she doesn't judge

What’s A “Silky Mom”? A Viral TikTok Mom Explains The Guidelines

It’s the opposite of a crunchy mom.

One mom on TikTok made a call out for fellow silky moms after listing off all of the things she does...
TikTok / @amandajean618

Moms tend to be put in boxes based on how they parent their kids. Did you have an unmedicated birth and breastfeed to the point where your friends all judged you? Do you read food labels to avoid any sort of additive? Are cloth diapers your thing? You might be a “crunchy” mom.

The opposite of a crunchy mom is what TikTok now seems to call a “silky” mom. So, what are the parental guidelines that silky moms abide by?

One mom on TikTok is looking for fellow silky moms after listing off all of the things she does (or doesn’t do) as she lives her silky mom life.

“I don’t know who comes up with these mom terms, you know, ‘crunchy,’ ‘almond,’ ‘silky,’ whatever, but I do realize that I am 100% a ‘silky mom,’” TikTok mom Amanda Spickenagel admits.

“I personally don’t know anyone who’s washing this sh*t out of cloth diapers in 2023, but if you are, yay for you — not my style,” she says.

Spickenagel goes on to list off some semi-controversial topics when it comes to raising kids that she truly goes lax on. “As far as modern medicine goes, like giving your kids Tylenol and Motrin ... we use these on a daily basis,” she says while showing a bowl filled with syringes used to give kids medicine.

She moves onto screen time limits — probably one of the most polarizing of parenting topics.

“This is our current situation,” she says as she pans the camera to her daughter enjoying a snack while watching her tablet. “This is actually probably the first time the TV hasn’t been on in a long time, but we usually have a Ms. Rachel or Blippi or whoever. I don’t care. Turn it on all day.”

Spickenagel reveals her family is vaccinated and if she was offered two epidurals during her birthing experience, she would have gladly accepted.

She admits that red dye is something she has been working to avoid in her kids’ food, but otherwise, anything is fair game. “My kids eat whatever they want, like pizza, chips, fries, whatever. Eat it. As long as you’re eating, I don’t give a sh*t,” she says.

Moving on to infant feeding, Spickenagel says she did try breastfeeding with both of her children, but soon realized that nursing was not going to be part of her journey for very long.

“Not that it is anyone’s business, but both of my kids had milk allergies,” she revealed. “I’m selfish. I’m not changing my freaking diet to that extent, and it’s way easier when everyone can help. You know what I mean?” she says with a knowing look. “Dad.”

The video soon went viral — gaining over 200,000 views and over 27,000 likes — with hundreds of comments from fellow silky moms happy to finally find their people.

One user commented that silky moms, possibly the most laid-back of the mom groups, are the least likely to give another mom some side-eye. “Silky moms are the ‘most like to not judge you’ mom,” one user wrote.

Another wrote to Spickenagel to thank her for sharing her “silky” mom tendencies. “Thank you so much for this. It reminded me I am a good mom, even if I’m not one of ‘those moms.’ Silky moms for the win!!” she wrote.

One mom commented on the clip noting that, before kids, she had every intention of being a “crunchy” mom. Her kid had other plans. “I wanted to be crunchy, but my son wanted silky. So silky is whatcha get...” she wrote.

It’s refreshing to see TikTok moms find their people in a society where it can be tough to avoid mom shaming no matter if they’re “crunchy,” “scrunchie,” or “silky.”

Having these boxes and labels might seem silly to others, but it’s actually a fun and easy way to feel less shame about the way we choose to parent. Why not do it this way when the world will decide what kind of mom you are anyway based on one moment, like being on your phone while pushing a stroller or giving your kid a cake pop at 9 a.m.?