Nowhere in your motherhood contract did you ever mention playtime as a thing you wouldn’t try to avoid. Love, cherish, and provide for your child? Oh, you absolutely signed up for that, but playtime?
As a parent who’s not really into playtime (because it’s boring and you’re an adult who does lame things like laundry), playdates will become your favorite frenemy. They accomplish two things: playtime with anyone other than you and a happy child.
Not every playdate is worth scheduling. Maybe the other family considers their house a museum and their kid touches ALL THE THINGS because your house is freedom. Or maybe this child is really creative and loves glitter but you consider it satan’s sequins so no way are they coming over to your house.
Now that Muppet Babies is premiering on Disney Channel, we thought there’s no better cast to figure out what kind of child you’re working with and whether you should go ahead and schedule that playdate or naaah, hard pass.
Take it away, babies.
ANIMAL: The Wild Child
How to Identify This Kid: Adorable with a spine-chilling holler when frustrated and also has great rhythm? You’ve got an Animal.
Best Toys: A drum set. Duh.
Playdate Style: THROW ALL THE THINGS. This kid is wildly popular with the other kids but is definitely the loudest.
Your House or Nah: Neither. Playground!
KERMIT: The Old Soul
How to Identify This Kid: When you look into their eyes, you have the distinct impression that they know more about EVERYTHING than you do.
Best Toys: Introduce cool retro toys and instruments. We highly recommend a banjo.
Playdate Style: Zen master who keeps all the kids from fighting.
Your House or Nah: Yes, come on over!
SUMMER: The Artist
How to Identify This Kid: If you squint a bit and look at their drawings sideways, you can totally recognize what they drew.
Best Toys: All the art supplies.
Playdate Style: Most likely to say, “Let’s put on a show!” and then make sure all the shy kids get involved helping build the set.
Your House or Nah: Scissors and crayons? What could ever go wrong? That’s gonna be a NAH.
FOZZIE: The Comedian
How to Identify: This kid’s first sentence to you will be a terrible joke — and you’ll laugh hysterically because they are so cute.
Best Toy: Create a makeshift stage and stand back.
Playdate Style: This kid is a playdate favorite and will make all the kids laugh.
Your House or Nah: Come on over!
GONZO: The Cuddler
How to Identify: This kid will want to sit in their mom’s lap the whole time.
Best Toy to Offer: We recommend a stuffed buddy in the shape of a chicken.
Playdate Style: Ten minutes of play, ten minutes of cuddle, ten minutes of play, ten minutes of cuddle…
Your House or Nah: Definitely theirs. They need to be on home turf.
PIGGY: The Fierce Princess
How to Identify: Loves all things sparkle and ruffled? Loves to be the center of attention but fiercely defends their friends? You’ve got a Piggy.
Best Toys: Anything that sparkles. Aluminum foil will do in a pinch.
Playdate Style: Knows what they want and when they want it, and makes sure everyone else knows too.
Your House or Nah: Definitely come on over! You can bling out together.
And if the playdate gets too rowdy, you can always put on the new Muppet Babies to help everyone find their inner chill.
Watch Muppet Babies weekdays at 10 a.m. on Disney Channel! Get to know them with your kids now.