Week 34: Some Days You’re Freaking Over it

It’s pregnancy week 34, and here’s what’s going on…

MIND

It’s week 34, and you’re in the home stretch — you’re no doubt alternating between periods of wanting this baby out right this very second to freaking out that there’s not enough time left to get ready and you need this baby to stay in for at least a couple more months!

Expect that to continue right up through delivery; some days you’ll love pregnancy, some days you’ll loathe it, and some days you’ll just be so freaking over it. Hang in there and enjoy the perks of pregnancy while you still can. (Ahh, the convenience of resting a heaping plate of whatever-the-hell-you-feel-like-eating on your belly shelf!). Before you know it, you’ll be up all night for 2 AM feedings instead of 2 AM pee breaks.

And, if it’s any consolation, the baby’s the one who decides when they’re being born anyway, so it doesn’t really matter if you’re ready or not! Get used to it, because your little one’s going to keep on calling the shots once they’re here.

BODY

Now that your belly button is in a new zip code, you’re no doubt knocking things off tables and shelves while you waddle around, searching for someone who can reach your shoes and tie them for you. You’re also back on Team Exhaustion, though the fatigue isn’t as intense as you remember from the first trimester because it’s mostly caused by nighttime discomforts and resulting insomnia, rather than the physical rigors of your body gearing up for pregnancy — though the physical rigors of just waddling across the room at this point are nothing to sneeze at, either!

This is the part of pregnancy when most pregnancy books reassure you that it’s still safe to have sex with your partner, and when most pregnant women laugh and laugh and laugh at the idea of having sex. If you’re feeling it, MORE POWER TO YOU, but since you’re not supposed to lie flat on your back, you might need to try lying on your side in the spooning position (assuming you plan to combine this romp with a nap)!

BABY

Any time now, your baby will be settling into a head-down position in preparation for their launch into the world, but they might still flip-flop back and forth enough times to make you wonder if they’ll be breech (butt- or legs-first). Your doctor or midwife can usually get your baby to turn around if they don’t do it on their own. So consider this the first in a long line of things your baby will do to scare the shit out of you but turn out to be nothing to worry about. Your baby’s about the size of a cannonball and weighs almost 5 pounds though they feel as heavy as about 5 million cannon balls.

NEST

Even if you plan on breastfeeding, you’ll need to get your bottle game sorted. Get a complete kit of bottles with nipples for newborns (yes, even the nipples have sizes; welcome to the land of babies, where everything has a size!!). Your newborn will be vulnerable to germs, so you’ll have to clean the bottles really well between uses — like, boiling them well — to prevent cross-contamination. You may want to invest in a bottle sanitizer or set up a bottle-only station near your stove. Your future self will thank you for considering the clutter.