Parents Share What They Did With Their First Kid That They'd Never Do With Their Second

You know how that first pancake never quite comes out the way you want it? And by the last pancake, you’ve got it down to a culinary art? Sometimes parenting can be the same way. We go into it with the best intentions, but, ultimately, it’s our first time doing something and we’re going to make mistakes. The second time through (and the third and so on) we’re going to have so much more experience and wisdom.

Over on Reddit, user @gonnoisseur wanted to know what parents are doing differently on the second pancake.

“What's something you did with your first kid that you will never do with your 2nd+? I, personally, parented my first born son much differently than I am doing so for my second born son.. Sooo, I’ve got to ask: What's something you did with your first that you vowed never to do with your 2nd, or others? Why?”

The answers were surprisingly insightful, candid, and helpful.

Lots of parents wished that they had skipped the technology and apps that track infant info like feeds, breathing, and poops.

“I kept a log of feedings detailing which breast, starting time, and finish time. It didn’t make me anxious, but was completely unnecessary and the notebook looks like the journal of someone going mad,” one mom shared.

“Use an app to track poops and feeds because it made my anxiety worse,” another agreed. “With my 2nd overall, I know how rough postpartum is and just gonna be taking care of myself a whole lot better.”

In the same vein, many parents wished that they wouldn’t have been so strict with nap times, sleep schedules, and meal plans.

“With the first I stuck to a strict sleep schedule, obsessing over wake windows and wouldn’t leave any room for negotiation,” one mom explained. “I spent hours rocking, stressing and feeling frustrated wasting life in my bedroom. She woke every three hours until she was 17 months and went to her own bed and even then we had to take a step back to get her to sleep on her own and through the night at 22 months now.”

“With a second I wouldn’t force it and just see how it goes with schedules,” another agreed.

“I was more go with the flow as a NB,” another said. “My first took naps at home, dark room, sound machine etc. Second kid slept where ever we were. The park, the library, the car, Disneyland, you name it she probably napped there.”

And tons of parents wished they had held out on screens and phones for longer.

“Got them a cell phone at age 10. Not making that mistake twice,” one parent said.

“I’m pretty laid back about a lot of things but i would have never introduced video games or youtube to my kids if i could get a re-do,” another chimed in.

Here are some other great tips we loved from the comments:

“I would stop stressing about milestones. I still catch myself worrying but now that she’s almost 4 it seems so silly the stuff I used to worry about.”

“This isn’t as protective as some others but my first kid went to SO many lessons and paid activities as a toddler/baby. Such a waste of money before they’re at least preschool age.”

“Encourage self play. With our first we thought we were being great parents by always playing with them, constantly. Always setting up games and activities. Now our eldest isn’t great at entertaining herself.”

“I’m gonna try to be less anxious about messes. I didn’t let my first feed herself and I always wiped her down when she was even a little dirty because I have a sensory disorder and it just bothers me, but that caused problems with her not wanting to touch dirt or eat messy things. Has to use a utensil to eat everything. It’s stressing me out.”

“The beginning of her teen years, I screwed up big time. I was overly harsh and critical.”

These are definitely food for thought.