My two year old had already split in two: The Sweetheart and the (non-verbal) Drama Queen. There’s no daddy though, so we get to skip Daddy’s Little Girl. Thank God!!

Delaney Jefferson Rhea 2 years ago

Perfectly put!

Lauren 2 years ago

My 8.5 year old has been all of these, but we see the face of devil twin way more frequently than any of the others.. In all seriousness.. Did you ever question wether something was ” wrong” with her?! Sometimes I think I need to be medicated to deal with all the personalities!!ahh!!

Merrill B. Hunter 2 years ago

My 11 year old also has that cranky old lady one, plus the anxiety ridden one. Note: the devil's twin generally is always present when dealing with younger siblings. I swear I only had 4 or 5 different personalities….times change…

Samantha Sofge Glenn 2 years ago

I have one boy and 3 girls, Lord help us all when the time comes. They are almost 5, 3, and 7 months, but i swear my oldest one is a teenager trapped in a little body.

Marci Krueger 2 years ago

Get a grip and remember when you were a tween.

MomChalant 2 years ago

I, myself was a teenage girl 2 years ago. I feel your pain. We’re hard to deal with.

Carrie 2 years ago

Oh, my God. I might cry. You are so right. You have no idea how right you are.

Mine is a 15-year old I acquired back in March. I love her and I love her father. Dearly.

Just last this weekend I swore she hated me and hadn’t spoken a word. She knows how to load the dishwasher better than me (though she NEVER does) and she knows how to fold the towels better than me (though she NEVER does).

You are totally my new hero.

Jennifer Lynn Morrison 2 years ago

As a mom of three girls, 11, 9 and 7…… I hear ya and my own mother tells me…."you just wait"…..wait for what one of their heads to pop off and pull a bettlejuice move…….. no she tells me, just wait for when the hormones start raging through their beautiful little bodies….. PMS should be loads of fun right?
Thanks for these blogs….. They are like therapy!

Amanda Martin 2 years ago

Oh dear. My 4yo is already like this. I have some fun years ahead! God help me.

Evelyn 2 years ago

Cheryl ~ Totally agree with you. My daughter just turned 12 and I have 2 boys ages 5 and 6. I thought I wanted another girl and realized I was so lucky to end up with boys. I will take the punching, dirt, fighting and jumping off the furniture any day over having to deal with her mood swings. I have learned not to speak to her in the morning until she decides to say something. I just never know which personality in lurking in that pretty little head of hers.

Rusty 2 years ago

I have two boys (18 & 11), and one girl (13) – when I told her about this post, she laughed heartily with the spirit of one deep in self-knowing… especially the “I know” line – LOL

Great assessment – and yes, boys are different. Sooooooo different!

Kathy Mateus 2 years ago

This is exactly my daughter at yes age 11….WARNING…this is still her at age 13!!

Melanie 2 years ago

I have a 15 yr old and 11 yr old girls. What was I thinking when I thought that was the perfect age gap?! I have been dealing with this syndrome for years with no relief in sight. I have increased the dosage of alcohol consumed weekly.

Kristie Dagenhart 2 years ago

Just so you know, this applies to 13yr old boys. I'm in hell too,
H E L P

Mary Anne 2 years ago

I have three daughters, ages 25, 16 and 14. The 25-year-old almost believes I’m a human worth having a conversation with *even* when I’m not doling out money! We’re BFF’s the majority of the time (and even went to Europe on a 19-day vacation just the two of us!); exceptions to that are when I ask questions regarding *her* personal life (i.e. where are you moving to at the end of your lease, are you dating anyone, how’s the job search going… etc.) The 16-year-old senior in high school is in the protracted Einsteinian phase with brief stop-overs in the drama queen/baby mode and a drive-by in mature one; all remaining time is spent in Devil’s twin. The 14-year-old junior in high school spends, believe it or not, the majority of time in the mature one mode with brief stopovers in drama queen/baby mode and rare visits in Einsteinland. I wonder if it has to do with them being one and two academic years ahead of their same-aged peers?? Why is the last one the one that gives me the least problems? Is she waiting to turn devil’s twin on me once she’s the only one home???(There’s also a 23-year-old son in the mix that has given me more grey hair than the girls put together, but that’s a post for another day.) However, the best praise I’ve gotten about any of them is “what a nice girl/boy they are” from other parents after my child has spent time at their friend’s house. If my child can behave properly when I’m not around to harp and hound them, I must be doing something right and they must be listening after all!

