This Mom Claims She Can No Longer Bed Rot After Having Kids & People Had Thoughts

After kids, life definitely changes. There is no debate about that. However, when one mom posted on TikTok that she can basically never sit down now that she’s a parent, people had some thoughts and questions, such as: Where is your partner?

“I think that nobody warns you about when you become a mother, you will never be lazy again,” TikTok creator Emily DiDonato said.

“If you were someone who enjoyed a bed rot day or if you restore from like, a long time laying in bed, watching your favorite show, I hate to break it to you, bestie, but those days are done.”

She continues, “Literally the second you become a mother ... I never sat down again really. I'm standing right now eating. Like this is my life, I just stand and walk and do stuff all day, every day. The second I had my baby, they're literally sewing me up down there. You would think, damn, I need a second after all that, right, after you just gave birth and then, no, no, no, my friend. You immediately have to start breastfeeding. They give you that baby and they're like, ‘Here you go, get that, get going.’ And I was like, ‘Wow, I really need a minute,’ but like, that was the beginning of the end. No more minutes. It was done.”

Several users saw this video as digital birth control, noting that if this is true, the idea of being a parent sounds...not fun! However, several others, moms especially, weighed into disprove DiDonato’s theory.

Anyone else wondering something like... where is the other parent?!

One TikTok user, Chelsea Fagan, also saw DiDonato’s video and had some interesting thoughts on her black and white thinking.

Fagan begins: “I came across a video this morning of a woman talking about how no one prepares you for the fact that once you have a child, as a woman, you will never be able to bed rot again. Like you will basically no longer have alone time as a woman to recharge and that if you are someone to whom that is very important it will be very difficult to lose.”

“I am truly begging some of you guys to consider that you just have shitty husbands. Because the idea that a woman would no longer have personal time whether that's to go out and do things with her friends or to just lay in the bed and do nothing assumes that she is essentially responsible for 24/7 childcare.”

She continues, “And the idea that we should normalize that or treat it as a baseline expectation just essentially lets fathers completely off the hook for parenting their own children. Because to be clear, there are plenty of women who have children and have really robust social lives or really dynamic careers or have great alone time for themselves. In fact, I know multiple mothers who literally schedule out bed rot days in their calendars. But what do all these women have in common? They have a partner at home who is an actual partner who views it as a completely equal responsibility to care for those children and not just as helping out the mom from time to time.”

She goes on to note that this woman’s testimony about never having a moment to herself to bed rot is exactly why women are “better off leaving marriages.”

And the statistics don’t lie.

“The elevated reported happiness and fulfillment and free time and energy and all of these things are because so many women are gaslighting themselves into a completely unfair, unequal partnership in which they're essentially raising their own kids plus the adult toddlers that they married instead of having 50% of the load taken off of them,” she said.

Period! Let’s stop normalizing this “you got this, mama!” mentality and start holding partners accountable.