A New Poll Shows Just How How Much We're Sheltering Our Kids & It's Really Bad

We often compare today’s childhood experiences to our own growing up in the 80s and 90s — and the differences are stark. While we often roamed freely (and without watches, phones, or Air Tags) until the street lights came on, our kids are much more scheduled and supervised.

Now, a new survey by The Harris Poll shows just how sheltered and dependent many kids are today — and the numbers are so shocking that it has many parents wondering what the world will look like when this generation grows up and leaves the nest.

Some of the key findings from the poll about 8 to 12-year-olds include:

• Over one in four kids isn’t allowed to play alone, even in their own front yard.
• 71% of kids have never used a sharp knife.
• 45% of kids have never walked alone down the aisle of a store when their parent was in a different aisle.
• 56% of kids have never talked to a neighbor while alone.
• 62% have never walked or biked anywhere without an adult.
• 63% have never built a structure, like a fort or tree house, outside their home.
• 67% have never done work that they’ve been paid for (like shoveling snow or babysitting).
• 61% have never made plans with a friend without a parent helping.

And these numbers aren’t because kids are afraid of the world.

The poll also found that 61% of kids want to play in person with their friends and without adults, while 87% said they wished they could spend more time playing with their friends in person and outside of school.

The poll surveyed 522 kids aged 8 to 12 across the United States in March 2025.

There’s been extensive research showing that kids need to be taught independence, and a lack of independence in kids has been linked to increased mental health issues and other long-term issues.

At the same time, another study found that parents think they give their kids more independence than they actually do.

On the other hand, letting your kids learn to be on their own — and even take part in risky situations like using a sharp knife — can have a lot of positive outcomes.

“In general,” Barry A. Garst, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Youth Development Leadership at Clemson University, told Scary Mommy, “risky play provides greater opportunities for children to test and affirm their capabilities, as well as opportunities to experience, cope with, and problem-solve situations involving failure.”

This need for “risky play” can be especially important for teenagers, who naturally seek out more independence as they mature, he goes on. “[Risky play] activities can provide teenagers with opportunities to meet their developmental needs for risk-taking in ways that are safer than other forms of risk-taking, such as experimenting with risky behaviors.”

In other words, letting your teens go to the fair or mall alone or use power tools to create a structure might well be a better option than them experimenting with illegal substances or speeding in a car.

The bottom line? Parents are sheltering their kids more than we think we are — and it might take some really deliberate actions on our part to make sure that our kids are learning independence. And it might start with letting them go find milk in the grocery store while you’re in the produce section.