Kristi 2 years ago

My 2yo is NEVER going to be a tween!! *runs off to find a magic genie*

Felice Luftschein 2 years ago

I thought I would avoid all this by having boys- WRONG! My almost 11 year old boy was acting like a PMSing preteen (3-5 bitchy baby)girl the other day and actually said "I don't know why I'm crying- I'm not even sad." Yay hormones.

Trudi 2 years ago

As you can see , my phone “corrects” things and makes me look even dumber !

Trudi 2 years ago

So true! Both of my kids are teens, and they either tell me said the wrong thing correct any mistake I made even if I self corrected first. Sometimes they as why I Saudi that wrong, and I tell them it’s because they enjoy criticizing me so much.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Hairs standing up on the back of my neck. My daughter is 3.

Heather @ Kraus House Mom 2 years ago

I swear I’m already there and my girls are only 7 and 5. My husband keeps warning me that it’s going to get worse. I tell him it’ll get worse for him because I’ll be committed to an institution by the time they’re 10 and 8 if they keep it up.

Karen Boutara 2 years ago

Totally agree with all of it! I have a 14 yr old, a 12 yr old and a 3 yr old…'nuff said!

Tay 2 years ago

Hmm so are you saying this is normal? Than maybe the problem is I have 3 girls in the 10-13 age range and a mimmicking 7yo, I think the “evil twin” is contagious! Once one goes there, too often the others and even the husband follow. AHHH!!! Give me strength to survive!

Joanne 2 years ago

What if my daughter isn’t even 3 yet and I have already met all these personalities?! Send whiskey!!!

Shannon Murphy Linville 2 years ago

My daughter has the 8th personality now that she is 15. I call it the cranky old lady. "The music is too loud, it's too hot outside, I'm hungry now, I'm bored, why didn't you take me with you?"

Kat 2 years ago

My daughter is turning thirteen next month and I have seen most of these personalities. It ain’t pretty!

Jennifer M Sturdivant 2 years ago

AMEN I have 3 girls also… Lord save us all

Molly Paulson Vervair 2 years ago

THANK YOU so much for this post! I was positive that I was a terrible mother who was raising a monster! I am unbelievably thankful to know that it is normal (and that it will eventually pass – around 25 by the sounds of it).

Debby Lewis 2 years ago

I have not one, not two but THREE girls! The oldest is almost 15, the middle is almost 8 and the baby is almost 6. Believe me when I say, these are not too far off the mark. And it seems to infect the two younger ones. So now rather than dealing with one teen and two little ones it seems I have three teens at any given moment. I swear if I make it to 40 without a massive breakdown I'll consider myself lucky!

MissySavage 2 years ago

Oh it very much gets worse! Wait til the whole “pre-(moody-whiny-i’m bein a lil *blep*-snot) menstrual syndrome phase gets goin… It’s so much fun! Not! :)
Good luck especially if she’s already got the drama queen goin on, but you’ll need more than luck…I suggest a cheap bottle of Wild Vines Blackberry Merlot, headphones & a hot bath!

MissySavage 2 years ago

I laughed so hard when I read this. You just described my daughter, who also happens to be just months away from the glamour of age 12! She however has a couple more personalities to go along with these 7! But hey what can I say, after all she is her momma’s girl. Because one thing that is definitely scary, was realizing that she acts JUST like me…..eehhh! I feel sorry for my husband for the next few years that’s for sure!

Kristin Raaum Rubino 2 years ago

Puhlease. Very cute story to describe EVERY tween girl in America. I cannot imagine if these girls were to turn the table and describe us- their mothers.

Lisa G. 2 years ago

Sooo glad I don’t have girls. My sister’s daughter had a complete meltdown during “Pretty Pretty Princess” with me at age 4 and I knew I couldn’t deal. The whining, crying and drama; and that’s just my sister. That apple didn’t fall far from that tree.

My eldest is going off to college in 6 days – I’m busy having a breakdown. Pass the wine, vodka and Xanax – I’m going to need it all.

Angel Weers 2 years ago

My girl is only 8 and has 5 (okay, maybe 6) of these people living inside of her already…

Christina Solis Thompson 2 years ago

Oh this couldn't be any more true!

