Dear Husband: It Won't Always Be This Way

by Maggie Isenhoff
ELM pictures Images by Nicolette

It’s been just over a year since our son was born, but oh how things have changed. We used to be able to take off on random getaways, go on dates every week or even (gasp!) stay up until 11 p.m. Now the “random” getaways are planned months in advance, dates don’t happen as often, and usually one or both of us is in bed by 9 p.m. I’m not naive, I knew that things like this would change when our son was born.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never for one single second regret spending time with this beautiful boy we have, but I do sometimes miss when it was just us. After he was born, I think some of my postpartum depression stemmed from mourning the loss of our old life. We both admitted to each other that we missed it, but the blessing of our son was worth more than our carefree and kid-free days.

The days sometimes seem like Groundhog Day, the same thing over and over. I get up at 4:45 to workout and not long after I get home, you’re leaving for work. After work we spend time with our son before bath and bedtime. After bedtime we’re both usually tired so we end up zoning out in a book or watching TV. Some days it seems so monotonous and I crave some sort of adventure with you, but I know how blessed we really are.

Now our adventures include our son, and that makes me so happy. I love watching him learn new things and explore the outdoors. It’s getting warm out which means it’s hard to even keep him inside — in that way he takes after you. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the two of you doing your “outdoor man” stuff together. Of course, I love when I get to join in too.

This new stage in our marriage has been hard, but has given me an entire new way to love you. I don’t mean to be all mushy and cliche, but watching you with our son makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. I always knew you’d be a good dad, but I didn’t realize how far above and beyond you would go.

Really what I’m trying to tell you is that although the last year has been all about our son, it won’t always be that way. Time will fly by so fast and he’ll need us less and less. It seems so far away, but I have to remind myself not to wish away a single second of enjoying parenthood together. I love the team we’ve become and how we balance each other out so well. You’re the fun guy and I’m the one he runs to for comfort.

So sometimes we go weeks without a date night or some days our conversations only revolve around our toddler; that’s okay. Right now we need to embrace our roles as Mom and Dad, but it doesn’t mean we’re not first in each others’ hearts. It’s just that right now our beautiful little boy needs us more. Just know that it won’t always be this way.