A New Mom "Screamed Into The Void" On Threads And Hundreds Of Moms Answered

There is truly nothing that can prepare you for being a mother. Those first days, weeks, and months with a newborn come with the stark reality that your life — and your very being — have been permanently changed forever. On top of that, you are sleep deprived, being used as a constant food source, have fluctuating hormones, and literally don’t have the use of your hands. Even with the best support system of friends and family, it’s hard. Without it, it’s nearly impossible. Mix in some postpartum depression, and you could be looking at a crisis.

I remember that those first six weeks felt like six months, and I would dread the setting sun every night. How did other people do this? How was I going to survive? Did I actually ever want this?

Over on Threads, one new mom hit a wall during her first year of motherhood — and all she could think to do was “scream into the void.” Kara Dellisanti Jordahl wrote down exactly how she was feeling, and it wasn’t good.

“I just need to scream into the void for a second,” she wrote. “I am 10 months postpartum as a first time mom, I have no idea who the hell I am anymore, our finances are a fucking wreck, my husband and I are two ships in the night who fight more than we connect…I feel so completely alone, and there are days I just feel like everybody and everything would be better if I was not here. Everything feels 1 million times harder than it should be and every day just feels like I am fighting to stay above water.”

So relatable.

Of course, she wasn’t exactly screaming into the void. In just hours, hundreds of mothers from across the platform wrote back to her with kind words, warmth, information, and advice.

“Hey, I've been where you are and it's so effing hard to keep your head above water,” one fellow mom wrote. “Please know that I love you just for being here. It's hard as hell, and it can feel like everyone kept the dark bad things secret and told you it's all sunshine and roses. It's not, it's a screaming crying mess and it feels like you're totally alone. But you're a warrior, you're fighting every day and coming through it. Find your village — online, in person, wherever.”

“I have no advice for you, just hugs,” said another. “I see you and I hear you and you're not alone. You're a good mama.”

“There needs to be more support for new families, especially mothers. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re in an incredibly difficult time of life, the very trenches. It’s so hard. And. It does not last forever. If there is any way for you to get help, get it whether it’s babysitting, someone to help take things off your plate, a night with your man, as much sleep as possible, whatever.I was there. I see you. My kids are older now and I’m rediscovering pieces of myself, you will too.”

“I have nothing for you except you are doing your best and the world is so difficult right now. 🩷”

“Oh mama. Been there. Lots of things listed you can’t control. What can you control? What tiny, small thing can you do today to take care of you? You are important and worthy, exactly as you are right now. What can you do, just for you, that might fill your joy cup up just a little. That baby loves their mama. The mama needs to love the mama too. I’m sorry it sucks right now. I bet it feels very isolating.”

“Keep your head above.. Just enough. Soon you'll float again. Soon you'll discover sails and soar.”

Many moms suggested that Jordahl seek out professional thoughts — as some of what she wrote could be caused by postpartum depression (or just regular depression).

“I know these feelings you describe, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling them,” wrote one mom. “As so many people have said, please reach out to your doctor and don’t take “no” for an answer. There is deep-rooted conditioning in the West that we need to keep it together, that we should be able to do it all alone, and that we should be grateful while doing it. It keeps us isolated and feeling alone. It’s BS. We need community and support, and I hope you can find that. YOU MATTER and your baby DOES need you.”

“Please talk to your doctor,” another wrote. “This is such a hard time for a new mom. Do not be ashamed either, its truly hard. Please talk to your doctor and consider asking for SSRIs. There is no shame in taking care of you. Once your health is stable then you can work on the other things.”

After reading the comments, Jordahl expressed her heartfelt thanks to everyone who took a moment to support her.

“I never expected the void to scream back with such encouragement and kindness,” she wrote. “Thank you all for your wisdom and for making this mama feel very seen. I have an apt with a new OB who I think will be a much better fit. I talked to my husband and MIL about needing more support and they are both 100% on my team. Thanks again, everyone.”

As everyone said, the world may be difficult, and our roles as mothers may feel impossible, but there’s still a little hope and a lot of love out there.