listen closely

A Dad Asks All Moms: What Am I Supposed To Do When You're Yelling At The Kids?

And moms across the country had so many good answers for him.

Originally Published: 
A dad wants to know what he's supposed to do when his wife is yelling at the kids.

One big excuse men have for not helping with the house and kids is but I need you to tell me what to do! Sometimes it’s a matter of weaponized incompetence and sometimes they really do need some guidance on what their partner wants and needs in certain moments.

This week, comedian Dustin Anderson asked TikTok for advice about a time when he never knows the best plan of action: What should he do when his partner is yelling at the kids?

“Quick questions for the wives and mothers: When you are yelling at the children, what do you want me to do?” he asked. “I never know — am I supposed to be standing behind you like a hype man, being like ‘Yeah, that’s right!’”

He seems skeptical that that’s the right move. But he’s not sure what else is an option.

“Do you want me to just stand there quietly, hoping that the cannons don’t turn against me at some point? Sometimes I wonder, am I supposed to insert myself here, to save a life. What do you want me to do?”

As soon as he posted the video, moms from around the world were quick to share their two cents about what they need in that moment. After just a day, the video had a million views and over 5,000 comments.

“If we are yelling, you’ve already missed your opportunity sir,” the most popular comment reads.

And that’s a really good point. Many moms don’t yell at their kids unless things have come completely off the rails, and if you were standing around when that happened, you might have lost your chance to do the best thing already.

Others agreed:

“We want you to manage it before we have to yell,” one mom wrote.

“Help us PARENT your children so we don’t have to be the only one doing it,” another said.

Several moms brought the guy in on a little secret: She’s probably not just yelling at the kids if you’re in the room.

“Chances are we are also yelling at you,” one person put it succinctly.

Another mom had very popular advice for this moment: “Start cleaning something quickly.”

If you are cleaning up a mess in the house, you really, really, really can’t go wrong.

But the majority of moms wanted back-up in this moment.

“Simple phrase ‘listen to what your mom is saying,’” one mom advised.

“Back her up,” another said. “Pay attention to what she's yelling about and next time intervene before she has to resort to yelling.”

“Say, ‘Babe I got this,’ and take care of it while she does something for her,” another agreed. “She is maxed out if she is yelling!”

“If we’ve melted down to the point of yelling, take the situation over so we can walk away,” another said. ‘Let me take it from here. I’ve got you.’”

The bottom line is exactly that: The kids need to deal with a calmer parent, so get mom some rest and get the kids in line in a calm way.

“Clean and/or grab the kids and run away for a few hours,” said one mom — and that seems like the most right answer. Note it, dads!

This article was originally published on