Heather 2 years ago

We are going through the “Deaf Phase” where only I-phone sounds provoke an immediate response. Any other response is “Huh? Or What?”

qotdr 2 years ago

Too funny. I remember when I was about 16 thinking the end of the world was near because I couldn’t find my new “fancy” panties with the playboy bunny logo on them. They turned up weeks later caught up in a pocket of a fitted sheet. And fyi yes, I was still a virgin then- I think. I’m 50 now so the memory bank is deleting some details-LOL.

Chris 2 years ago

LOL Karma does suck Rebecca…..until…..Your daughter has kids of her own. My adult daughter has 4 kids. 2 of them are just like she was and they are only 4 & 6. When she complains I just chuckle.

Kelly Misuraca 2 years ago

“good friends”. Not “food friends…”

Kelly Misuraca 2 years ago

DEAD ON! Wow. I’m
Just thankful for two boys to (sometimes) dispell the tension when drama queen, baby, or Devil’s twin show up to “play…” I’m also thankful for some great red wine and food friend’s to laugh about it with me…!

Lisa Weinstein 2 years ago

You described my daughter…..and she is 16!!! Brace yourself, you are in for a long, bumpy ride! haha!
Lisa

Dawn 2 years ago

I have a 15 year old who has a lot of those traits and more. If you think tweens are bad… well you are in for a heck of a roller coaster ride with the rest of the years. I ask, were we this bad? I am scared to call my parents and find out (because I know it’s probably true! HA!).

Ariana 2 years ago

O-M-G, my 5 year old is in full on dress rehearsal for tween-dom. God help us all.

Missy 2 years ago

So when do the tween years officially start???

My daughter is only 7.5 and you described her multiple personalities to a T!

Lord help me if it gets worse because I’m already almost at the point of insanity.

Hannah Joy 2 years ago

My mum had the most amazing strategy to deal with my tumultuous teens. She understood that being a teen is scary and confusing and emotional and overwhelming. Rather than meeting my irrational fiery storms with more rules and boundaries and rationalities (which would have made my desperate hope for autonomy even more desperate), she would run me a hot bath, light some candles and put out some lollies. An hour of water therapy and I had my peace again (and ever more respect for my mother). Ten years and two children of my own later and my mum is my very best friend. So grateful she took the time to understand me – just like you’ve done with your daughter. I hope I can be as loving and understanding with my own when she is screaming profanities at me when I tell her she’s not going to some party. Keep up the good work mumma, you’re doing great :)
*p.s. I am writing this ten years later, but I lost that evil sister personality at 17, and she was my best friend by 18. You don’t need to wait ten years for peace, just a few. xx

Manda 2 years ago

Sooo… If i’m due in october i’ve got roughly 9 years 4months to prepare? Lol, thanks for the heads up!

Laura 2 years ago

It’s only just beginning. It will get worse as she nears age 16, but at about 16-1/2, she will start to mature and you will love to be around her again. (I have two daughters, who are now 17 and 23.)

Rachel 2 years ago

My daughter is 11, and I have seen all of these!! In the morning, her head does an a horror movie spin and she oozes evil. Definately NOT a morning person. I feel privaliged that the BFF comes out fairly regularly, ironically enough on payday, and that she wants to go to the mall.

Bambi 2 years ago

OMGosh, you have described my daughter a ‘T’!! She is 11yrs old & will b 12 in September & the past few months have been insane!! Glad to hear it is not just her!! GOD help us all, I have no clue how to help her!!

Bozwa 2 years ago

oh my GOSH! My 2 1/2 year old has mastered Daddy’s Little Girl! Right down to playing us against eachother!! And hse’s already SUCH a drama queen. :::sigh:::!!

Kim 2 years ago

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud! This is so my daughter! Some days she can cycle through all if the personalities in no time flat! Only 6 more months and she will be 13-officially a teen. So much more to look forward to…..help me!

Rachel 2 years ago

My tween boy is (mostly) just one personality, and it’s a good one. My 4 year old boy, however, has all these personalities and a few extra! Baby girl on the way, and she’s already a feisty one. I swear her brothers never beat me up so much from the inside. With 2 big brothers to protect her, look out world!

jen 2 years ago

I feel you. Many much hugs from one scared mom to another.

Sharon 2 years ago

I had 4 to deal with 2 at one time (twins). I had to endure it for 18 years. They were all born 6 years apart. Now the youngest is 30 and they all adore me. It gets better lol if you can survive it.

neo 2 years ago

Oh dear, is this what my baby girl will turn out in a few years. YIKES. And sadly, I remember being this awful to my mom when I was a tween.

