From The Confessional: My Partner Is Bad At Oral Sex

by Cassandra Stone
My Partner Is Bad At Oral Sex
Peter Cade/Getty

When it comes to oral sex, some partners get it and some just…do NOT

For most couples, oral sex is a necessary part of intimacy — and an important one. Unfortunately, not every couple has a satisfying oral sex life — particularly women in heterosexual relationships — and that’s a damn shame. So they took to our Confessional to spill all the tea they’ve got. Or aren’t getting.

According to the National Survey of Family Growth, 86 percent of women in the U.S. and 87 percent of men have had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner at least once before. In another survey, the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, men were significantly more likely than women to say that receiving oral sex was a part of their last sexual encounter with any partner.

Yeah, it’s beyond time to reclaim your time in the bedroom, ladies, okay??

My man does not perform oral sex on me, but constantly asks me to do it to him. I am getting frustrated about it. But Im ashamed to bring up the subject.

Confessional #25753060

Finally leaving. He has only exclusively had anal sex with me aside from creating our kids for six years. No to regular sex, no to oral sex. Yep I put up with it. Can’t tell anyone in real life. And yea...I’m the monster!

Confessional #25620795

Some days, what I REALLY need is for SO to give me mind-blowing oral sex as soon as I get home, then order a pizza while I shower, feed me, and put me to be for a solid 10 hours sleep. Today is one of those days. It'll never happen.

Confessional #21810062

Many female partners in our confessional admitted they don’t “like” oral sex. Which can be true! Or their partners are not equal in the giving department.

One-quarter of women who participated in a 2016 study on human sexuality in heterosexual relationships said they’d given oral sex but never received. When it came to who enjoyed giving oral sex, though, things flipped: More than half of men found it “very pleasurable,” while less than a third of women said the same.

You’d think DH would be good at oral sex based on how loudly and sloppily he eats. But no.

Confessional #15905270

I know about and have experienced being rubbed raw down there during sex, but DH actually LICKED me raw this weekend. I never would have thought I'd need to set a time limit for oral sex.

Confessional #15323422

Seriously considering ending it with SO in order to find someone who actually LIKE giving and receiving oral sex. Sounds petty, but I really do miss it THAT much.

Confessional #14978367

So what’s the deal? Patriarchy, obviously, but like…why aren’t men reciprocating? Some people really, genuinely love it and some people only give to get — but you’ve got to give if you’re getting!

Today my husband performed oral sex for the first time in nearly five years. I was excited and depressed all at once.

Confessional #11399975

Today my husband performed oral sex for the first time in nearly five years. I was excited and depressed all at once.

Confessional #11399975

Just found out oral sex can feel amazing, from my neighbor. We’re both married

Confessional #11207615

Many men who don’t return the oral favor likely subscribe to gender roles/gender norms that are outdated AF and have always been extremely misogynist and harmful. And because of patriarchy and all that entails, women are conditioned to feel self-conscious about their genitals instead of proud or nonchalant like men are.

H thinks I hate kissing and oral sex. Truth is he's just not good at it.

Confessional #9515585

I hate oral sex from my husband. He is just terrible at it. And I prefer to get off using my shower head. Nothing beats that jet speed.

Confessional #9150908

Yeah, having a partner who’s bad at oral doesn’t mean women won’t work around it. Where there’s a will (or a shower head), there’s a way.

My DH of 6 years has literally never given me oral sex. I'm an attractive and cool wife. What the heck!

Confessional #3090223

Bottom line: if your significant other isn’t returning the favor when it comes to oral sex, that’s a THEM problem. Not a YOU problem. And they need to work on that, pronto.