no biggie

Mom Faces Harsh Backlash For Making Her Teen Son’s Bed Each Morning

But her reasoning behind it resonated with some parents.

by Katie Garrity
A mom is getting criticized on the internet for revealing she tidies up her teenage son's room every...
Shannon Tarkey / Instagram

I don’t know if you recall, but being a teenager is hard. There is so much going on in a teen’s life: school, friends, sports, sex, body image, gossip, part-time jobs, etc. The list goes on and on. Add in a messed-up world with school shootings, a dying planet, inflation, and a crap job market, and it’s no wonder Generation Z is the most depressed generation yet.

Now, what if there were small acts of kindness that we, as parents, could do for our kids to make their lives an ounce less stressful? You would do it, right?

One mom is facing a ton of backlash on social media after admitting she tidies up her teenage son’s room and makes his bad every morning after he goes to school.

“I started doing this every morning after I drop him off at school,” Shannon Tarkey wrote in her Instagram post. “Not because he won't, and not because I do everything for him. He has his own chores, and has been taught his entire life to clean up after himself. But when he's getting himself up early in the mornings and rushing off to school this is something I've come to enjoy doing for him.”

“This way when he gets home he can get his homework done in his room and just relax. There’s plenty of other things Austin helps out with around the house, and I can only imagine what it's like being a teenager in today's world. It is my job to make my children feel at peace so if it's picking up a few pieces of clothes or making his bed then I am more than happy to do it for him.”

So, her teen son seems to be a help around the house, a good student completing his homework and cleans up after himself. Yet, Tarkey still got so much flack for helping her kid out with this small gesture.

“Ooooh he gonna make his wife so furious one day expecting a clean house but not helping,” one user wrote.

Another echoed, “Although this is very kind and sweet of you, when he gets married he will think this is also what his wife should do for him. I married a man who thought I was supposed to be just like his mom. It took many years for my husband to learn to serve in the home.”

“My kids made their own beds when they got up in the morning this is ridiculous were supposed to set an example. My kids also did other chores every day,” another said.

“And now you’re teaching him that that is his wife’s job in the future. I get loving our kids but there also comes a point where you teach them how to be responsible for their own peace and not expect others to cater to them,” one user noted.

The hits just kept on coming for Tarkey from people who thought she was setting her son up to be a horrible husband who doesn’t know how to make a bed.

“You’re feeling pretty good about yourself and I hate to tell you this, but you’re setting your son up to be an adult who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves,” one wrote.

Another said, “My mother did this for my brother. She thought it was so sweet. Just for a while she thought. Just while he’s so busy she thought. You know what happened? He grew up to expect that treatment from every woman he dated, then from the woman he married, and that marriage failed. He’s on to a second woman he’s about to marry, and he’s still no better. She serves him constantly. He does nothing. No bed making, no dishes, no laundry, no ‘women’s work’ of any kind. So please stop.”

After all the backlash and criticism, Tarkey clapped back at the internet trolls who seemed to be projecting their traumas onto her.

“To those saying I'm ‘babying him’ — My son also hunts, fishes, sweeps, vacuums, keeps his room organized, and takes care of our animals. He probably knows more life skills than most grown men in today's society so don't waste your breath with negative comments,” she wrote in a follow-up comment.

“If my son was not responsible & hardworking I would expect him to make his bed every morning himself. But because he is very hardworking and helps out with whatever we need around the home this is something I've come to enjoy doing for him as a small act of love. The comments about him needing to do it on his own are irrelevant to me because my son already knows what hard work and responsibility is.”

Tarkey has taught her son how to be a human (cleaning, organizing, taking care of pets), and he seems to be quite self-sufficient. What is the harm in making his bed in the morning so he can come home to a clean room, ready to do homework or just decompress after school? He will be an adult soon enough with all the lovely aspects that come with being an adult. Let’s just let kids be kids for a bit longer, shall we?

On the bright side, several other viewers came her Tarkey’s defense.

“Girl mom! My baby is 15 and after she leaves for school I clean her room. I plug up her iPad/Mac etc so they are charged and ready for when she comes home. I make breakfast, lunch, iron outfits, comb hair, and anything else I think she needs from me. She has years as an adult but her time as a child is limited,” one user wrote.

“As a mother, I hate that you even have to justify this to anyone. This world is not the same & our kiddos need our support in the same, but different ways. Our parents didn’t have to talk to us about boys & girls sharing restrooms. If making his bed brings you both peace & comfort, then that’s about the most normal thing a mother & child can bond over in 2024,” another wrote.