A Parent Asks: Are Screen-Heavy Sleepovers The New Reality?
“They are not playing together, everyone is doing something different.”
Parents are in a near-constant battle over screen time. One surefire way to defeat it? Present a more entertaining option: playdates, park trips, anything where your kid can hang out with a friend IRL. But apparently, even sleepovers are no longer safe from the terror of iPads (and iPad kids).
A parent on Reddit took to r/Parenting to share what happened when they invited their elementary-aged son’s friends over for a slumber party — and you’re going to hate this so much.
“Half of the kids brought devices. iPad or Nintendo Switch,” the parent, user Overall-Paramedic explained. “They are not playing together, everyone is doing something different, yet they are all trying to simultaneously corral other friends into doing their thing. One kid has been staring at his Switch playing a game and I've had to check on him a few times just to make sure he's breathing.”
“What is this? This is NOT what I expected to happen. Shame on me for not saying ‘leave your devices at home please’? This is our first party like this and probably our last. Hey parents, don't do this to other people. It sucks,” they said.
Parents responded, and many were shocked by such behavior.
“I’m floored, OP. My child is 8, and we’ve had a million play dates and a number of sleepovers. No child has ever brought a device into my home. Not even once!” one user said.
However, it seems that this is a problem plenty of parents were already quite accustomed to.
“We had 10-12 year olds over for my daughter's slumber party - one girl did bring a phone and was completed addicted to it. I didn't really know what to do....I felt uncomfortable telling her to put it away because she seemed so anxious. But frankly, I'm not inviting her again,” said one user.
“I’m not shocked, it was the same for our oldest,” said another. “Now that he’s older it’s not uncommon to check in on him when he’s having a sleepover to see both kids on their phones…sitting together.”
Not all hope was lost, though. Some parents offered tried-and-true solutions.
“My 10 yo sons friends always show up with devices,” said one parent. “I just make sure they know the schedule of events as soon as they arrive. We always do something outside first (roller hockey, play soccer etc) then usually hook up a board game and snacks when we come in, then they can have some game time (max is 2 hrs)... I don’t mind the gaming and find as long as the kids all know the series of events I don’t get any pushback.”
“This is why I still have my Wii; my daughter and her friends go crazy for it, and we only allow ‘team games’ so everyone can be included,” said another user.
(As a child of the 2000’s, I can confirm, Wii sleepovers ruled).
“Next time just set a no-device rule beforehand,” another parent said. “My kid's friends' parents are usually relieved when I say ‘no screens at our sleepover.’ Plan some actual activities instead we did fort building and flashlight tag at my son's last one and the kids had a blast. They'll survive without their devices for one night!”
“I love this. Make an outdoor movie night, no iPads or switches allowed- or god forbid hand them monopoly or catan like my family did 😂” said another.
It’s just a little bit concerning that parents feel like they have to strong arm their kids and their friends into actually hanging out together at sleepovers. But, hey, at least it seems like they end up having fun eventually, even if it’s by force.
