Moms Are Sharing What Surprised Them Most Postpartum & They Get Really Real

When friends ask me what having a baby is like, I’m sure to keep it positive — having kids is one of the best things I’ve ever done, but I’m also blunt — “It’s like getting punched in the face out of an airplane,” I tell them. “And then when you land on your feet somehow, everyone expects you to keep running while learning how to juggle.” Pregnancy is tough, but in my experience it’s got nothing in the postpartum period, which is decidedly harder in ways many people don’t acknowledge or understand. Recently, TikTok creator Lindsey Bosway (@lindseybosway) posted a video with friends to answer the question: “What rocked you most postpartum?”

It’s truly a public service announcement.

A word of warning to anyone who might be pregnant: what follows are some hard truths.

A word of encouragement to anyone who might be pregnant: what follows are individual experiences that not every new parent is going to encounter. These are simply possibilities to be aware of. And if you do happen to go through them, it’s probably going to be nice to know not only that you’re not alone, but that there’s light at the end of the postpartum tunnel.

It’s probably helpful to break down some of the answers, both in the video and in the comments, into categories. We will let the commenters speak for themselves with little commentary.

Physical Problems

• “I got Bell’s palsy the day I went into labor with my first, and it took a few weeks to resolve ... half of my face did not work. It was traumatizing.”

• “I got postpartum preeclampsia four days after [giving birth] even though I didn’t have any high blood pressures during any of my pregnancies. So I had to go back to the hospital with a collicky baby and get IV magnesium and you feel like a drunk sailor.”

• “Debilitating mastitis that put me in the hospital ... [and] my c-section incision opened.”

• “Being perpetually damp. Always sweating, milk leaking, postpartum bleeding. I just felt so gross all over.”

Mental & Emotional Problems

• “The resentment towards your husband whose life never really changed and yours changed dramatically.”

• “My marriage! I wish having a difficult time in marriage after having a baby was normalized more — you’re both new and struggling in different ways. And it’s okay!”

• “Postpartum rage, mainly toward my husband and pets.”

• “Thinking of every way my baby was going to die. Legit thinking he was going to drown and be swept to sea at night? WHY?” (I will chime in: the intrusive thoughts can be rough.)

• “That panic when you realize you have done something you cannot undo. You’ll never be able to return to your old life or tap out when you don’t feel like doing it. I think the 24/7 need was the most jarring.”

Baby Problems

• “Breastfeeding: tongue ties and lip ties.”

• “The inconsolable crying was pretty rough.”

• “Phantom crying in the night made me feel like I should be admitting myself into a mental hospital.” (Again, I’ll chime in: this is real.)

• “Sundown scaries.” (A lot of people mentioned this one, too.)

Again, these are all possibilities, and it’s highly unlikely you’ll go through all the horrible things we’ve listed out. But as a wise man (G.I. Joe) once said, “Knowing is half the battle.”