This Child-Free Woman Is Annoyed Her Friend Brought Her Child To Lunch Without Giving Her A Heads Up

After I had kids, things definitely shifted with my friends who didn’t have kids. Priorities change, and being in different seasons of life suddenly leaves little to chat about. The topic of friendship changing after kids seems to be a very touchy subject. This was especially apparent after a TikTok user, Julia, known for her childfree content, shared that she was slightly irked when her friend showed up to their lunch date with her kid in tow, noting that things didn’t really turn out how she planned.

“So, recently I went to meet up with a friend for lunch, and she shows up with her kid, which I didn't know she was gonna be doing,” she begins.

“And honestly, the lunch was just not really what I had bargained for. She was obviously very distracted. I couldn't get through three sentences without the kid needing something. And I walked away kind of not feeling like my cup was full. You know when you want like a meaningful interaction with someone? And I just couldn't get it ‘cause the kid was there. I don't think that you should spring your kids on people. If you have to bring the kid, you should tell your friend, and they should be able to decide whether or not they're up for that. Do you guys agree?”

The comments ranged from understanding to totally disagreeing with the OP.

“I think your friend may need a new friend,” one user wrote.

“As a mom, I’m so glad you’re not my friend!” another echoed.

Another pointed out, “Having to cancel due to childcare is also something childfree friends make me feel guilty about. Moms can’t win.”

A fellow childfree person said, “I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. I don’t like most kids. No, I don’t agree with you. I would never expect my friends with kids to have to find a sitter to go to lunch with me. Insane to me lol”

Another mentioned, “I think expecting your cup to be filled by a person who is constantly spilling theirs out for their household is a subconscious selfish expectation you may not think of. Maybe she also needed her cup filled while also knowing she was burdening the lunch with her responsibilities”

One commenter agreed with the OP and said, “100% agree. It’s so frustrating trying to have a conversation and being constantly interrupted….. like, don’t you (mom) want adult-conversation too?”

The OP replied, “Right! She said she couldn’t get a sitter so I know she also wanted to be just us, but, where was my say in any of this?”

Another wrote “I will not go to lunch with my kids. I tell ppl straight up I can’t come if I don’t have a babysitter. 😅 Cause yeah, there’s no way we’re having conversations with them around.”

The OP said, “Yeah I’d think it’s not enjoyable for the parent then either!”