Pat 2 years ago

I always say that if my daughter had been first born she would have been an only child.

Alissa 2 years ago

My 12yo boy is a drama king in his own right but this is the stage where I can finally say that boys are easier than girls. Marginally.

LL 2 years ago

CRACK. ING. UP.
All I can say is “Just you wait, Henry Higgins”. I have two girls, ages 19 and 21. I’m not going to say that it gets better or that it gets worse. My two completely switched personalities around age 12 and 10. The older one had been a complete angel, the younger one is the reason we only have two. And then all of a sudden, they literally turned the tables. The younger one is a complete pleasure to be around; the older one is really only nice to us when she wants money. That said, you do have alot to look forward to, and I love your attitude about just surviving. That will take you far. Good luck!

Erin 2 years ago

My 3 yr old has MASTER these already especially the “daddies little girl” Pray for me.

grownandflown 2 years ago

You may have forgotten one – the mirror tween but of the funhouse variety. She watches you for clues and takes it all in like a video recorder. When you least expect it, your words or gestures may appear, surprising you in how much your daughter reminds you of yourself.

Rachel 2 years ago

I completely understand… though I have all of those personalities living in my own head. It’s not fun… Hopefully she grows out of it, but in the meantime, there’s always wine! :)

jari 2 years ago

spot on, needed a laugh. just dropped my nearly 11 yr old off at sleep-away camp for 2 weeks. though its the first time she has gone away i’m left with a sense of sadness but also relief… the last weeks of school coupled with packing – holy shit the personality shifts were making my head spin. sybil (sans the split pea soup spitting) was in the hood!

gina 2 years ago

SO SO true, Christi! I have a “granny” bellyaching on the couch today!

gina 2 years ago

Drama Queen here, with the 12 year old- sometimes venturing out to Einstein, on occasion. HARD HARD stuff! This makes me feel better. Thanks!

C Love 2 years ago

I have 3 girls and my 9 yr old is already like this. Me and dad realized not to long ago that all 4 of our kids will be teenagers at the same time. What were we thinking!? LOL

Jason Tweed 2 years ago

My daughter once yelled at me for “sitting there, breathing like that”. She got extra angry when that made me crack up.

Anna Barker 2 years ago

Wow! I have two girls, 13 and 7, and so far (I know I shouldn’t say it out loud) so good! They do not have multiple personalities, are generally sweet and easy going, and fun to be around. Maybe I will pay for it later, but I wouldn’t trade them for a boy, ever. I’m not saying this to boast, just to give encouragement to those moms of younger girls. They don’t all turn into unbearable ogres!

Rebecca 2 years ago

You hit the nail on the head! I have two girls 11 going on 20 and 9 going on 4. On a good day. Damn you mom and your ‘I hope your kids are exactly like you and give you twice the trouble’. Karma sucks ass LOL

Chris 2 years ago

Mine just turned 12 and this is SO true of her! I’ve lived through it before with her 26 yr old sister. It’s ugly, sometimes it lasts for years and years. Even in to their 20’s these personalities, and others, can pop out in a heartbeat. I hope I survive this one. I think she has more personalities than her sister did.

Amanda 2 years ago

Ack! I’m so glad I have boys! I’d rather be tackled than live with that many personalities!

Good luck!

PaulaMcC 2 years ago

Oh God, my 8 year old (nine in 4 weeks) has every single one of these personalities. I am just so glad to learn that I’m not alone. She’ll be over the worst by age 15 or so right? Only another 6 years. …… help!

Stephanie R 2 years ago

Ha! My daughter is almost 10 and I have seen each one of these personalities at least once. My boys are older and are NOTHING like this. Heres hoping that we all survive this age!

Love 4 years ago

Oh Jeeze. All those people are living in my 9 year old. Wow. Shoot me now, because both of us probably won’t survive her 11 and 12 !

b harper 4 years ago

I’m so looking forward to all of these in my own daughter…

Jennifer Burden @WorldMomsBlog 4 years ago

I feel like I want to yell out, like as though I’m rolling dice in craps, “C’mon BFF!!!” after reading this.

I have two little girls.

Jen

Davina Lock 4 years ago

You forgot Miss Financially Independent… she wants to be on her own, pay her own way, show how responsible she is…until she needs gas, groceries, car insurance, a doctor’s appt, dentist appt, or just some money for “the weekend” because she spent her last $6 on Starbucks.

