no brainer

A Mom Wonders If Grandmothers And Mothers-In-Law Should Get Celebrated On Mother's Day

Moms are getting stuck celebrating other mothers in their family on what should be their big day.

A mom on TikTok turned to her followers to see what mom gets the priority on Mother's Day — your mom...
TikTok / @bmcpher

Mother’s Day is this weekend! While most of us can expect some sort of toddler-made breakfast in bed scenario or a nice bouquet of flowers, the ever-plaguing decision of how to spend Mother’s Day can be a stressor, especially for the moms of the family who tend to also be the decision-makers, planners, and default parents. (God, are moms just the best or what?)

A mom and content creator on TikTok, Bailey McPherson, turned to her followers to see what is the proper protocol for Mother’s Day celebrations. Who gets the most attention on Mother’s Day when there are multiple moms in a family to celebrate?

“Mother’s Day as an adult is weird because it's like am I expected to celebrate it with my mother-in-law?” McPherson asks. “Am I expected to celebrate it with my own mother because my own mother certainly thinks so, but I am also a mother.”

“So, when do I, as a mother who now lives near her mother, when do I celebrate myself?”

McPherson’s video soon went viral with over 1.5 million views with thousands of TikTok users chiming in with advice and their opinions on the matter.

One user concluded that once a mother becomes a grandmother, her time in the sun is over when it comes to Mother’s Day celebration.

“When that title GRANDmother hits, you PASS THE TORCH. It’s our turn.”

Another user had one of the best takes and said, “personally I think the mom in the most active stage of motherhood should be celebrated”

“The mother who is actively mothering gets the day. My mom gets Saturday or the next weekend. My MIL is my husbands problem,” another smart mom wrote.

“I never understood not making it all about the moms who are CURRENTLY fighting for their lives with little goblins,” one user joked.

“FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES,” Mcpherson replied.

Another user suggested that Mcpherson make it a family affair and get all the moms together to celebrate as one big happy family. The comment caught her so off guard that she made a follow-up video explaining why that does not sound like a fun holiday.

“The thing is, I don't like to spending my alone time mommy breaks ... with other people. I definitely don't like to sit in other people's houses and watch my kid. I don't want to be with my kid on Mother's Day,” Mcpherson said.

She continued on, noting that her ideal Mother’s Day involves absolutely no mothering at all.

“I don't want to go to someone's house and be a mother. You know? I want to go out get my toes done, someone scrub my feet ... I want to drink something bubbly, even a Shirley Temple, bottomless Shirley temples, some food, maybe some shopping. That's my idea of Mother's Day,” she admitted.

“By myself, whoever wants to tag along, that yeah, I mean I guess my mom could tag along for that, but that's that's all I'm settling for.”

One user couldn’t comprehend Mcpherson’s wishes to be left the f*ck alone on Mother’s Day. “I don’t understand not wanting to be with your kids on Mothers Day. That’s the whole point!” they wrote.

“Do you have kids?” McPherson wrote back.

Others totally saw where she was coming from, noting that our moms and mother-in-laws have had several Mother’s Day celebrations where it was all about them. It’s our turn.

One user summed up this sentiment perfectly and wrote, “Once you become the mom of littles the holiday gets passed down. They had 18+ to celebrate while you were a child, now it’s your turn.”

So, what does Mcpherson plan to do for Mother’s Day? “I’ve made it a tradition the last couple of years to spend the day doing whatever I want to do!” she tells Scary Mommy. “I enjoy some quiet shopping, a pedicure, and eating without a toddler to share it with, cater to, or diaper to change!”

Relatable! Mcpherson also has her fingers crossed for a clean house upon coming home (courtesy of her husband) and a hot bath. As for her mom and mother-in-law, she will, of course, ensure they feel special.

“All mothers in my life will always receive a text and my MIL and mom always receive a gift!” she said.