A Concerned Parent Asked: What Happened To Your Kid Who Never Cared About School?

Parents often assume that their kids will be passionate about school and that college is a given — but the truth is that all kids are different and some just won’t flourish in a traditional school environment. In fact, they might even hate every second of it.

One worried parent in the Reddit Parenting group wanted to know from other parents what happened to their own kids who never cared about school — did they ever find their way, or were they still adrift?

“Currently struggling with a kid who has no desire to do well in school and doesn’t care they fail,” the parent wrote. “Shows no desire to get to school on time. It’s impossible for them to get their schoolwork done on their own and do not take initiative until I have to intervene. Doing this daily is becoming impractical (the days I don’t intervene — nothing gets done) and I am hoping for the day they have the sense of urgency to take ownership. Having several honest conversations — they expressed that they absolutely hate school and don’t care about anything. Hoping theres a light at the end of the tunnel but not too confident there is one. Curious to know how kids in similar circumstances turned out.”

That sounds like a very, very rough place to be with a kid. But a ton of people in the comments had stories of hope to share about their own kids who hated school and didn’t perform academically.

“This was my brother,” wrote one person. “He ended up dropping out at 17 and later going back for his GED around 19. He struggled hanging around the wrong people but still had family support. Now 10 years later he went from working a trade to now being an expert in it and makes more money than my siblings and I that went to college. He’s the one we thought would fail but he’s doing better than all of us.”

He added, “I’d say the family never giving up on him is what helped him succeed. Once my parents realized he really wasn’t going to college he started to thrive.”

“My bro got c’s and only put in that minimal effort so that he could stay on his sports team,” another shared. “In the off season my parents made him get a job. He worked at a butcher shop and loved it. He ended up going to community college and worked part time for a lawyer. He finished a four year degree. He followed a lawyer through his job changes and ended up a VP at a big company. Makes way more money than me now… I busted my ass in HS and got into prestigious colleges.”

“Help them find something that motivates them,” the poster added. “Encourage other experiences outside school.”

A third person shared their spouse’s story: “My husband was like that and was a late bloomer to becoming very successful,” she wrote. “Some people hate school but thrive in professional settings.”

A number of people asked the parent to be aware of possibilities like ADHD and autism, which could make the school experience more difficult without a diagnosis. Many other urged the parent to explore any avenue that might actually interest their kid, from different types of jobs to sports to hobbies.

However you look at it, school is just one part of life, and it’s not made for everyone. You can dislike school and skate by and still become a productive, driven, smart person. At the same time, as a parent, it’s your responsibility to try and understand why your kid isn’t thriving in school — and to help your kids grow wings and be independent, even if it’s not in a traditional way.