Rachael 4 years ago

This is awesome and so very accurate. My partner is hoping we don’t have a girl in this belly, because she doesn’t want to deal with the tween-teen stage, lol.

Marta 4 years ago

Oh great, my daughter’s turning one in a week I guess I better really start savoring these moments =)

Gfabi 4 years ago

Of course dear.

Sarah 4 years ago

This is why I Screamed at the doctor when my daughter was born “You lying SOB I know you cut something off sew it back on!”

Johanna 4 years ago

I’ve been getting a lot of the BFF lately. Which would be wonderful if I didn’t know that meant the Devil’s Twin will soon come to compensate for all the BFF time.

Kimberly Turner 4 years ago

When I hear new moms talk about how their family/friends tell them how girls are easier then boys I just want to slap them! “You just wait” is usually my response! (while I smile and laugh my evil laugh within…saving my tears for later)

IASoupMama 4 years ago

And this is why, when the ultrasound tech said the twins were girls I just laughed… Poor hubby — when our oldest child (a boy) leaves for college, he’ll be left at home with three teenaged daughters and a menopausal wife…

Erin 4 years ago

Oh crap! ………I just had a girl.

wickedgirl 4 years ago

My oldest daughter is 13. I do believe I have seen all of these personalities and then some. My other daughter is 10. We already warned her if she acts like her sister we are packing her bags and shipping her off to Zimbabwe.

Andrea 4 years ago

This totally describes my 11 year old! She is at the phase of I am always right and mom is always wrong. I try to compliment her and she bites my head off, I tell her fine she looks horrible and she bites my head off. Finally in desperation I gave her a piece of paper and told her to write down what she would like me to say to her at any given moment so I’m not saying the wrong things all the time~

Kim 4 years ago

OMG….you just described my 9 year old daughter!! HA! I feel your pain.

Kim

Abi 4 years ago

7?!!! Seriously? I am bowing down to you right now. I don’t know how you do it.

Claire Harris 4 years ago

Oh crumbs, I have 3 girls. The first two are polar opposites at the moment and the youngest is too young to work out which way she’s going. I struggle to keep up already. Maybe packing my bags would be the best option??

MOM 4 years ago

Oh believe me there are more personalities out there! I have 7 kids ranging in age from 25-12 and I have seen them all.
I feel like if I EVER get them all grown and on their own I will have to have one hell of a celebration but by then I may be too feeble!
Dealing right now with 4 teens @ one time and my head is spinning. The 21 and older crew well they know it all and when they can’t pay for it ….you know who does! the neverending bank of MOM.
No wonder we’re broke! No wonder there are no great romantic trips….parties tend to happen while we’re away. We’ve learned!
Good luck….parenthood is one hell of a ride!

Christina 4 years ago

Oh tooooo hilarious! I swear my six-year-old is already demonstrating several of these personalities.

Nichole Van Hammond 4 years ago

This so my daughter!! Thanks for making me laugh so hard i am crying!! You simply make my day.

Anthony from CharismaticKid 4 years ago

Ok ill do that one now.

Carolyn 4 years ago

Enjoyed this. I have a 3 y.o. and she’s a mix between a Momma’s girl and Miss Independent.
Sometimes I feel like I get a glimpse of the future, and I fear for me.

Abi 4 years ago

Thank you for the comment. Did you add scarymommy.com or to your reader? I ask because I realized today that I had set up my feedburner address incorrectly. If you subscribed to mompaperscissors you may have to do it again. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thanks again for your kind words.

Moomser 4 years ago

HILARIOUS! Also, you’ve officially convinced me to let my girl get to 5 (five is easier than two, right?) and then just keeping her there forever!

Christi 4 years ago

I also have an 11 year old daughter – this is SO TRUE!! I would like to add one as well. The Granny, age 98: every ache and pain and headache and scratch and bruise is some ominous sign of impending doom. Similar to the drama queen and the baby, but she just reminds me of my grandma sometimes when she starts going on and on about her ailments!

buffi 4 years ago

Oh, I have NEVER done that *coughcough* at least not that I can remember….

Headacheslayer 4 years ago

This is so hysterically true! As the mom of a 16 yr old girl…just wait til she’s a teenager. Vodka? Child’s play. You need 140 proof Rum from the Grand Cayman’s just to cope.

