An all-female species that clones itself? That shit is CRAY
If there was ever any doubt Mother Nature is a woman, listen up. A mutant species of crayfish — ahem — an ALL-FEMALE mutant species of crayfish is taking over the freshwaters of Europe. Because these bad ass bitches are reproducing like crazy.
By cloning themselves.
That’s right, this all-female reboot of the regular crayfish doesn’t need a man. According to the The New York Times, the “marble crayfish” was a species that didn’t exist 25 years ago. But somewhere along the evolutionary way, two sex cells fused and produced a female crayfish embryo that contained three copies of each chromosome instead of two. Thus a new breed of crayfish was born, and it’s fabulous, female, and without deformities!
You’re probably wondering, “Do these crayfish eat Lady Doritos and write with special pens?” Ha, we kid, we kid. A legitimate question would be “How do these ladies reproduce and how can we continue the human race without men?”
Rather than reproduce sexually, the first marbled crayfish was able to induce her own eggs to divide into embryos. The offspring was all-female and inherited identical copies of the same three chromosomes — because the offspring were actual clones.
Basically, if the marble crayfish had a soundtrack, it would undoubtedly be “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves”. Twitter seems to agree, with many people wondering how we can adapt this mutation into human reproduction, because #goals.
— Matthew Segal (@segalmr) February 6, 2018
Nature actually did this very real thing, so please take heed, men of the world.
"The progeny were all female, and each one grew up ready to reproduce."
We comin' for y'all. 😜https://t.co/mmnwJvtssu
— World Cup Porn🌹nska (@Pedinska) February 6, 2018
Amazing. Meet the 'woke feminist crayfish'. https://t.co/mlbeHppylX
— Prasanto K Roy (@prasanto) February 6, 2018
Pet store clause reads: “Cannot be owned by men.”
all-female mutant crayfish built their own feminist utopia because they don't need a man. We stan https://t.co/TscgmF1V4b
— julia reinstein (@juliareinstein) February 6, 2018
CLONE CRAYFISH MATRIARCHY https://t.co/9zM9MGOqCi
— SMITH (@strangerworks) February 6, 2018
It’s the most glorious and progressive chapter in evolutionary history, tbh.
ID LIKE TO PLAY THE LEAD CRAYFISH IN THE MOVIE (OR HER BEST FRIEND WATEVER) https://t.co/DXkFw5Z9O0
— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) February 6, 2018
I for one welcome our new female crawfish overlords https://t.co/C6CVAAlaiY
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) February 6, 2018
They’re reading this, Jake. And they’ll take it into consideration.
if this is what it's gonna take to close the pay gap then so be it. https://t.co/bBEhX8Trfp
— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) February 6, 2018
Dr. Frank Lyko, a biologist at the German Cancer Research Center who has been closely studying the marble crayfish for years, says their reproduction isn’t slowing down — but it most likely won’t become a permanent species. “Maybe they just survive for 100,000 years,” he told The New York Times. “That would be a long time for me personally, but in evolution it would just be a blip on the radar.”
Well in that case, the next step for womankind amongst other species is clear:
Girls, let's talk about our menstrual cycle. How many of you have cramps? Spotting? Need to use lots of different size tampons and pads?
ok, all of the men have left this thread.
GIRLS, LETS FIGURE OUT WHAT THESE CRAYFISH DID AND REPLICATE IT. WOMEN UNITE. Bye, men. https://t.co/LyGAzKN4u8
— Red, Not Secret Society Member (@Redpainter1) February 6, 2018