Millennials Are So Over The Junk Hoarding Habits Of Their Parents
Instead of decluttering, Boomers are passing junk down to the next generation.
I love my mom a lot. But whenever she visits, she brings at least a few boxes from the attic — also known as the packed-to-the-ceiling hell where every single thing from my childhood is kept. The boxes she brings sometimes include a treasured piece of jewelry or a timeless toy or a long-forgotten photograph, but they also include lots of broken stuff, out-of-date books, and every single worksheet from second grade. Yes, she has kept a bag full of plastic Barbie hairbrushes for me for 30 years.
I am not alone. Dealing with the junk of your parents is a common complaint in my friend group. Either Boomer parents are ferrying boxes of junk to our houses, or they are struggling to live in their own increasingly crowded homes. And when they pass? We are left to wade through the madness and mess.
Over on Threads this week, one woman ranted about dealing with her mom’s unhealthy attachment to stuff. Even though her mom isn’t technically a hoarder and even though she’s not technically a minimalist, they are clashing big time.
“As a millennial set to inherit a baby boomer’s junk I can honestly say it’s a mental illness,” she wrote. “I’m packing the house for a remodel and I just can’t believe my mother’s attachment to STUFF. It’s infuriating. I am by no means a minimalist but I wear and use my things. This process makes me want to have an empty house and three outfits I rotate.”
Down in the comments, so many millennial parents related.
“I took over my family home a few years ago and the weight of the stuff can be so much I’ve started staying at a hotel when I come to town,” one person wrote. “Convinced our elders were suffering from some sort of collective ‘scarcity mindset’ cause apparently this is common.”
“I’m a minimalist trying to de-hoard my mom’s apartment,” another wrote. “I found, at the back of her closet, my and my brother’s moldy baptism and communion gowns and suits. I’m 57. WHY IS SHE KEEPING THIS SHIT?”
“Nothing makes you a minimalist faster than going through your parents’ stuff,” one person wisely wrote.
An estate lawyer also chimed in:
“I’m an Estates lawyer and see this from the other side,” she wrote. “Children as executors of their parents estates struggling to clear out the family home so it can be put up for sale. Sometimes this task takes months of hard work and involves sending most, if not all of the contents to donation centers or the landfill. Leaving a mess for your children to deal with is not the way you want to be remembered. The anger and despair I see is real.”
There were also more than a few people defending — or at least explaining — Boomer junk hoarding, too.
“In many cases, it’s also something they’ve learnt from their parents and grandparents,” one person wrote. “Boomers were raised by the Silent Generation — people who lived through the Depression and the war years, when nothing went to waste. They saved and repaired everything because they had to. That mindset didn’t just disappear when life became more comfortable. For many, finally being able to buy things symbolized security and success. A nice dining set or silverware wasn’t about excess, it was about having ‘made it.’ Those pieces carried pride, memory, and proof of better days.”
“Maybe a lot of that ‘stuff’ has precious memories,” another older person added. “I’m a boomer & trying to declutter but it’s hard to let go of those memories especially if they remind you of lost loved ones. Don’t be judgmental.. it might be you one day.”
Well, that makes sense. Although it still leave millennials with a lot of stuff on their hands that doesn’t have much use.
The best comments gave helpful tips for helping older people purge.
“Helped my grandparents downsize into assisted living a few years ago and we did the major clean out of their accumulated stuff then, with them,” one person wrote. “A lot of car trips to Goodwill, some Facebook marketplace selling, and a really good cry over the cookbooks my grandmother inherited from her mother, but no one ever cooks from. They’re happier and thriving, and no one has any guilt. Oh, and scanning family photos onto the computer and giving them a WiFi frame that rotates them: CLUTCH.”
People who have already helped older relatives declutter share that everyone is happier and healthier with fewer things — it’s the letting go that can be a little painful for a moment.