I have to say though, my 9yo son is a bit of a Drama Queen….so I’m not winning any battles OR the war.

Mandy 4 years ago

I agree with you on Abby Lee! Her voice and tact remind me of Sam Kinison (sp?). I have no defense except that I have terrible insomnia and I was in a total tv coma. I could have been watching an informercial for a pooper scooper and never known the difference. Sad but true.

Abi 4 years ago

Dance Moms?! The daughter that inspired this post is addicted to that show! Abby Lee’s voice makes me want to run screaming from the room. I’m not judging but I am laughing. :)

Abi 4 years ago

PERFECT!!!

Abi 4 years ago

I use the vodka to help swallow the Xanax. ; )

amy 4 years ago

Can I have some vodka coupons and emotional eating ones too. I have a 9 yr old going thru the stages and a 7 yr old waiting in the wings. Lord help me.

Abi 4 years ago

You are not alone! Thanks for such a sweet comment.

Abi 4 years ago

I love to make people pee. Wait. What? You know what I mean, right?

Abi 4 years ago

I have a seven year old daughter too. I feel your pain.

Abi 4 years ago

Oh yes, I have seen the manipulator too. Most of the time she visits my husband (because he’s an easy target) but in times of desperation she will visit me as well.

Abi 4 years ago

Awwww. My mom has such nice things to say about me – for the most part. I’ll take every word as a compliment because I know that’s how she meant it. Right, mom?

Fern 4 years ago

Love it!!! Made my day!

Katie Smith 4 years ago

That made my morning! You described my almost 12 year old to a tee!! I am still laughing!

Krista 4 years ago

Hysterical. And, yeah, that sounds about right. I think that’s what I remember from being 11. And gives me the warm and fuzzies thinking about my daughter turning that age.

Gfabi 4 years ago

I also have a beautiful little girl with seven personalities that mingle and merge without warning. On the surface she is perfect in every way: smart, witty, oh so cute, caring, compassionate, and empathic. Most often I get to see BFF. Isn’t that nice? But wait, there’s more. Baby and Drama Queen pop out unexpectedly at the most embarrassing times! The common headache can be compared to a near death experience. Foot tapping, hands-on-hips, stop-the-world attitude can be witnessed when things are not going her way. The Devil’s Twin can be seen anytime night or day when my little girl is tired. Einstein/Miss Independent appears most often during family projects. The Sweetheart can almost always be seen in the evening when the children are going to bed and the wine has been poured. Unfortunately, you never know if it’s going to be the Devil’s Twin or the Sweetheart until the cork has been popped. It’s the Mature One that I am blessed with most of the time. She is smart, witty, caring, and oh so cute! I know I said that before but it is worth repeating. There are no words to express how much I love her and how proud I am. You see, it is my little girl that wrote the blog above that we are all posting to. She is referring to my oldest granddaughter. That apple sure didn’t fall too far from the tree.

Denise 4 years ago

Wow, I see these personalities and my daughter is only 6. I am in real trouble.

Rose 4 years ago

I have a 20 year old daughter, wish I could say that it got better…but um yeah

Anessa Andersland 4 years ago

This is my daughter EXACTLY. Thanks for making my day with this funny (and spot-on) post!

Dani 4 years ago

This describes my sister who is 14 & comes to stay with us (quite often) when her parents need a break! Sometimes she is truly lovely but her multiple personalities often take over. The worst is when she is The Manipulator: This young woman-child acts incredibly sweet, seems like she is The BFF, mixed in with The Sweetheart so you drop your guard & feel safe, then suddenly she drops the bombshell that she wants money/new clothes/phone/go out with friends etc and if you deny her any of this she turns into The Devil Twin. Please approach with caution! I am always dubious of nice behaviour with this tween, espcially as i’m sure she’s teaching her 10 year old sister to follow her example! Men are the main target so My Fiancee and Son will be well advised to watch out!

Moona 4 years ago

OMG!! I think you and I have the same daughter, this is hilarious and has made my day, bless you!!!

Becky 4 years ago

I have three daughters. Ages 4, 2 and 10 months! Not ready for those stages. These current stages are hard enough! Lol

Deanna 4 years ago

Thanks for the warning! I have a 10 year old and I think it wouldn’t be so bad except that she has to share her life with her 7 yo sister, which really cramps her style.

Julie 4 years ago

Absolutely hilarious. Twelve year old boy has fewer personalities, but they’re doozies as well.

