Do you feel like you’re doing more in your relationship? Are you checking in constantly with your boo but not receiving the same attention? Are you care taking their needs? Do you find yourself asking them, “Hey, we haven’t spent much time together in a while. Do you think we should go out?” and then planning said date. When it comes to your relationship, would you say you’re emotionally exhausted and confused more often than not? If any, or all, of this hits close to home, then to paraphrase Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, “Your relationship is in danger, girl.” While you might be committed to a healthy and thriving relationship, if you’re not feeling the same effort from your partner, then chances are you’re in a one-sided relationship. Below are five of the most common signs that you are in a one-sided relationship.
1. You Initiate Most of the Communication
Are you texting them first thing in the morning? Are you checking in with how their day is going? Are you the one who’s planning all the dates and ensuring that the two of you spend time together? While it’s certainly normal to initiate conversations with your partner, here’s a question for you: if you didn’t send them a “Good morning” text or check in with them, do you think you’d hear from them first? Would they go out of their way to surprise you with date night? Or would it be days until you heard from them? If you’re the only one who’s initiating conversation with very little of it being reciprocated, then chances are you and your partner are on separate pages.
2. You Always Work Around Their Schedule
You know your partner doesn’t like to talk during their lunch hour, so you reach out at a different time even if that means reorganizing priorities on your end to do so. You’ll say no to a night out with friends because you know that your partner is free on Friday and that’s the only day they can spend time with you. Part of what makes healthy relationships functional is when both partners compromise and work together to make their schedule sync up. If your partner is unwilling to make sacrifices for you, then that’s a huge red flag.
3. You’re the Only One Who Cares About the Relationship
When you feel something’s amiss with your relationship and you try to speak to your partner about it, what is their reaction? If they roll their eyes or dismiss you, or flat out ignore having a conversation with you, then their reaction is indicative of their lack of investment in the relationship. Whether or not they agree something is missing from your relationship, a committed partner will be available to have those hard conversations with you.
4. You’re the Only One Who Shares
Whether it’s offering to bring home their favorite Starbucks drink, cooking their favorite dinner, or sharing your innermost feelings, you find that you offer a lot to your partner. But do they do the same to you? Do they think of the small things that will help make your day or at least make it a little easier? Do they show up as their authentic and vulnerable self, or do they shut down or shut you off when times get tough? People who are in healthy and thriving relationships love making their partners happy and are open to showing up truthfully in their relationships. While vulnerability isn’t easy, and it’s definitely harder for some, a committed partner will show you that they are willing to try.
5. You’re Anxious Over the Relationship
Sometimes feeling anxious and vulnerable about a relationship is normal but finding yourself at your wit’s end frequently is not. If you are constantly worrying about how your partner feels about you and your relationship because you know their actions and words aren’t aligned, then that’s a sign you’re with someone who’s not all into you. It’s essential to have your needs met, and if your partner isn’t showing up how you need them to on a regular basis that’s causing your anxiety levels to jack up, then guess what? You’re in a one-sided relationship, and it’s time to exit the building.
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