Matthew McConaughey Gives The Most Relatable Teenager Advice

Earlier this week, Matthew McConaughey stopped by “The Drew Barrymore Show” to promote his new book of poetry, Poems and Prayers. While there, the actor spoke at length about raising kids, particularly his teenage daughter, Vida.

During their conversation, McConaughey talked about how he reframed asking his daughter how she’s doing in an attempt to get her to open up more freely. Instead of asking her “how you doin’?” ask them, he said, “What’s it like being a teenager these days?”

While that doesn’t seem to be a huge difference, he noted that the first, open-ended question is “personal,” while the latter gets them to talk in “the third person but they’re talking about themselves and their own experience.”

The actor went on to discuss with Drew about how conversations with his kids have evolved as they’ve gotten older, and how, at times, he’s had to be less judgmental of their decisions, and instead appreciate that they’re even opening up to him.

“Coming into the teenage years — which I will say are fun because you don’t have to edit the good stories as much — I’ve had to almost be less of a dad in ways, be less judgmental... to sit on it and listen, then they keep sharing. I’d rather know and not judge right now, than not know and wonder what they hell I’m supposed to judge about,” he said, adding, “I did not know that there was a bridge between being a parent — which I believe you need to be early — and then if you’re lucky a friend maybe later on in life but I didn’t know there was a bridge of being a big brother. And that’s a little of that pat on the back, like ‘hey man I know what you’re talking about.”

Curious to see if this strategy worked, I tried out the reframing on my 12-year-old son, who is not, shall we say, known to have long-winded answers to questions such as this. And while he still gave me his usual grunt and eye roll, he added, “Boring. We can’t do much but go to school.” This, dear reader, is more than he usually says. (I’ll have you know he does not just go to school and come home; he plays sports and has friends and is generally a pretty active, happy kid.)

Needless to say, McConaughey is definitely on to something, and other commenters agreed.

“When your kid comes home from school, try asking them…. Who did you help today? Start asking that question before they ever start school. They will happily share how they helped someone and they will be raised a more kind and Empathetic human being,” said one.

Said another: “I loved being in the car with 6 teens (i had 3 boys born under age 2- so always ALWAYS had 6 kids ) I could listen and later pretend to have curiosity about a subject later …… you learn so much with a closed mouth.”

“❤️ Love his approach to get to know your child’s thoughts and feelings without prejudging but rather listening and empathizing with them. 👏👏👏,” added another.