Thanks for the laugh and godspeed.

Reading (and chickens) 4 years ago

I think you just wrote about me. I’m 32, so hopefully I’ll grow out it soon.

The Grouchy Mom 4 years ago

Oh! I relate too well!
My daughter is only 8 and this post could have been about her!
Love, love, love those precious BFF times and the Sweetheart times, but we are so much more familiar with the Devil’s Twin and Einstein times….
I apologize to my own mother daily as I watch my daughter’s moods unfold!

September 4 years ago

Kids are fun, and vodka is great too. Unfortunately for me now the kids learn all about drinking and what it does to your body. So when I decided that i was going to have a couple of drinks on a Friday night, mind you I was at home, my tween now teen told me I was a binge drinker lol! I was to stunned, I didn’t even know what the precise definition was, which she shared with me. She had learned this in school and was now imparting her wisdom on me. Thanks for the post Scary Mom, this was pretty awesome!!!

tracey – justanothermommy 4 years ago

Sadly, I find that most of those people are alive and well inside of boys, too. I have a 12 year old son and he is a right fun old time.

Gaynor 4 years ago

So true! Almost peed myself from laughing reading this post … thanks so much for that … I really needed a laugh since mine is 13.

Katie 4 years ago

My daughter turns 13 tomorrow and I can relate to every single one of these. Ahhh, if only the BFF and the Mature One would show up more often…they are so great! And hopefully a glimpse of what is to come once they get past all the angst. :)

Kelly 4 years ago

This is perfect. Survival is the name of the game. I have a 16 and 14 year old and the flip-flopping is so dead on! In fact, my husband will sometimes ask when arriving at the end of the day “Who is here today, SuzyQ or the OTHER SuzyQ?”
I’m still waiting for when they “come back”. I’m told it’s not until the 20’s….

crap.

Jeanine 4 years ago

That was a great post! I can relate 100% and you laid everything out beautifully. My daughter is 13 and she is many of those personalities. As time goes on, unfortunately, I see less of the Starbucks 35 year old and more of the “I know” Einstein. Once I was a friend, someone cool to be around. Now I am an embarrassment. It hurts, but it is good to know everyone else experiences this too. Once again, fantastic post!

Melinda 4 years ago

You captured that perfectly!!! I have a 13 yr old girl. I’m hoping the drama stage doesn’t last long.

Jen 4 years ago

I have one daughter and at the age of 4, she scares me. God help me when she is a tween/teen.

Life As Wife 4 years ago

God knew what he was doing when he gave me a little boy. I don’t think anyone (me or the child) could survive a girl!

Jennifer 4 years ago

My daughter will be seven in December and I’m already seeing shades of the attitude. I’m so dreading going through those tween years.

Summer 4 years ago

I’m actually laughing out loud at the nail salon and getting looks. Hilarious! I have two girls, 5 and 3, and am dreading the pre-teen/teen years. My daughters already have these personalities! Scary! Thanks for the laughs!

NatashA 4 years ago

That sounds just like my seventeen year old. I can’t keep count of her personalities.

Kimberly Hosey (Arizona Writer) 4 years ago

Freaking hilarious. I think many of these may live in me from time to time as well!

Also? This mostly applies to my son, too, so maybe boys aren’t THAT different. Subway sandwich runs replace manicures, but otherwise, yep. Super heavy on The Sweetheart, Baby, and Einstein. Only The Einstein seems to be monopolizing everyone else’s time lately. I got to prove him wrong the other day. Highlight of my week.

buffi 4 years ago

Has she started her period yet? Because that’s when it gets really fun. Mine will be 15 in January. Devil’s Twin is comes around especially in the mornings and ESPECIALLY about one week a month. Heaven help me.

On the flip side, I do still get lots of snuggles, believe it or not. And the BFF stuff is pretty cool. But there is also a boyfriend. Yeah. Forget the vodka – pass the Xanax.

Amy 4 years ago

Thank you for reminding me that I am not the only mother with a Tween daughter. But I think you forgot to add that she can go from Miss know it all to having amnesia (sorry for the spelling, had to hit the rum pretty early) Amnesia – any age, this one can’t remember anything you tell her but can remember anytime you haven’t fulfilled her every whim.Which eventually results with The devil’s twin visiting.

Tora 4 years ago

OMG! That is so spot on. I have a 10 year old girl she has been having (at least) 7 personalities for almost a year now.

