Patton Oswalt Tweets About Breakfast, Parents Of Twitter Respond Accordingly

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 

Patton Oswalt’s tweet reminds us we’re all on the same diet and it’s called “what our kids leave behind”

When I was in my 20’s I did the Atkins diet. I ate nothing but bacon and cheese for precisely four months and lost 20 pounds. (I’m exaggerating, a little. There was some sausage thrown in for good measure.) Now, I eat nothing but the leftover scraps my kids leave behind on their plates, and I’m fatter than I’ve ever been in my life.

What the hell, parenting? What the hell, aging?

As parents, we all know the reality of eating after our kids. There’s a part of me that thinks if my kids were better eaters, I’d be, too. Because I’d actually take the time to fancy myself a meal instead of eating whatever they leave behind. Patton Oswalt took to Twitter this morning to talk about something parents are all too familiar with: leftover breakfast. Specifically, eating your child’s.

Suddenly, the parents of Twitter were less alone. They realized they weren’t the only ones with the gross habit of eating what their child left behind.

#Solidarity. The tweets came rolling in.

If you don’t fancy all your meals out of scraps your kid left behind, keep it moving. Nothing to see here.

Yes. Yes, it does.


Most of us do, Jason. Most of us do.

18 years! Do you mean we’ll be doing this forever?

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