makes sense, nana

This Woman Wants Grandmas To ‘Shift The Focus’ On Mother's Day

"Instead of expecting the family to gather to honor you, it’s time to make the day about the next generation of mothers."

A grandmother has a strong message about Mother's Day: once you have grandchildren, the focus should...
TikTok / @morethangrand

Mother’s Day can be a lovely holiday for moms: you are recognized for your hard work and get a day to relax and be celebrated. But for a lot of moms, they find themselves in an awkward position, in which a lot of their time and effort has to go toward making their mothers and mothers-in-law happy on the big day instead of getting the break they need. Who can relax, really, when you’re planning a brunch for your MIL, ordering flowers for your mom, and managing everyone’s emotions to boot?

Well, there’s one grandmother coming to the rescue, for all of us!

Known as @MoreThanGrand on TikTok, this grandmother has a strong message for other grandparents who are... just used to being the center of attention on Mother’s Day: It’s time to step aside and celebrate your daughters and daughters-in-law.

“It’s almost Mother’s Day in some parts of the world, time for family brunches and honoring the mothers in our lives,” she begins her video, in a warm and calm voice. “It’s also time for my annual reminder to grandmothers to shift the focus from you to your daughters and daughters-in-law who are mothers.”

Her first point is to start recognizing the newer moms in your life, in ways both big and small.

“Instead of expecting the family to gather to honor you, it’s time to make the day about the next generation of mothers,” she continues. “Send them a card or a gift. Or even just a text telling them how much you appreciate the work they are doing as they raise your grandchildren. Positive affirmations like these are the building blocks of a healthy relationship, and the relationship you have with the mother of your grandchildren is one of the most important of your life.”

In addition to making sure that the moms in the trenches of motherhood are the ones getting celebrated and recognized, she adds that grandmother should step aside and out of the spotlight at the same time.

“As for that big family brunch, plan it to celebrate your birthday, or hold it on Saturday, so that the other mothers in the family can have the Mother’s Day celebration that they want,” she concludes.

Obviously, she is still fine with grandmothers wanting some recognition on the day — just as long as they aren’t stealing the show or making work for the moms who really need a break.

Down in the comments, everyone thanked her for her message.

“Yes,” one fellow grandmother wrote back, “My sons better make their wives’ day special!! It's their day now. I had my turn and it’s theirs now!!”

“I always tell my girls to bring me my grandbabies on that day, go get spoiled,” said one amazing grandmother. “I take the little ones to go see my mom. Then we all meet for dinner, because according to my kids, I paved the way.”

“Someone send this to my mom pls,” a number of moms wrote.

Others lamented that this is not how their moms and MILs approach the day.

“My oldest is 17. My mil has never once acknowledged me as a mother on Mother’s Day. It’s 100% her show,” one person said.

“It was always about the MIL as she held court at an expensive buffet brunch every May. It took me too many years to wake up,” another wrote.

One person had a great idea for everyone: How much would it take to run this TikTok as a commercial on FOX News? Ha!

It’s absolutely wonderful to celebrate all the moms in your life on Mother’s Day — they certainly deserve it. But she has a strong point: moms with little kids, who are really working hard to get through each day, deserve to be the center of attention, not grandmothers who have had years of celebration already. And to anyone who is upset by that? Grandparents Day is September 8 this year.