Police Chief Has Compassionate Response To Mom Who Lost Son With Autism To Drowning
The nonverbal 5-year-old boy eloped from home and was found in a nearby lake.
It’s every parent’s nightmare. On November 19, 5-year-old Neymir Luka Valere wandered away from his home in Port St. Lucie, Florida, and ran full speed down the street until he found a lake nearby. When police located him a few hours later, he had drowned.
Valere was on the autism spectrum and nonverbal, and like a significant number of kids that age with autism, eloping was a constant safety concern for his caregivers.
According to officials with the Port St. Lucie Police Department (PSLPD) the child’s mother thought that her son was with an older teen sibling upstairs. but a doorbell camera from a neighbor’s house shows the boy running by at around 4:40 p.m. He was reported missing at 8 p.m. and officials launched a huge search party, in which Valere was located in the lake that night.
In some cases like these, parents can be wrongfully subject to charges like child negligence, especially if the parents belong to certain races or socioeconomic brackets — as is shown in multiple studies.
This was thankfully not the case for this family, thanks to the compassionate response and understanding from Police Chief Leo Nymczyk, who addressed the media on the situation.
“If you could have been with the family when we had to notify them of finding the child, you would know in your heart that there was no foul play,” he said, obviously affected by the case. “It’s just one of those tragic things that can happen and does happen.”
He could have stopped there, but he went on to explain the constant and exhausting pressure that the parents of kids with special needs like this are under.
“Again, when you’ve got people who are responsible of this child who needs constant, constant care and surveillance, every day, every minute of every day, year in and and year out, for years on end, there’s the potential for one human error, one simple misjudgment, one accidental time falling asleep, it’s all it takes,” he said. “I think I’d be very careful about passing judgement on a parent who is tasked with something so difficult and challenging.”
According to the Cleveland Clinic, half of all kids diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) eloped at least once before the age of 4. Elopement, or wandering, can involve dashing into traffic, running from a playground, or sneaking out of the house while caregivers are distracted or sleeping.
While safety measures can help, such as door alarms and tracking devices, parents of kids who elope are faced with an issue in which accidents and death are one mistake away.
In the comments to a Facebook post of Officer Nymczyk’s response, parents deeply appreciated the lack of judgement and crystal-clear understanding about what it’s like to be a caregiver to a kid with special needs.
“The best news press statement with understanding the reality of a child with special needs,” one person wrote. “More cops need training like this.”
“Prayers for the family,” another wrote. “I supervised group homes for nearly 2 decades. Most people have no idea of the magnitude of challenges they face.”
“That’s an amazing officer! As an ESE teacher I understand,” another wrote. “I could not imagine not being able to get a shower without fear of my child running off for the rest of my life. People are so quick to pass judgement.”
“Sending so much love to this babies family,” a mom wrote. “This man gets it. My autistic son is 7 and just yesterday I went to use the bathroom he was sitting in the bedroom watching tv. Next thing I hear is the door, I bolted off the toilet. That’s how quick they can get away. He has even tried to get out of a parked car. As parents we are always on high alert. But we aren’t perfect.”
Thank you, Officer Nymczyk, for quickly locating Neymir and for understanding the situation for what it is: an incredibly tragic accident.
