1 In 5 Americans Would Rather Give Up Sex Than Ever Do Dishes Again

by Kristina Johnson
A man wearing a green apron while he's holding his head with one hand in a yellow glow.

Americans really hate doing dishes

In an excellent “Would You Rather…?” type of question, a recent survey asked Americans to choose between no sex for a year, or no more dishes for the rest of time. Many of us would have to think long and hard about that one, but for one in five of those surveyed it was actually a no-brainer: hello celibacy, so long kitchen sink!

Birds Eye teamed up with Kelton Global to poll 1,014 people to find out just how much they disliked dishwashing, and honestly, I wouldn’t have guessed that it was “give up sex” level of a hatred. The survey noted that average American spends six entire days per year washing dishes, which is a depressing stat if I’ve ever heard one. Like, many of us might actually be spending more time scrubbing pots and pans than taking vacation days? Yikes.

About 43 percent of those surveyed also copped to fighting with their family members or housemates about doing dishes — sometimes on a daily basis. I suspect that some of us who aren’t actively fighting about dishes are instead playing a version of kitchen sink jenga, where dirty dishes just keep being added to the towering pile until finally, the loser has no choice but to do them.

If you think sex vs. dishes is a bit of a saucy topic for a frozen food company like Birds Eye, you’re not wrong. But here’s the rub: the company is promoting a new line of sheet pan meals, and guess what? You only need to wash one sheet pan after you prepare one of their offerings — that’s compared to the six or so kitchen items the company claims you’ll dirty while prepping a regular meal. So maybe you won’t have to give up sex after all?

Now, this may not be the most scientific survey of all time, but honestly, can’t we all relate? Doing dishes is the freaking worst. My current place does not have a dishwasher, and I basically feel like an old-timey colonial woman every time I have to waste a few minutes of my life scrubbing down a pot. I would not have made it through the 1700s, that is for sure.

If you, like me, are trapped in a dishwasher-less existent — maybe it’s time to show this survey to your partner. You might magically find the money and space for one after all.