Diane 4 years ago

I love it! My first daughter was fairly easy compared to the second, now 14. She is more than a handful. I am just hoping to survive, knowing they do come back to themselves somewhere around 16 or so is what keeps me going. I too am hoping boys are easier, but he’s only 9 and I’m sure I’ll be too tired to care much after the girls!.

Kendra Bowling 4 years ago

I have 4 of these creatures living in my home. I already knew I was screwed, thanks for confirming it 😉 My 8 year old already shares in “many personality disorder,” my 4 year old is getting there, and my 2 year old is watching by to see how it’s all done. Pray for me, but more importantly, pray for my son in the middle of it all! lol Great post!

Mandy 4 years ago

Thank YOU! For the great laugh with my morning coffee after a night where I stayed up tooooooo late transfixed by the tv trash that is ‘Dance Moms’. I don’t judge anyone, so please don’t judge me. This blog entry was better than the alternative stale bagel that was waiting to be paired up with my morning wake the hell up. Although my little Ms. Multiple Personality is only just over the ripe old hump of 3, I can already see some of this. And am scared shitless for what’s to come. Thanks for the warning. I’ll start stock piling my vodka coupons now.

Serenity 4 years ago

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one…lol

Seriously Sassy Mama 4 years ago

I have three of those. Three little girls 8 and under that will all be tween and teens some day. Can I borrow a vodka coupon?

Abi 4 years ago

Sad but true. That could be a whole post on its own. Don’t I know you from Twitter?

Abi 4 years ago

You are not alone. Mine is turning twelve this month and I’m scared. Also, I’m pretty sure we’re experiencing her first bout of PMS. Pray for me.

Abi 4 years ago

How could I have forgotten “Daddy’s Little Girl”?! That’s perfect.

Abi 4 years ago

It all started at the age of 9! You have some fun days ahead of you.

mommy23girls 4 years ago

Me too! scared and stocking up on wine!! 9 going on 13! Then 2, 20…

Tinne from T and T 4 years ago

I have two girls, only 18 months apart. Right now they are 2,5 and one year old so I figure I have plenty of time to stock up on those vodka coupons.

TheKitchenWitch 4 years ago

Oh Lordy. My first-born is only nine and I already recognize many of these alter-egos. They’re shape shifters, those adolescent girls. Laughed out loud at the ER visit for bent hair…

Michelle Saunderson 4 years ago

Oh this so describes my 12 year old girl. There is one more personality that should be added: “Daddy’s Little Girl”: Age 7-this personalilty is a testing ground for guy manipulation in the later years. You can see full use of doe eyes, enchanting smiles and doting in order to get out of chores, get him to buy her things and recruit him against her evil mom.

Mommy’s Paradise 4 years ago

So funny, I guess it would remind my mom of my own childhood. I’m so happy I have a little boy, though. Boys are different, right? RIGHT??

Anthony from CharismaticKid 4 years ago

Ha I’m gonna add your blog to my reader. This post was funnnnnny! I like how the evil one is age unknown. I know that feeling when 3 year olds act very evil and you don’t know WHO THEY ARE ANYMORE!

Cheryl @ Coffee with Cheryl 4 years ago

I have witnessed all of the above personalities in my 5yo niece! My sister is going to have her hands full, for sure. I’ve always wanted a girl, but am finished having children after 2 boys (I’m 39, and my youngest is 7mo). Having seen the drama my sister deals with, I’m more than happy to deal with the jumping off the furniture, boo boos and dirt that comes with boys!

Life with Kaishon 4 years ago

You are so dead on with these ages and stages ; )
LOVE this.
I totally want a girl.

Robin 4 years ago

OMG! This is hilarious. I totally know what you mean as I have an 11 year old as well and my god, the similarities are uncanny. The best is the drama queen. Just yesterday the tweenager was sitting on the couch in her best “end of the world” voice: “I’m bored…. I’M boooooooooooored, BORED! So very bored. I think I may die…” Talk about drama! Thanks for this, I so needed a laugh and to know there are others out there like me who have their own piece of tweenhood :)

Alison@Mama Wants This 4 years ago

Haha, that’s funny!

You know, I can think of a few grown up women I can apply all these personalities to……….

Skye Diaz | motherhood, etc. 4 years ago

Oh lord, is this what I have to look forward with my TWO girls?!? yikes! They are under age of 3 right now, so I better enjoy these single digit years!